Posts by OneEyedJoe

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

OneEyedJoe

Just spit-balling here, I hope the women don't take offense at any of this...

Another factor at play could potentially be that women are more likely to leave at a younger age if they're going to leave at all. If they leave before getting married it's entirely possible that women could be leaving at a higher rate, while married men are leaving at a higher rate than married women. This would also have the effect of leaving more indoctrinated women in the cult as the ones getting married, which would lead you to expect that married men would be more likely to wake up first.

There's also (reportedly) a surplus of women in the cult, which could lead them to be more likely to look for a mate outside the cult, in which case they would likely leave but would not really have a place in this poll since their husband would never have been in the cult.

There's a ton of factors at play here.

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

OneEyedJoe

Ok I'm just going to say it. I cannot believe men are still churning out the bullshit about they are more rational and women are more emotional. Don't you remember where you learnt this bullshit? You think you are free of WTS teachings?

I didn't learn that from the cult...It's indisputable that men and women are wired a bit differently. I don't remember the source, but I've read a study that demonstrated that women, for instance, demonstrate a much greater ability to multitask, both physically and mentally. Men tend to think about one thing at a time, and compartmentalize a little more, which lends itself to a greater separation between reason and emotion. I'm sure there's also some cultural influence on this as well, but our brains are physically different. That's not to say that women can't reason and all men are emotionless, the difference is much more subtle than that. It's probably trivial to find two women or two men that differ to a greater extent than the average difference caused by gender, but we're talking about trends and averages here.

I also don't think anyone here was making an evaluation that one way was necessarily better in general than the other.

That said, if you have any information that contradicts that, I'd love to see it. I never like to spend any more time being wrong than I have to.

Edit:

It is not about emotional vs. rational, rather about the ability to incorporate emotion into rational decision making

This is well put and the point that I was initially trying to drive at.

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

OneEyedJoe

DB - I'm not sure you read the OP....

Another husband first here. In my case I'm sure it's because of a number of aspects of my personality, some of which are likely due to my gender. I'm not very social, and I'm more confident in my ability to think for myself than my wife, both of which make leaving easier. I'm also an INTJ (personality that is least likely to believe in god(s) and also has a higher incidence in males.).

Women tend to think a little more emotionally, and since cults rely heavily on emotional manipulation, this may be a disadvantage. On the other hand, that may just change how they wake up, since there's certainly plenty of emotional abuse in the cult. In some places women are also more likely to be under socialized since they may be less likely to work or they stay home and take care of the kids, etc whereas men may have more of a social structure at work. This could certainly lead to a higher dependence on the cult and therefore make it less likely that they'd be willing to leave.

All of these factors are by no means universal and probably only make incremental impact on the likelyhood of leaving though, and I don't think the difference between men and women leaving is necessarily huge. An informal poll here may also be somewhat skewed, since it seems like men are more likely to take to internet forums than women (at least I'm assuming that's the case based solely on the leg humping that always occurs on forums when it is discovered that a poster is a woman)

43

2034 is going to be a huge letdown for the dubs

by wha happened? in

i've seen a few postings of a possible "next date" for dubs of 2034. based on an article they published comparing the last days to the days of noah.

preaching for 120 years.

however, i noticed a little tidbit from wiki about age:.

OneEyedJoe

Haha thanks. I've been around for a while, but it's always nice to know I'm still welcome

43

2034 is going to be a huge letdown for the dubs

by wha happened? in

i've seen a few postings of a possible "next date" for dubs of 2034. based on an article they published comparing the last days to the days of noah.

preaching for 120 years.

however, i noticed a little tidbit from wiki about age:.

OneEyedJoe

Ehh, maybe not so much.
Lot of people said that about 2014, after all.

Well it may not be significant to everyone else, but I'm here partially because of 2014 rolling around...

34

Pick your belief system

by Giordano in

i think we've all noticed a ton of newbe's these past months.

one part of escaping or thinking about escaping the jw's is coming to terms with what you believe now and/or what direction you are leaning towards.. here is a site that has a quick quiz that may be of some worth or just for fun.

i took it when i first signed on here and the results surprised me because it was pretty accurate.. you don't have to sign up for anything and when you finish you will get a percentage answer on 20 major belief systems.

OneEyedJoe

100% secular humanist (though this is still a fairly broad group)

0% JW!

24

New Marriage Arrangement Rumor?

by Thoughtless in

jw
friends

so, i haven't lurked here in a long while however, i have been checking up more frequently and i saw that there is a rumor going around about getting barred from marriage if the brother not appointed by the time he is 23. is that true?

if it is, i am so screwed haha.

proud fader present within college.

OneEyedJoe

I strongly doubt that it's going to be a rule as such, but in the US zone visit, AM3 said that a sister married a guy that was 23 and not an ms and she "payed for that won decision"

In the end, it probably won't change much of anything. The girls that are so super dub that they'd obey that bs rule would only want to marry an ms anyway. If anything it's probably just going to help save a few men from marrying the super cultist women, so he's really doing them a favor.

12

God was the cause of the evil

by opusdei1972 in

bart ehrman noticed, in his book "god's problem", the fact that god was responsible for job's pain.

to show it, bart quoted the following verse:.

and they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the lord had brought upon him.

OneEyedJoe

If I believed in all that nonsense, I'd just say that the story was written from the perspective of the comforters, which believed that it was god that caused Job's suffering. The reality was that they were wrong, and it was all satan's fault.

43

2034 is going to be a huge letdown for the dubs

by wha happened? in

i've seen a few postings of a possible "next date" for dubs of 2034. based on an article they published comparing the last days to the days of noah.

preaching for 120 years.

however, i noticed a little tidbit from wiki about age:.

OneEyedJoe

They would need to drop the "overlapping generation" teaching before they replace it with the Noah's flood generation.

I don't think so...they're all about "multiple lines of evidence" that point to the inexorable conclusion that the end of this system is going to come before xyz.

I do tend to agree on your second point - I think they almost need to have another great disappointment ala 1914 or 1975. That would allow them to shed the dead weight, monetize the newly empty KHs, and anyone who's currently on the fence but decides to stick around would have no choice but to double-down. I think the 1975 fiasco is a large part of why the current generation of JWs is so much more complacent than the previous one that lived through 1975. In order to stick around after they were exposed as false prophets, they had to really internalize the doctrine and convince themselves that they were more sure than ever before. Today's generation is able to just float along because they haven't made nearly as bold a (false) prediction since.

36

Devouring the Forbidden Fruit - Higher Education

by cappytan in

jw
friends

well, i told my wife over the weekend i was going to go back school to finish my degree.

she is 100% supportive of it!

apparently she doesn't think higher education is so evil either.. since my former major was computer programming and that was in the late 1990's, i was told i'd have to retake a bunch of classes since times have changed.

OneEyedJoe

I actually am not going to be shy about it. I'm going to mention in casual conversation things like, "The other day in _____ class we were discussing _________ and an interesting point was brought out."
I can't wait for my privileges to be taken away.

Considering that you're studying biology, I think it's inevitable that your privileges go away. Just mention evolution to an elder or two and that'll be that.

It might also help you casually bring up evolution with your wife, but with all the progress you've been making with her lately, she might be mentally out before you start classes.