I only woke up to TTATT within the last 2 years.
The first year is the greatest emotional rollercoaster ride possible.
You need to realize the harsh reality that WT / JW is A CULT - plain and simple.
I initially found that impossible - I thought it was only the elders here and the elders there. If only the CO knew or if only the branch knew or if only the GB knew. Not the way it is - cults are run from the top down, and that includes the elders.
Why then do people stay? Read this post, and the link to the full page at the top.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/41bdge/why_i_am_going_back/cz13u7i
The mental and emotional damage takes its toll.
Read through the effects that you and we are experiencing / have experienced.
http://www.exitingthejwcult.com/p/if-you-are-going-to-see-mental-health.html
That page is written by a psychotherapist who is probably one of the most qualified persons to write about this group and the effects on its followers.
Bonnie's book is a MUST-READ for all fading, doubting, and ex-JW's. (Kindle available.)
http://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132
YOU CANNOT (at this point) TRUST YOUR WIFE.
PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS.
You do not need to treat her as an enemy, or stop showing her love (actually, start showing her more) but the cult-influence is all-powerful.
Please stick around. You have a lot going on, and a lot more to deal with.
Stick around - I'll add my two cents (don't know what Brits' expression is) in further posts.