Revelation of self

by Sparkplug 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Sparkplug

  I noticed via a friend with no reserve that I have come across harshly to some women. Not as harsh as it would be noticeable to someone on an internet board who does not know me could notice, BUT....to those who know me outside of the board, I have spoken as sharply as I can get at times.

  I want to take this post to apologize. I just flat have a hard time with personalities such as mine has been, or still is in ways. There are so many things I have changed in myself that I did not like that when I see these things in peoples post, I don't buy it. I really do not like it. There are warning signs that I think they may be missing, or ethical issues I think may be being crossed in ever so subtle ways, or things I think are blatant lies to ones self. None of it is a proven fact, just me and my way I see the world. So If I have ever been a shit to you, I should not have because my reasons were strictly based on my knowing my own experience and other women (who are not you all here on the board) as individuals. That still does not make an egg a particular chicken.

  So I am going to try to take more as face value and let each make their own mistakes or not. Seeing I cannot see your faces, feel the stress in your voice and do not know your style of humor, I need to take a breath of air and let people be. We all know things come out way different when typing and not having all the senses come out at once... Well that hinders our chance to really know each other.

  I hope I get a chance to meet all of you and actually get the whole effect.

  I f you missed that I was a snot at times, well that is good. I do tend to think if you knew I was being a beeeaatch that perhaps we are of more like mind than either one of us wants to admit. Remember that saying..Takes one to know one? Perhaps the recognition means you are capeable of what I think. Boy do I know this crazy lady that dwells within what I call a body well.

  I really suck at apologies. Did this one come across as one? I meant it as one. Look I am sincere.....

  Really I love the idea of a sisterhood of women! I can be the biggest fan of women sticking together. And that means accepting ones who don't mind possessing the traits I despise because I once possessed them.
• 

  Sparkplug

  If it apears that I am trying to sneak one over and yet make it look like an apology, well I am not. Really I figured, maybe I should explain why I was such a poo pooh head and that way this wasnt an I am sorry out to the universe without anyone having a clue. But by the response, maybe my bite is not that harsh....
• 

  Golf

  You've never said anything negative to me, so, be kind to yourself. I like people who get to the point. No need to reveal all of yourself on this forum. You need to maintain your space.
  
  Relax and enjoy life, live for today not the past or future, today!
  
  
  Golf
• 

  sweet tee

  No, you haven't been 'sh*tty to me either sparkplug. I take things here with a little more salt than used to. I just don't have the energy to get all emotional over a thread the way I did at first (with the exception of the 'you know what' thread).

  We are all a work in progress. I've been dealing with a lady I serve with on a business module. She's one strongheaded sista, working in the background gathering support behind my back, not calling me to discuss MY IDEA, politicing and making promises without consulting the rest of the team ... etc.

  Thing is, I agreed to do this forum to help someone she's concerned about. But now, it's turned into the "CHERYL SHOW". I knew what type of personality I was dealing with, I see some of my 'former' self in her. I also see a dominant personality type which I already know is a challenge for me. That's the main reason I stuck it out for almost a year, when I really wanted to bolt after the first couple of meetings - I know I can learn something from this woman, If nothing more than how to be more influential, tactful and a better negotiator myself.

  Yea sparkplug - women have issues but we know that only WE can understand one another the way we do .

  ((((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))))

  sweet tee
• 

  anewme

  This forum is a real opportunity to express our true selves, our outraged selves and our apologetic selves. Its like real life, maybe even better in a way! Through this media we can expand and contract as we grow toward our mature selves.
  I think apologies are a wonderful way to wipe the slate clean and start over anew!
  They clear the air for more heartfelt communication.
  Hang in there sis!
• 

  Billygoat

  Decki,

  I've never thought you to be a beeatch at all. Honest? Yes. Outspoken? Yes. But I appreciate those things in a human...not just a woman. I do understand what you're saying about taking posts at face value. Too many times we think we understand what they're saying when we don't. I've made the same mistake recently with a friend here and it took several PMs to straighten it out. Just crossed wires...if you're truly friends, you'll work through it.

  Two things I love about being an ex-Witness: one, there is grace. When we screw up, we're forgiven. If not by the other party than at least we forgive ourselves. Two, we understand that going through the pain and energy of healthy communication is worth it. Working things out as a JW was nothing more than gossiping about it to other sisters until it blew over...and then maybe you heard through the grapevine that they're not mad anymore. I'm so glad we're above that sophomoric behavior now.

  (((hugs)))

  Andi