The Birth Order of Children

GoingGoingGone

Hi all!

I was feeling pretty crappy last night, and in trying to cheer myself up, I discovered the 'Humor' section of this forum... so I thought I'd share some of my favorites! Enjoy!

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THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1 st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2 nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3 rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1 st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2 nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3re baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1 st baby: You pre-wash the newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2 nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3 rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:

1 st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.

2 nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3 rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1 st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2 nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3 rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1 st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2 nd baby: You change the diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3 rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1 st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour.

2 nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out:

1 st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2 nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3 rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1 st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2 nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3 rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swollowing Coins:

1 st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2 nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3 rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

GRANDCHILDREN: God’s reward for allowing your children to live.

Enjoy every moment. Remember, it makes a memory, good or bad!

Ellie

Thats fantastic, and as I'm sitting here waiting for my second baby to be born (shes 3 days overdue) I can definately relate to the pregnancy part.

kls

Omg , it's not only humorus but it is so true . I never thought about it till i read this and it really speaks truth

Or when you are packing up the kids to go shopping and the youngest is waving goodbye mommy and daddy from the window,,Always do a head count when leaving.

Roflmao, OMG, that is to true and too funny. i have three so yep I can relate....they are all boys though....gotta make sure the 2 year old isn't kicking the 7 month old in the head....lol. I try and hide but they always find me.....For halloween last year i put up fake head stone on the front lawn...mine read "Here lies Summer, Hiding from kids, best sleep in years"