My dad just called...

by chrissee 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  chrissee

  good thing his phone was cutting out...he began to talk about why I haven't been to the KH. I said, dad, can't here you, your cell phone is cutting out! Whew, that was a close one. But it's coming. I know it is. And of course my family and I just bought our first Christmas tree yesterday!! Although I could call him on his regular phone, but that's long distance!! I don't want to have to pay twice!! ha ha.

  This will be the first that I've talked to him since August, for my brothers wedding. Any suggestions for heading him off at the pass? I won't go to the KH again, that I am sure of. He's not as good at the guilt-tripping thing as my mother.
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  Purza

  What is it you hope to accomplish by talking to him or not talking to him? Hiding sucks -- I can tell you that honestly. Once my dad thought I was living with my boyfriend he cut me off -- never could get him to talk. Our family has the "ostrich in the sand" quality down pat.

  Would it be easier for you to just tell him how you feel -- just to get it over with?

  Just a thought.

  Purza
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  Mary

  If you don't want a confrontation you could either say you're really busy or someone at your local Hall has stumbled you. You could pretend that you "just don't want to talk about it now"......or you could just say you don't feel like going. Not sure how strong in "the Truth" your parents are, but if you don't want to be shunned, you may want to avoid telling them you've just put up your first Cwistmas twee.
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  kristyann

  My boyfriend basically just told his parents how he felt about JWs and not being one anymore... they were pretty mad but he felt better just coming out and telling them. I know that might be harder for you, because maybe your family is better than his and you don't want to lose all contact with them... but his family consists of such abusive losers that he couldn't really care less. It was easier for him to just outright tell them he would not be going to their Kingdom Hall (or any Kingdom Hall) straight out. Then, last year we went shopping for his first Christmas tree! We actually got a really nice artificial one at Walmart (yes, at Walmart... I am not lying, it looks really good!) But anyway, he was so excited to do all the Christmas stuff for the first time. It was really thrilling. He and I went shopping with my mom and we had this big Christmas tree box and garland and lights in a couple of shopping carts, and we mentioned how funny it would be for them to be in Walmart and see us doing this. So we kind of got kicks out of that... but again, if your family's something worth holding onto, I can see how it would be more difficult for you to outright tell them.
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  jgnat

  Deflection works good for me. "Enough about me, what is going on in YOUR life?"

  You could also work at saying christmastree really, really fast. So you can tell him without him knowing if it you know what I mean?
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  vitty

  I plan to tell my family that im taking a break to sort some stuff out that I found out when I was doing a bit of research. If they ask me what, I dont think ill say about anything too pacific, I plan to take my time with the fading.

  I ve learnt from here that if you reveal too much stuff it can backfire and you get shunned.
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  mrsjones5

  You just bought a christmas tree? In October? Wow!