Driving Down Old Roads

by wanderlustguy 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Strange how the hardest thing to do is nothing, and you could swear the “devil” is trying to get you. I got a phone call the other night I knew would come, on old road beckoning. It was a great one, too, beautiful in so many ways, but at the same time riddled with potholes and dangers to me. The thing is, I know better, but it is still not easy. I’ve chosen one definitely less traveled in my opinion, a small road that will have me “alone” for a while.

    So what was good about this old one? These questions must be answered, old relationships, like roads, take us places in ourselves. This one eventually forced me to face things that have freed my mind. I had never laughed or enjoyed so many little things about someone before, it was the first time I knew what real love was, the kind where nothing else matters.

    Like a drug almost I neglected so many other things I needed, my friends, my kids, my development as a person both professionally and personally. I know I can go back there now, but my mind screams at me “don’t you dare f*cking do it”. I have to make myself remember the bad times, which were about half the time in reality because of my goals as well as the person I was. I am full of ambition and work like few do, wrapping myself in it for weeks at a time developing the business, but to be fair I also take myself out of it for weeks at a time. We used to fight so much about where I was or what I was f doing if I didn’t answer my phone, and the “leash” chaffed me something terrible. I am a free spirit and generally more freedom equally more loyalty from me in a relationship. Also I know one of the things I love so much today is meeting the kindred spirits I have been sharing parts of my life with for almost a year now. She would never understand why I love talking to so many people I have never met, or the midnight phone calls from someone who is just down in the dumps and wants to hear a voice on the phone. It makes me happy to take those calls and talk to my friends.

    So why the ramble on and on about this, putting it out there for people to see, hell, I don’t know. Maybe because I like seeing where somebody tells me I’m doing the right thing and its supposed to be this hard BECAUSE it’s the right thing to do. I know before I wasn’t committed to being me, and I didn’t even know who me was. It’s clear now the longer I go on that the right choice was made about staying alone. But sometimes I guess I need to see someone else gives a shit.

    Days like today I loathe being alone, I miss sharing things because it makes me happy. I miss giving, but maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be working on, being more careful about who I give to, making sure they give back and don’t use me like so many have.

    It’s still so f*cking hard sometimes. Tomorrow will be better.

    WLG

  • talesin
    talesin

    I always say,,, better to be alone and lonely, than being with someone and desperately unhappy most of the time, sitting next to them on the couch or at the dinner table, and feeling so lonely because of the emotional disconnect ... yah, you have made the right choice.

    ((hug))

    t

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    Ahh our wild boy is growing up a bit...

    Just keep talking and get it out. Then ponder some more. As you yourself say, "This is good for (you)."

    Proud of you. Sounds like your thinking it out.

    Decki

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    WLG,

    Thanks for posting your feelings. I understand and can connect to every word you just wrote. I've been there..........I AM there! After last year's big adventure that failed, I am now satisfied with me and have a whole new appreciation for my life of being a single, lone wolf kind of 58 year old who loves to see what is around the bend.

    But just like you said.........sometimes being alone at certain times sucks. That's when my network of friends comes in. A network I never had in my previous life of conformity!

    Hang in there and keep your positive attitude. I appreciate the way you can put these things into words.

    HD

  • thom
    thom

    You're traveling a road many of us have. It's rough, as you say, but I believe it leads somewhere worthwhile.
    Just last night I lay in bed daydreaming about my marriage. About all the good times, all the fun, the companionship. Today I wake up and the reality of why I'm better off hits me. It's so easy to think of only the good in our memory. Only what we miss. But there was a reason why we wanted out in the first place, and it was real. I find that over time I dwell on the good memories and forget the bad. That can make it harder to believe I'm on the right road, but I am. I know why I am, but it's so easy to forget.
    It's easy to want just the good back, but it's not real. With the good comes everything else. We push those memories away, but we know. We can't forget, for our own protection.
    There's no need to hate, to punish, just learn and grow. Cherish the good memories in life, but be able to recall the bad when necesary to guide us forward.
    The longer I travel down this road, the more I enjoy it. Pursuing new goals, building new dreams, finding new joys. Sometimes I look back, but less often than before. The road is nowhere near as rough as it was at the start.
    I hope your road leads you where you need to go. Before you make any turns, take time and think deeply.

  • JW83
    JW83

    I like seeing where somebody tells me I’m doing the right thing and its supposed to be this hard BECAUSE it’s the right thing to do

    You are doing the right thing & it seems hard BECAUSE it is the right thing to do!!

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