Startin' Off Vacation with a Crying Jag!

by Ingenuous 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ingenuous
    Ingenuous

    I've been too afraid to go to my parents' place to see them since my last encounter with my Dad. My Dad came by this morning to talk.

    90% of it went pretty well.

    I gave him a letter I'd composed to give to the brothers in lieu of meeting with them (I don't have the emotional wherewithal to do it, besides having no intention of giving them the satisfaction). It described the things taught by the Org that bothered my conscience - not all of the things, but those things that prompted me to quit service and meetings: The Org's insistence on prophesying, its insistence on JWs accepting everything they teach to remain "Christians", policies which cost lives then are changed (e.g., blood, organ transplants), the "no mediator for the Great Crowd" teaching, 607 BCE, the UN fiasco.

    In addition to agreeing that these are important issues that deserve answers, he stated that he felt the Org did too much "talking" (putting thousands of pages of their perspective into print) and that they were constantly sticking their nose into things they shouldn't be (i.e., prophesying the end of the world). He even agreed with my feeling that pedophiles shouldn't be going door-to-door.

    I told him I could not in good conscience go from door-to-door telling people to join this organization.

    He said he could respect my need to not participate in the ministry when my conscience wouldn't allow me to. He could also respect my need to avoid the meetings, as he knew that having difficulties with what was taught/done there yet forcing myself to go would be unhealthy.

    He said he could respect my doubts.

    But I wasn't allowed to pursue answers to those doubts outside of the Org.

    That there was a difference between non-participation because of conscience or deeply-injurious personal offenses and pursuing "something else" through another route.

    And that only those questions I came up with myself were alright to have - it wasn't OK to "field" questions posed by opposers/non-Witnesses.

    Well, at least I know they don't hate me anymore.

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    Maybe you and he could research the 607 thing together?

  • kazar
    kazar

    Sounds like your father really loves you and is more flexible than most would be under the circumstances. Here's hoping things work out for the best for you.

  • thom
    thom

    He really seems to be putting some effort into showing some understanding. That's great! I hope it continues. I wouldn't push too hard to try to force him to understand and agree with everything since he's shown some flexibility. Maybe move slowly and not make him feel forced to give up on you.
    Just my opinion...

  • Es
    Es

    Well thats great that he respects that i know my parents wouldnt it. Its a start.

    es

  • Ingenuous
    Ingenuous

    I'm grateful it went as well as it did. I feel a lot less fearful dealing with my parents now. My Dad said he'd let me know if he found anything "helpful" about the points I brought up; I'd welcome his input and the possibility of a calm, reasonable discussion. I'm just glad I had a normal conversation with my mother tonight - the first one in weeks. I'll have to keep any Bible discussions with others to myself for the time being - which I planned on doing anyway. (Theocratic War Strategy, anyone?) At this point, getting DF'd may actually be a good thing: if my Dad thinks my questions are valid and the elders decide they're unacceptable, it could be an eye-opener for my folks. I think I'll take a few cues from IThinkISee - babysteps.

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    I'm glad to hear that you and your folks are talking things out. I agree that baby steps are probably the way to go right now.

    Keep us posted!

    Dams

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Wow, it sounds like your dad has a wierd mental tic about searching elsewhere, considering his agreements and thoughts on the items you listed. But the good news is that, considering his agreements and thoughts on the items you listed, he is for all intents and purposes, an apostate!

    Don't celebrate just yet, but his comments sound VERY good. Proceed with caution of course; as you said, baby steps.

  • Purza
    Purza

    That is good to hear -- at least the lines of communication are still open. Keep a positive outlook and hopefully you can reach a middle ground. *fingers crossed*

    Purza

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