Since I first posted here, things in my life with the JW's has changed.
My JW Ex and his current wife are still royal pains, and they isolate themselves from the very family that had chosen to not speak or even acknowledge me during our relationship. This, of course in turn isolated my Ex's family from our son while they were living there. They went out of their way (while living with the 'rents) to keep our son away from his grandparents, aunt & cousins until they finally got evicted (yes evicted) from the 'rents house and got their own place.
Since then, the JW family was able to sit down & see things that weren't quite right in their perfect JW world. First thing was that I didn't really have 3 heads and that I really didn't have a problem with my son seeing his grandparents (they were told otherwise). Since then, we've been able to sit down & compare notes and they have discovered so many lies at the hands of my Ex and his current wife. Currently, they don't allow the family to see their new baby either. My Ex has no control over me allowing my son to see his grandparents and boy oh boy does that cause them much grief!!
When my Ex and his wife moved out of his parents house, his sister approached wanting to start things right, be friendly & still be able to see her nephew. Once that was established, the Father came around then the Mother. I've been over at the house, invited for lunch, movies and whatever else. Don't get me wrong, we don't hang out all the time. I live very close to the grandparents so my son does see them frequently, and I don't have a problem with that. They don't speak religion to me or my son and he's never over there alone really. All of the JW exposure my son gets comes from being with his father.
I'm learning first hand that my Ex really is the flaming idiot I thought he was, and so very misguided. His family still blames the wife for everything that has happened, sometimes more than they should, and I've had alot of my "feelings" validated. This past summer the wife actually left my Ex and filed a restraining order against him for domestic violence. His family was actually PLEASED about this, hoping that it meant they'd get their son back. Alas, as expected, she went back to him. Recently found out that she's preggo again, and their son together isn't even a year old yet. I've kept my mouth shut on alot of comments which I could say as respects their dislike for the new wife, I enjoy letting them tell me THEIR thoughts that way nothing comes back to bite me! They do not speak to their son and have made it perfectly clear that they are not welcome back in their house so long as she is still in the picture. I'll grant that she does cause ALOT of problems in my dealings with my Ex so alot of their feelings towards her I feel are warranted.
My relationship with my Ex hasn't changed a bit. He still won't talk to me about our son, still does things with our son and tells me it's not my business and has lost his mind wanting me to keep my son away from his family. I've asked him for a good reason to do that, and he can't come up with anything other than he'd prefer that our son didn't see them. I've told him his problem is between him & his family, not me or our son and I'm not going to be the bad guy. (I have contacted a lawyer for OUR problems and things are looking up there. It's also been told to me from his family that they WILL speak to any judge if asked to support me. SHOCK) This past summer during the restraining order period, I was able to sit down & explain to him why I didn't want my son brought up a JW and I shocked myself. Knowledge is power!! Even he couldn't provide any good reasons why he SHOULD be a JW and I called him on his hypocrascy and his own lack of knowledge. He was amazed that I knew what I knew (thank you forum!!) I saw all the signs I expected, the "uh I don't know I'll have to get back to you" etc. it was quite comical really.
I guess the last couple of months have been so surreal for me, I've been welcomed without religion being brought in (good thing) and able to show a side of me that should have been shown from the beginning. His mother now hugs me after each visit and has come to my house to comment on my choice of paints for walls, etc. I'm closer to his sister, but we don't hang out, just so they can see my son. This past weekend we all took the kids to a movie. Yes, they do the meetings, and the Saturday thing and seem pretty devout, but maybe my impression of them was a little harsh and they aren't as "into" it as they could be? His sister has only tried to give me a magazine once, and I told her thank you. It dropped there. She knows I go to church and she knows that my son is going too. She even told me that her brother was wrong for wanting to "shove this religion" down our sons' throat as both she & he had it done to them and they both left. (and went back). I told her I didn't think any religion should tell one how to think or act and that I was teaching my son to keep an open mind and ask lots of questions. She said that was the right thing to do! I have never set foot in a KH yet, altho I'd like to for my son's sake and only to hear what really goes on so I have better knowledge in my future regarding why I feel my son shouldn't be there. That's going to take alot from me however
Just had to vent...it's just weird for me to have been the "bad guy" for so long and then realize that it wasn't all ME afterall! That and last nite my son's grandfather came over to visit him and my house is all decked out in Halloween decorations!! He didn't even blink. He came in, sat down & visited. My son pointed out every decoration to him and he smiled & nodded. Scary indeed! I do know that blood is thicker than water however, and am always on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop. We'll see!
SK