ever been sleepless?

I couldn't sleep the other night, so I thought I'd get on the computer and write a few lines--just whatever came out. I'll warn you that this doesn't make any sense, but it's kind of fun to examine. You'll get nowhere with it though. I apologize in advance for wasting your time should you choose to read it. :-)

I hear it calling, and who but my new auspicious mate shall drive me there? The horizon blooms daintily on the dewdrops of the new journey, and I explore the unknown with vigorous eyes, wondering when the fellow of action shall leave, the dust gathers on the mounted motor car, waiting to be blown off with the 65 mph air of freedom, carrying progressively to a sensible end. I must act to be my catalyst to dreams, and yet my waiting's weariness purges my senses of reason and dictates that I trust the fellow, awakening later to my progressive course into bliss.

Endless summer breezes burning the dusky dewlight through the nape of the window, wondering where the road blows to life in times yet to be. Why is that damnded cow crapping in my road? Why are the stars mesmerizing? I don't care! I care not! Flooded is the dream that will never be! Sparse is the sunlight's consoling rays of hopeless illumination, for the blindness overwhelms my sight, horrifying visions of death! All alone am I, excepting the snoring lunatic wailing in my mind, asleep the reality of my vast expanses of holistic horseshit. Gone are the days when the world slept for me to weep. Weeping worlds of crashing miscarriages of gore-less toads. They're not coming to take me away, for I have already eaten the musty taste of touch, and I've lost the compass of melding fireworks across the purple sky. I am not my brother's keeper, orphaned in the lands of gold. Caring not for direction, I shall seek Ponce de Leon's world, I shall dive into the culvert canvassing the flat of the road, I shall drive 65 mph. I shall have the drug to cure my cravings!! I shall eradicate pain! Though it be here, I shall not be afraid! I'm not afraid!! I AM NOT AFRAID!! I will never fear the intangible ghost of my dreams!!! I'll die before I fear!

I drowsily awake, but terror hampers my freedom. My bliss was not progressive, and I fear the driver was not auspicious. A raving, imbecilic lunatic would feel at home with this navigator! I look for the sun, but the sun is nowhere to be found. Reason dictates that I shall see the sun soon, but days come and nights pass and I'm left with desperate seeds of plots to overcome the frightful chap. He's really not so bad—I'll kill him with a couple of pills and bury him with the rest of the refuse. Then I shall find my own course back to the valley of sweet tomatoes and blank canvasses and child's laughter. It will be easy, though I go only 65, I've not far to go if I aim correctly and unerringly, taking the wheel away from the far flung lunar man.

That's what I am!! I'll write you into submission. I'll animate you with my words and drink you with my pen, I'll swallow you with Pepto-Bismol and wipe your memory off of my ass with a corn cob!! Ha aha aha hahahhha!! He he. Who says the million mile is gone? I am me! I am here! I will take you to your maker! Pop goes the weasel! Everybody sneeze your hopeless souls to me! For I will show you pain in the arrows of your heart, and I will weep when you are quenched of your badness, for I will rule all, and I will submit all, and I will end it the way I want to! YOU CANNOT SLOW ME DOWN! I WILL PREVAIL!

I'm so tired. Poison pills affect the good as well as the bad, but none who are immune. He goes on so! The days, the months, my god the years! He's too powerful! I must abandon the road for worlds never explored. I must end it all. If there's a price to pay for doing the right thing, then I must pay whatever I owe, write a check. And yet I know that he is me. I cannot kill him. I cannot run. I cannot hide. I'll go to sleep tonight in the desolate forest, and I'll awake with the screaming companion of my youth. And so I'll dream. I'll dream walk until I find the answer. I'll not awake, I'll play the game in my sleep, for sleep is food for the soul. I'll wait for the answer that is yet to be made, and I'll wonder where I went wrong.

talesin

Hey, sleepless here!

I loved this para.

That's what I am!! I'll write you into submission. I'll animate you with my words and drink you with my pen, I'll swallow you with Pepto-Bismol and wipe your memory off of my ass with a corn cob!! Ha aha aha hahahhha!! He he. Who says the million mile is gone? I am me! I am here! I will take you to your maker! Pop goes the weasel! Everybody sneeze your hopeless souls to me! For I will show you pain in the arrows of your heart, and I will weep when you are quenched of your badness, for I will rule all, and I will submit all, and I will end it the way I want to! YOU CANNOT SLOW ME DOWN! I WILL PREVAIL!

lol! I especially liked the bolded sentence .... and, umm,,, can I have some of that $h*t you are smoking?

j/k

tal

5thGeneration

Sleepless EVERY frickin' night.

Still in the truth because of family.

Can't stinking get truth problems out of my mind. Stay up 'till 4 or 5 sometimes. Put on soothing music to try to get my head from not spinning and forget it and sing.

Such is life I guess. OR NOT!

John Doe

lol at Talesin. Yeah, I've been called wierd before.

5thG, that sounds miserable. I think learning to let go of worries is the hardest lesson in life. Some worry is good, but too much is not. I know the feeling.

talesin

Just to let you know ... I don't think it is weird at all ... it is great stream-of-consciousness writing.

I know what it's like,,, I have had insomnia since ... forever. In all sincerity,,, all joking aside, I hope it gets better, friend!

xo

tal

John Doe

Thanks Talesin--you're much too kind. :-) I don't have as much a problem with sleep anymore, just occasionally. Really, this was more the product of some indigestion than anything more serious. :-) But yeah, I used to suffer intensely from lack of sleep. There was a time in my life when I was doing good to sleep 3 hours/day. Amazing how you start to view things after being sleep deprived. lol

not the administrator

use to pay good money to be sleepless

poppers

Only in Seattle. (it only took me 2 edits to correctly spell a 3 word phrase - now I'll be sleepless in Wisconsin)

ever been sleepless?

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