Thank you for feedback. I do feel a mess. i am currently planning to move temporarily as husband doesnt want to move. And do to work and desire, he will not fully move but says he will visit. He supports me to get away for 4-6 months and in reading what some say here about fading, I felt I need to act carefully. I dont want kh looking for me when i come back to visit or live.
i am only concerned about pleasing Jehovah, Jesus and my family And my study. My youngest is very concerned and all my kids want to go to meetings But do see the unequal treatment that member display toward my study versus us.....invite her out but not us, call and text her and invite her to parties and gatherongs, but not us.
I have only just started to talk to them a bit. I need to take baby steps and very carefully.
if i have to come back and if i have not had my cards sent to a new hall, they will still be looking for me when i come back. Why do i care? I guess it sounds easier than a confrontation and do to fact I have been very active and visible, I think a sudden change would obviously predicate some move on their part. They've already started coming by my house and trying to get to my door unexpectedly but my gate was chained. I have heard a local needs that sounded eerily like it was directed toward me....critical of certain kinds of service as currently i havent been d2d but still have bs that im transitioning to other member.
if i do nothing, i feel id be hounded and a hypocrit. Furthermore, the intense judging I feel I have experienced would be amped up And I'm already unhealthy. I dont think it would help me a bit to ramp up pressure on myself or family when im already cracking.
