My sister although not df'd at the time, explored at least one other religion. She attended regularly and was a Sunday School teacher. I asked her today what was her motivation and asked if she had ever done research about the organization. She told me that she was angry with the people in the JW organization and was simply looking for a place to belong. She says that she had an extremely rebellious spirit which opened her up to all sorts of demonic influences.
I do admit that there was a time when I was very angry with people (elders, former friends, family) in the JW org. However, because of everything I was taught about avoiding apostates and not looking beyond the material put out by the WTS, I never did any research. It wasn't until I thought long and hard about returning that I decided that, since none of what I was taught ever took root, maybe I should study on my own (since obviously there was no JW that would help me get a clearer understanding of the things that I never understood). I suppose I still have some residual feelings of anger, but it isn't the raging anger I once felt, and I may be fooling myself, but I don't think it prevents me from seeing what's real. I'm not latching onto anything just for the sake of belonging. I've been alone in this world for the past 4 years almost and I've never had the desire to belong to another religious group. Part of my reason for searching stems from my desire to worship. In order to do this, I have to understand why I have this need and I need to build a foundation for my beliefs. I am looking for a place that strictly adheres to the bible and is filled with warm, non-judgmental, christian love.
That's my short story, but I can't share that with anyone from my JW past because they think that I'm lost and angry and headed towards destruction. I'm sure many of you have had similar experiences. Will you share them with me?