Posts by MissFit

27

I put the kingdom first! Now look what happened...

by Julia Orwell in

i put the kingdom first - by sheree stokell.

so they dunked me in a pool.

armageddon would be here soon.

MissFit

Julia: I love the beginning of your story. I cant wait for more.

43

How old were you when baptized?

by Coded Logic in

i was baptized at the age of 11. like most of us, my commitment wasnt to honor god but rather i was gang pressed into the service of the wtbts.

and, at such a young age, it was impossible for me to appreciate the enormity of my actions.

honestly, how could i possibly have known any better?

MissFit

I was 12. I did it to please my JW foster parents. He was an elder. We were running late on my baptism day. I barely got there in time for the 3 questions.

I found out a year later my foster dad was molesting my sisters.

Now as an adult , I realize that I was too young. I thought I was the exception. I am stunned at how young some of you were.

I have never agreed with the org. about letting kids get baptized so young.

None of my kids were baptized.

27

I put the kingdom first! Now look what happened...

by Julia Orwell in

i put the kingdom first - by sheree stokell.

so they dunked me in a pool.

armageddon would be here soon.

MissFit

Julia, she's 87 years old. If she wakes up it will be on her death bed. She converted when She was in her 30s. The "Truth" is all she has left. None her kids except me will talk to her.

Thanks for that poem. You summed up a JWs life eloquently.

Miss.Fit

27

I put the kingdom first! Now look what happened...

by Julia Orwell in

i put the kingdom first - by sheree stokell.

so they dunked me in a pool.

armageddon would be here soon.

MissFit

I like those images. Thank you.

I could feel your pain through your poem.

It made my heart hurt.

I thought of my mom alone, alienated from most of her family, still clinging to the hope of paradise. Of the new order fixing everything.

How she secretly hopes my non jw sisters will maybe die before the big A so she can straighten everything out in paradise.

Her plan b is to adopt some motherless child in paradise and start over.*sigh*

So depressing.

40

Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains...

by MissFit in

hi everyone.. i just realized that it has been over a year since i discovered this site and started to recognize i was shackled by invisible chains.

i am still in the process of chipping away on those chains.. i posted on another thread how these threads here are like little time capsules.

the moment, the emotions, the attitudes are all there frozen.. .

MissFit

I just got through talking to my JW mom today. She is 87 and in assisted living in Washington state.

Clear across the country from me. We have a complicated relationship but I am the only daughter who still speaks to her. She is holding fast to her hope that Armageddon will come soon and fix things.

My oldest sister was in the hospital in Arizona. We are not close. I heard the news from my niece who heard it from her brother. All the information I got was third hand.

My mom calls me up in a panic. She is so far away and has no extra money to go to my sister. Plus they really aren't speaking to each other. ( sister is not df , but is not in. has lots of issues with mom. Hasn't talked to her in over a year.)

So mom wanted me to keep her informed about sis' s condition.

I told her I wasn't in direct contact but if sis was at death's door I would tell her and arrange for her to come down.

So this got me to thinking about those who are shunned or have family that is shunned.

I am not dfd. But my family is shunning eachother volunteerly because of personal issues. I am so numb I am not even offended that my nephew or sister did not call me personally. My nephew is dfd but we never shunned him because of that.

My little sister had shunned him for being a jerk and threatening her family.

I gave my number to my niece to give to my nephew so he could call me. He never did. My sister did not call after she was released. I do not have their phone numbers to call them.

I feel helpless. And sad. I have always been there for her if she needed me.she has shut everyone except for her son out of her life. In a way she is shunning me because I was a JW. Irony.

She has always felt like we judged her. I never did. I was sorta afraid of her. She is 5 yrs older than me but very tough. And scary when she gets mad. I learned that as long as she was yelling I was safe. But if she got quiet and started talking in a low slow voice, I knew to slowly back away, keep my mouth shut and get the heck away. No sudden moves. Because she was barely holding on to her temper and one wrong move could set her off.

