Letter to my JW ex-wife

by Fatfreek 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Fatfreek

  My first marriage of 19 years ended as I left the JW's. I was (their word) apostate.

  I heard that her mother, also a JW, died yesterday. She'd been senile for several years.

  It's been some 27 years since our divorce but I couldn't stop thinking about her mother last night. I decided to write (yes, I don't like machine writing of such things) a letter of condolence to Ex this morning. She may trash it. She may return to sender. I simply felt compelled.

  What would you have done?

  Fats

  September 19, 2005

  Mxxxxxx,

  I am so sorry for your loss. I remember Mxxx and still remember her well.

  Her perpetual smile and a truly beautiful one. She still had much of it when I saw her in July, 2004.

  Her energy. The slipcovers she crafted for McGregor Furniture. The Slimgym saleslady. The anytime hostess and chef whenever we dropped by. Her generosity. Her patience with Jxxxxxxx. Her optimism.

  I remember Mxxx as your best friend and confidant. Few can remember their mother that way.

  Len
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  under74

  Nice message. You're good for sending it.
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  kls

  Nice letter and i am sure your x will appreciate it.
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  arwen

  In times of sorrow I think we need all the comfort we can get...I, too, have lost my mom and it is indeed a terrible loss no matter how sick the mom was. We just have one mother..and mine too was my best friend..I think your ex will be grateful for your words...
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  kwintestal

  Nice letter. I hope you feel better for sending it.

  Kwin
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  Fatfreek

  Yes, Kwin, I certainly do feel better about it. Not nearly as profound as yours to all the cong. members (that one was so good it's still fresh in my mind) but the more I dwell on it, I think she will be curious when she sees the return address.

  Interestingly, her mother always remembered our birthdays -- just a phone greeting or such. That always raised my eyebrows and irritated her daughter somewhat. A JW from the early 40's, she wasn't real staunch, conducted a study here and there with others but more of a coward when it came to field service. Told her daughter that her sinus condition was too bad. Otherwise, a classy lady.

  Thanks to ya'll for your encouragement.

  Fats
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  bebu

  That was very well-written! Any grieving family member would have to appreciate it, being comforted in knowing that others could see the same goodness in her that they did.

  You are very kind to have done that!!!

  bebu
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  anewme

  Yes, Fatfreek, "a word at the right time is oh how good!"
  And words of condolence are always appropriate and appreciated.
  You are a very loving person to write after all these years.
  I too still have feelings for my ex and for his family that will never go away.