The husband in your situation could sit in on the judicial meeting and cause it to be less graphic (if at all).
My OP refers to a real actual situation. The husband was not a JW, so no input was sought from him. He was actually furious at what he perceived to be an outright intrusion into his private life and begged his wife not to attend. She was convinced that she would be disfellowshipped if she didn't attend. So she did. Her attendance didn't help matters between them at all.