I think most (particularly those with witness parents or family) are witnesses because it is easier to stay than to go. What I am wondering is- why would a reasonably educated adult choose to become a witness in the first place? My parents got into it when I was about five and I have asked them what the reason was and the answer has varied over the years from "the world is a sick place and we did it for you" to "we were lost and looking for something". I think the ultimate reason is - being a witness absolves one of a lot of responsibility. Plan for the future - what future? etc. Thoughts?
Are you a witness because it is the path of least resistance?
by tfsm 7 Replies latest jw experiences
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kid-A
I personally know many adult dubs, born and raised in it, who have had doubts all their lives, to simply stay in it out of apathy and fear of rocking the boat. I think this is extremely sad, but there is a phenomenon in the behavioural psychology literature known as "Learned Helplessness" that I think perfectly describes this mind-set. They have been conditioned not to resist and simply accept the situation....the nagging doubts are still there and plague them, but they honestly feel its better to remain with the "devil they know" then venture into terra incognita.
As for adults who join, I would imagine there is typically some precipitating event that shakes them to their core, rendering them vulnerable to the "psychological anaesthesia" the watchtower offers them.
Its interesting, based on your age, I am guessing your parents joined the WTS around 1973. Have you ever asked them if the 1975 predictions were part of their inspiration for joining?
Cheers
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tfsm
Excellent observation Kid! '74 to about '77 they were studying. They always claimed the '75 prediction didn't influence them. I remember them talking derisively about families that went deep in debt because they didn't think they would have to pay any of it back. I also remember them saying I shouldn't go to college because there wasn't any point learning the ways of the "old system". Kind of contradictory but there you go...
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kid-A
My parents came in in the 60s, but thankfully they never bought into the 75 crap. There was a HUGE drop in membership in 76-77....ah if only those trends had continued !! LOL
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Ingenuous
I think most (particularly those with witness parents or family) are witnesses because it is easier to stay than to go. What I am wondering is- why would a reasonably educated adult choose to become a witness in the first place?
It's such a surprise to see this post because I was thinking about something similar tonight. I had just had dinner with my JW sister and her husband and was feeling a great deal of guilt and loss. The guilt was from knowing that my stance likely makes her feel uncomfortable around me and I never wanted to cause that. The loss is from knowing the relationship with my immediate family (all JWs) will never be the same - for as long as we even have a relationship, that is.
I found myself thinking, "What have I done?" I know what I've done - given up the illusion, the comfort of letting my personal responsibility rest with an organization, given up on feeding relationships that were conditional on swallowing doctrines whole. But I had an overwhelming moment of tiredness - exhaustion with uprooting all my old beliefs, with remaking myself, with feeling like I've stepped off the edge of a cliff. Just for a moment, I wanted everything to be the way it was: my family happy with and approving of me, a belief system that had all the answers, the assurance that I was wanted and special and that somebody in Brooklyn had it all figured out.
If leaving is so hard, I can only imagine how seductive the party line can be when one is first coming to it from a vulnerable place.
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Soledad
think the ultimate reason is - being a witness absolves one of a lot of responsibility. Plan for the future - what future? etc. Thoughts?
yes that's exactly what I think. it's really easy to be a witness, to count on the same routines week after week and to stay on the sidelines of "this world." it is an easy way to live.
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FlyingHighNow
My sis claims I'm an apostate for that very reason. I'm taking the easy way out she says.
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bittersweet
I know I stayed a witness for a really long time because for me it was the easiest thing to do. I didn't want to rock the boat. My mom became a witness back in the 70's. We heard all the same stuff, "the world is passing away soon" "don't go to clloege ", blah, blah, blah. I was always jealous that my mom didn't grow up a witness. She was allowed to join after school activities, she could go to her prom, all the things she took away from me. I believe the reason she became a witness was it gave her structure when she was going thru a lot of things with my dad. It told her what was right and what was wrong, she didn't have to figure it out for herself. Obviously a lot of adults become witnesses because they are going thru hard times, and they want to think there's something better in store for them. That's why most [people who are happy in their lives, and jobs, don't become witnesses. That's just my thought though.