Celia,
I never thought of them as salesmen. I just thought they were right and I was wrong. I did not agree with them on somethings, but I thought that I did not fully understand. You all at this board have been so insightful. I have learned much. I just don't know what to do with what I have learned.
Then I do fear, what if they are right, did I doom my chilren to death? But if they are the false profits, I have saved them. I am kinda stuck right now. Cannot go forward, can't go back. Stuck is the only word I have. Any advice is appreciated.
My Mother became a witness when I was 15. She started taking me to the meetings when I was 14. I stopped going when I ws 18 and moved out. My father became ill, and I became a single parent. So I moved home, they watched the kids, and I worked. After my Dad passed, it was now just my mom, the kids, and myself. I started wondering about their life. Se we all started to go to the meetings with my mother. I know I can never be a witness. I know I cannot do what is required to be baptized. But I want my boys right in God's eyes. I stopped going to the meetings, and after their last study, I cancelled thier's. I guess after this, I really started to read some of the litature with a keener eye so to speak. And there was a lot of sex relations in it. Which took me for a loop. I never noticed it before. If they are God's mouth peice, does he really think about it that much? And I have one more question. I know it is not what this topic started as, but Why are they God's mouthpeice? Who chose them? Did God? Or is that just what every church says, and they have taking it farther?