Sending you hugs. I have experienced much of what you have, although I was never a baptism witness. My husband met and married when he was inactive. We've been together almost 15 years.
A couple years ago he went back in full on. I started going with him, and proceeded to unbaptized publisher. I always thought of jws as an eccentric brand of christian...I didn't know all the "rules" special so to speak.
There were many strange things that rubbed me wrong...such as the talk about worldly people, independent thinking, etc. The way they would "answer" questions s from a watcower by repeating the words in the paragraph and then everyone coming up to them telling them how wonderful the answer was...just weird, but nice people.
I was going to have major surgery last year, and I was nearly harassed by the whole blood thing. Major red flags. I actually assigned my sister to be my poa after that to ensure I would get blood if I needed it. Then I started doing research, tons of it, even buying old watchtower pubs and such. And I discovered Candice conti. And then the fact there are numerous child sex abuse cases and more.
I started to ask questions and my husband got pissed...just over questions!!! Also, the sister I was studying with disappeared after I asked about the blood policy. The elders talked to my husband about why I was asking questions. I was like wtf. Then my husband started getting upset when I hung out with my non jw friends...even going as far as telling me they weren't my friends.
He then threw away my CoC book saying that it would bring demons in the house. I put my foot down then and told him no more, I was done. No more meetings, studies, etc. He shunned me for weeks.
He them told me he had never thought he would marry a nonwitness, that he always pictured himself with a faithful witness woman, etc.
I finally asked him to move out. I was done. He did not want to leave, said he would not behave that way anymore, and now we just don't talk about it.
But I am left wondering if he just doesn't want a divorce due to his beliefs. I am not sure how long this marriage will last.
I am sorry this was so long-winded, I just wanted you to know that I do understand the type of crazy you are dealing with. Sending you hugs, hang in there and do what you need to do for your sanity.