LG, yes it's a loooong time! 2nd and 3rd generation in an area where we have roots - harder. In the end, I was the one trying to hurry along our fade, but hubby was (for all sorts of understandable reasons) too afraid/cautious to take the next steps. The last years were a tremendous strain on us as a family. Then a set of circumstances presented itself - a hole in the fence, as it were - and I knew it was now or never. So we took a deep breath and ran for it.
Very perplexing for our long-time acquaintances at the cong. The ever-present elephant is ignored by most (apart from 'we miss you'). The one family member who we knew would take it hardest is acclimatizing. I understand the attraction of cutting one's losses and having closure as we still have to be careful and anxiously look over our shoulder at times but, overall, we are much happier, much more relaxed, and for the moment (for as long as possible) we have normal, cordial relationships with JW family.