Dis-Member: Is this the right place to ask a question?
No, I'm just curating the Q&A's into one thread here - on Reddit it is currently spread out over eight threads - the latest one is here: e: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/71g0ly
Firstly
FYI unfortunately is appears that Askmeaboutmy_Beergut - who grew up as a JW in East Texas Piney Woods and went as a rank-and-file publisher to preach in Guatemala in the mid-1990s and who started to write about his own experiences - has now deleted and stopped his postings.
More answers....
You mention a JW judicial commite is unfair... If the WatchTower is judging a JW such as happens in a trial don't you think a JW being under trial has a right to have some type of lawyer/attorney right next to him/her...
Of course they have a right to hate an attorney.
But the whole judicial committee process should not exist. Judging someone on whether they are sorry? Who decides that? I always tried to help those who had committed "sins." I rarely disfellowshipped anyone. But I was still wrong. The system is wrong. Anyone who judges someone else like that is automatically a hypocrite.
It really is amazing to me how some people will commit the most "serious" sins, even while remaining a CO, DO, or elder, while you have some r&f publishers who are suicidal over looking at porn or masturbating. That really shows the depth of how genuine people are I believe. At the same time, it's all unneeded stress now that we are looking from the outside in... It's just the WTS literally puts so many rules/stipulations on "normal" behavior that it's impossible not to be a hypocrite at some point. If you followed everything perfectly, you would literally have to be a mindless robot.bot.
Thank you for your nice comments, I'm still trying to find my way, especially for my children.
Whether the percentage of those "sinning" is higher or lower among appointed men I don't know. Who knows.
What I do know is that the fact that someone is appointed elder, MS, pioneer or CO doesn't mean anything.
Some I am sure are extremely careful with their conduct in public and in private, in every way. And some aren't.
I know the thought of losing my position was what stopped me many times from committing "major" sins. I would imagine some appointed men are careful just because they don't want to be found out.
The issue I think is that we ASSUME that because someone is appointed that they don't commit those sins, and that just isn't true.
What it's like to be a Circuit Overseer - Part 5
Saturday
I would go in early morning street witnessing. I know CO's didn't normally do that but I was so competitive I even tried to outdo other CO's by being more "zealous." What a joke. Anyway, I would show up at 6:30 am to street witnessing. The pioneers loved it when I would show up. I would make another brother take the lead because it wasn't a normally scheduled field service meeting with the CO. I would say "Hey, I'm a pioneer also."
Then we would have the regular meeting for service. Saturday was Magazine Day, remember those Saturdays? It seemed like sales to me, even when I was a kid, probably because it was sales.
In my assignment no one read the magazines, not even most of the elders and no, not even me. I just skimmed them. I used to read them because I got a subscription in English. Then I got lazy and stopped reading the Awake. And eventually I stopped reading the other articles in the Watchtower. I just checked over the study articles. I don't think anyone in the missionary home was reading the magazines except for one single missionary sister who had been there for 35 years. Of course we had our weekly Watchtower study on Monday morning, but other than that no one in the missionary home talked about the magazines, unless there was a first-person article and they knew that person. And the householders didn't read the magazines either for the most part. I mean, who is reading the Watchtower other than a few die-hard witnesses?
Saturday afternoon I would do a shepherding call maybe then head back to the missionary home. I would type my report. That's about it. Saturday nights were lonely. Sometimes there would be a party at the congregation I was serving. I would always attend that. I would stand around talking to the elders who usually looked nervous due to the music and dancing, there was always dancing. I could tell they were worried I would counsel them. The CO's there continuously counseled the friends in their talks about their music. Anyway I would stand around for awhile and then ask one of the single sisters to dance. It was funny. The elders would be shocked. I was the dancing CO who couldn't really dance. Some of the elders liked me but a lot didn't. They did complain about me to the Branch sometimes. They wanted the stern, strict CO that they usually got. They didn't like the missionary CO who joked around and danced.