That was a while ago. I think being around us turns her into a person she doesnt like and doesn't want to be. It brings up to many memories. So she has cut us off.

I just hope the next time I see her will not be looking down at her in a coffin.

I really do not know how to go about reconnecting with her. I tried texting her last year and she blew me off with a terse reply. I told her I was here if she ever needed me.

I guess she doesnt.

The thing is I know now this life is all we have. No do overs in paradise if she dies.

I do love her. It pains me to think she doesnt know that.

Sorry. I just had to get this off my chest.

Just more reflections.

Miss.Fit

29

It's my birthday today

by Bruja-del-Sol in

jw
friends

... but most of my new (post jw) friends either don't know my birth date (if people don't specifically ask i won't tell them), or they are 2500 kilometers away in the netherlands... so all that's left to celebrate with me are my hubby, the two doggies, cat and my two rabbits... mixed feelings, i miss my friends and family around and haven't found friends in spain yet.

luckily our daughter will visit us the end of the month... and yesterday we've found a new rental house and we're moving into it next month already!

i'm thrilled and really looking forward to it, then we will finally be able to let all the rest of our belongings come to spain (2/3 of our stuff is stored in the netherlands).. so with this in mind, i'll just say 'happy birthday to me' and will enjoy my third birthday in espana .

MissFit

🎉🎂🎁🎈🎆🎆 Happy Birthday!!! Sending happy thoughts your way.

27

I put the kingdom first! Now look what happened...

by Julia Orwell in

i put the kingdom first - by sheree stokell.

so they dunked me in a pool.

armageddon would be here soon.

MissFit

Okay, now I'm totally depressed. That could be referring to my mom. Except for the hearse part. She's not quite there yet.

Can you find a poem about being free?

40

Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains...

by MissFit in

hi everyone.. i just realized that it has been over a year since i discovered this site and started to recognize i was shackled by invisible chains.

i am still in the process of chipping away on those chains.. i posted on another thread how these threads here are like little time capsules.

the moment, the emotions, the attitudes are all there frozen.. .

MissFit

Bttt.

39

The frustration of talking to a person with a closed mind

by TheStumbler in

okay, this is going to be a bit of a general rant.

i had a long conversation with a jw elder recently about shunning and evolution.

i became qunite frustrated with the conversation and admitted this at the time.

MissFit

I just wanted to say , you never know when something will stick. I like the things you never said.

Maybe next time you can use one of those points. Point out that he just changed the subject orb redifined a word.

My daughter did that to me when we were discussing evolution after a convention part.

I thought I knew what i was talking about.

I was repeating what was taught.

She lookedv at me and said mom I don't think you realize how old the earth is. She went on to

show me some articles. But she would back off when she saw I was getting defensive or not really listening to her.

Now I am more opened minded and we have very interesting conversations.

Dont give up.

40

Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains...

by MissFit in

hi everyone.. i just realized that it has been over a year since i discovered this site and started to recognize i was shackled by invisible chains.

i am still in the process of chipping away on those chains.. i posted on another thread how these threads here are like little time capsules.

the moment, the emotions, the attitudes are all there frozen.. .

MissFit

Hi everyone.

I am sitting here not sleeping.

I am still reflecting on this last year.

Around this time last year I was at a very dark place.

I scared myself. I was entertaining suicidal thoughts. Sure occasionally, I would think it wouldn't matter to anyone if I just disappeared one day. But then I started to seriously consider my death.

I remember feeling so bereft and hopeless. I started reaching out to my family as a way to say goodbye.

I didnt see the point of living any more. My family seemed fine without me.

I just started posting a couple of months on this site.

I was feeling so isolated but I felt a connection to many on this site.

I read of others experiencing some of the same feelings as I was.

In desperation, in the middle of my despair and fear, I reached out to this community.

I recieved such an out pouring of support and encouragement and useful advice.

I sit here tonite thinking about that time and feeling such a burst of gratitude to everyone here.

I really think you saved my life.

Thank you.