The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here
are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial
word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are
terrifically innovative:
1. _Intaxication_: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. _Reintarnation_: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. _Bozone_ (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. _Cashtration_ (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. _Giraffiti:_ Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. _Sarchasm_: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
7. _Inoculatte_: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
8. _Hipatitis_: Terminal coolness.
9. _Osteopornosis_: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
10. _Karmageddon_: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
11._ Decafalon _(n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
12. _Glibido_: All talk and no action.
13. _Dopeler effect_: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
14. _Arachnoleptic fit_ (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. _Beelzebug _(n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
16. _Caterpallor_ (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the lot:
17. _Ignoranus:_ A person who's both stupid and an asshole.