by wordlywife 7 Replies latest jw friends
JW husband says that 18 is still a minor according to WT doctrine, so if he has to shun his daughter there are certain things he can still do. Is this true? Is there an age where if a child is df'd that certain "allowances" are made (like younger child or child living with you)? She does not live with us, so he doesn't "have" to see her at all, if she is df'd soon.
Thanks-
Worldly wife
He does not have to shun here. There is room in the societies rules for normal seeing the person when it is a close family.
Eating together is a problem, and he can't talk about spiritual things with her. Other things are OK or allowable though!
I don't really think they have a rule set for the age of a minor, as it is legally different in some countries.
That's a floating answer. You're not a minor "in Jehovah's eyes" if you know right from wrong and can make a dedication and get baptized. You're no longer under parental safety when you know better. But according to the law, 18 or less is "adult". But Jehovah's laws are higher than the laws of the land.
In the UKyou are legally an adult at 18 and the advice my father received was to still take care of his responsibilities towards me until I was 18. I was Dfed and not living at home when I was 16. So long as I was moving towards reinstatement and there was good strong evidence of it my parents always ate with me and did discuss spiritual things with me whether I was a legal minor or not and whether I was living at home or not. They only shunned me when I was not attending meetings and had no aspirations to be reinstated. Therefore they shunned me at 16 but when I staretd attending meetings they invited me back to live with them. When I was disfellowshipped again at 17/18 they shunned me again continusously until I was 22 and started working towards reinstatement. We even took a holiday together! However when I got disfellowshipped again that was kind of it and they haven't had any contact with me face to face in the last 8 years and no phone calls except from my dad to advise me of my grandparents deaths etc. There was one face top face contact with my father about 3 years ago when I went to collect some items my grandma had left for me as they hadn;t wanted me to come to her funeral.
Hope this helps you understand. Much I believe is up to conscience but if he is seen to be having contact with his daughter aside from urgent family business whilst she is not attempting to be reinstated then he will be counselled and urged not to you. You can have contact with her however - you can eat with her - and he can show how unloving he is and take his meal elsewhere. She's lucky she's got a step mom prepared to fight her corner and who cares so much.
At 18 she is still considered a minor is she lives with her father and you subject to his "headship." If she moves out, he has no scriptural authority over her or legally.
The Watchtower's definition of a minor depends on what's at stake. It depends on whether you're talking about a person's rights or his obligations. A minor can be baptized and then subjected to the "judicial decisions" of the elders as though he were an adult. An adult, who has the legal right to grow a beard if he wishes, will face sanctions from the elders if he does so.
It has nothing to do with age. It's all about obedience to the watchtower.
W
I remember conventions when they had 10 year olds getting baptized. That was so sick. Everyone was saying: "You isn't so and so spiritual. blah blah blah blah". How can any elder think that it's ok for a 10 year old to get baptized when they claim it's the most important decision of their life?
I was baptized when I was 15. All of my friends in the cong. were getting baptized and there was so much pressure to get baptized. Elders asking "so and so just got baptized, when are you planning on making a decision to dedicate youself?" My mom would tell me how happy this person's parents looked, etc etc.
It's just BS how the WT thinks that anyone under 20 make a decision like that.
bp
lol @ bstndance. That is soooo true. I was baptized before i was even a teenager, what a big mistake that was.
An elder once told me that at first society wasnt accepting younglings into the order during the 70's. But by the time they were 17/18 they didnt want any part in it anymore. So they started accepting younger kids.
It really bothers me when i see them though. Kind of makes it harder to leave.