The Branch liked me though. I was eccentric and I ran afoul of the rules sometimes but I worked hard and they knew it and they liked my work ethic. They knew about my dancing and my always talking to girls but I never really gave them serious trouble. They trusted me. As a result I received a lot of convention assignments and assignments in general. I was sent to other circuits to help solve problems. I was sent to the RBC to help speed things up, I was assigned convention dramas and convention chairman. There was another big project I was assigned to, but revealing that may blow my cover. Anyway, the reason they did that was because they knew I wouldn't take time off from service to organize and rehearse the drama or do any other project. I know now looking back I was part of a cult, but boy did I think I was serving God and wow did I work hard. I never missed a full day in 7 1/2 years in the circuit work. I often worked on projects until 2 or 3 am then up at 6:30 to get ready for preaching. I could have done some real humanitarian work as a young man had I not been part of a cult, I really worked hard. But all I did was damage. It's sad.
What it's like to be a Circuit Overseer - Part 6
But back to Saturdays. Over the years stories had gotten around about my playing soccer with the neighborhood kids while preaching in the territory, and my presentation in which I would invite people to be a "member of our church." The householders didn't mind that presentation in that country, they liked it. The elders hated me though for not following the Kingdom Ministry presentations. Plus I would give the kids money if they could catch an iguana in service and I would take it back to the missionary home for the garden. Word got around about that too. The big houses in the territory had metal doors and garage doors and side doors back doors and I would knock on all of them. The friends would whisper to each other that I still didn't know where the front doors were and I would feign ignorance. I would stop and try to make tortillas with the women in the street cooking them. Anything to try and make my life more meaningful and I liked to make people laugh as well.
And I tried to do what I thought was the right thing. Once when I was serving a rural congregation a woman who was a new bible study drowned. She had a seizure while doing laundry in a river. She had still attended her church even though she was "studying" with the witnesses. So after my Public talk I made the entire congregation of 40 publishers go to her church to pay our respects. All of us. We all went inside the church. I told them beforehand, no preaching. Just compassion. The pastor was shocked to see all of us and was very gracious. A week later the closet alcoholic DO made some negative comment to me about it but the Branch coordinator liked that I did that.
Oh yes, back to Saturdays. The nice District Overseer once told me, "You know if you weren't the CO you would be disfellowshipped because of the crazy things you do." He was joking, kind of. But he had heard about the iguanas and my odd presentations and the parties and how I would ask for meanings of Spanish words from the audience while giving my talks. He was cool though. He did always encouraged me to just hurry up and marry someone instead of continually "shopping." We served together four or five times a year and we got to be pretty good friends and on Saturdays when we were both serving a congregation we would work together in service and compete who could place more magazines. His wife was mortified and would tell us at lunch that first of all we are supposed to preach with the friends, not with each other, and especially not compete with each other. He told her that he was counseling me and that was his job to do that. She asked him what counsel, all she saw was us laughing and joking around. How does this look to the friends that the CO and DO are competing? She said I would be the cause of his removal one day. Her pretending to be mad was a riot. So I do have some fun memories.
But still, the fun was few and far between. Most days were repetitive and dreary. My clothes were caked with sweat and dirt, it ruined my seats in my car, I could hardly get my sticky, yucky clothes off when I got back to the missionary home every day. My brain felt fried due to over- repetition of the same stuff. I just felt like I couldn't think. And a few funny stories can't compete with years and years of drudgery. They still make me laugh though. I guess we are resilient and we try to look for the positive in any situation. How I wish I could have done some real good down there.
Every week was the same. I could hardly wait for the week to be over.
That's Saturday.
I'm sure many of the things you did would be extremely frowned upon even now. I can't imagine a CO inviting even a few elders to go to another church for a funeral. You really have a heart a good. Imagine if Jws now were more gracious and christ-like like you, stead of stigmatizing everyone as worldy and poison. There is just no way this could be God's organization with the way it is now. Everything can't be black and white, but for JWs it all is. There is no gray area.
We didn't go for the actual service. We went after to pay our respects. It was very well received in the community but of course the DO asked me if it was "wise" to tell all the friends to go into a church.
Questioner replied: I see now. I can imagine doing this here in the states and how much grief you will get. Regardless, you did the right thing.