As a born-in I have always had expectations forced on me, this is what you are to think, feel and do as a Jehovah's Witness. My earliest memories involve being upset that I would die at Armageddon because I was bad. I just never have fit in, even at the tender age of 5.
I'm a born-in too & I can relate to this part very well! As a kid, I had unpleasant thoughts of dying at Armageddon for the stupidest reasons - biting my tongue & accidentally tasting blood, masturbating, watching porn, celebrating my friends' birthdays at school & other festivals, saluting the flag (I was never good at making a stand when it came to stupid things like these), not giving a witness to my non-JW friends & not calling back on RV's in the ministry (bloodguilt!), etc. A religion who can make a young kid feel bloodguilty is a sick religion!
On the positive side, I made it out eventually & so can you also. Congrats on your enlightenment & hope that you can make it out soon together with your family! =)