Posts by FeelingFree

36

Elders, apostasy and disfellowshipping issue's - thoughts please

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

ok so... when i was talking to my mil about why i no longer wanted to be a witness she kept trying to convience me that i needed to speak to the elders.

i said from the word go i didn't feel the need to as my mind was already made up and no one could change it.

i also said if the elders new all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and i would get disfellowshipped.

FeelingFree

Thanks AlwaysBusy and phizzy, I have no plans too but if it comes to it (not my doing but others) I guess I dont get much choice in the matter! Sorry to be nosey but why do you recommend not getting df'd? Is it family reason's, not playing into their hands? I know it will cause a fair bit of grief for us but the rest of my family dont go and one of my husbands brothers doesn't either so we wont be totally alone so to speak.

I have mentioned to one of my friends that we are no longer attending meetings and though she was very nice and lovely she immeadiatly said we couldn't have the same relationship we do now, so basically we cant be friends but she wont ignore me because I haven't acutally done anything to warrent that....yet! I'm not sure where that leave's us on the relationship scale really anyway! I was expecting it of course but thought it was quite brutal and to be honest if everyone is going to be like that I dont see what difference it would make to me if we did get df'd?

How do you avoid elders? Just not answer the door if they come round or can you actually tell them you dont want to see them?

35

The Blatant SEXISM of Watchtower!

by Island Man in

from my yahoo answers question here: .

"the bible says of deborah: "now deborah, a prophetess, the wife of lappidoth, was judging israel at that time.

5 she used to sit under the palm tree of deborah between ramah and bethel in the hill country of ephraim; and the sons of israel came up to her for judgment.

FeelingFree

Argh! It makes me MAD!

You have to remember that women have significantly smaller brains than a man, according to bro Heard of the GB. Never could they do the job of a man.......

36

Elders, apostasy and disfellowshipping issue's - thoughts please

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

ok so... when i was talking to my mil about why i no longer wanted to be a witness she kept trying to convience me that i needed to speak to the elders.

i said from the word go i didn't feel the need to as my mind was already made up and no one could change it.

i also said if the elders new all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and i would get disfellowshipped.

FeelingFree

Ok so... when I was talking to my MIL about why I no longer wanted to be a witness she kept trying to convience me that I needed to speak to the elders. I said from the word go I didn't feel the need to as my mind was already made up and no one could change it. I also said if the elders knew all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and I would get disfellowshipped. Her reaction to this was that I was very judgmental and of course they wouldn't think that at all! I however feel differently after having been shown some experience's by my husband of similar situations.

I went to see my dad who has been "re-activated" the past few years after several years of just not going. I told him the same thing and he thought I was being silly and they would never do that.

Lately the elders have been umm... "very caring" and we are being a bit love bombed by everyone. However still haven't spoken to anyone about what's actually going on and really have no plans too, as I said before nothing can change our minds now we know what we know. Which is something I think people fail to understand, it's like my brain has been totally rewired and I don't think I could go back even if I wanted to.

Now the thing is an elder just happened to "pop" round yesterday (also he phoned in the week such love) anyway I just let my husband deal with it as I was the one who had to deal with the phone call. On both occasion's he spoke about coming round and doing a shepherding call (we only had one 3 months ago and pretended everything was fine). As it stands I see no reason to talk to them and we will decline their offer.

However I in a sick way am interested in knowing what would happen if I did tell them exactly how I felt. Also if they did disfellowship me/us I wonder how that would affect my MIL and dad especially as they are adamant it wouldn't happen. Maybe it would show them that things aren't how they seem in the org or maybe it would just do nothing and they would just go along with it all and shun us (though I'm 99% sure my dad wont and I know that MIL was chatting with her friends disfellowshiped sons when she went to visit the family).

35

JW's and depression

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

i was wondering how many of you suffered badly with depression when you were in "the truth" and if you feel your depression was related to being part of the organisation?

are you better now you have left or still have issue's?

whatever your experience's i would be very intrested to know (if you feel you can talk about it.).

FeelingFree

Darth Fader- I had forgotten about all these weird illnesess JW's suffer from and your right it is in the majority, women who suffer with them. I had never heard of fibromyalgia until one of my friends said she had been diagnosed with it. Still dont quite get what it is either! It almost seems to me that the people who have these illnesses wallow in it and sort of enjoy having an illness and have no interest in getting better. I sound so judgmental but this is just what I have observed from several people. Also seem to really love telling people they have them and the simpathy it elicits. I wonder if its some way of wrestling back some control over a aspect of their life and themselves?

58

Apple Cider Vinegar

by poppers in

i've been drinking 1 tbs with a glass of water twice daily for digestion for about 3 weeks now.

i've found it helps, but it also acts as an appetite suppressant; i've lost several pounds since using it.

i'm consuming fewer calories because i'm just not as hungry as before.

FeelingFree

I have acid reflux a lot, much worse when I'm stressed like right now but am also pregnant so it's extra bad. Will try anything! Thanks for the tips :)

58

Apple Cider Vinegar

by poppers in

i've been drinking 1 tbs with a glass of water twice daily for digestion for about 3 weeks now.

i've found it helps, but it also acts as an appetite suppressant; i've lost several pounds since using it.

i'm consuming fewer calories because i'm just not as hungry as before.

FeelingFree

So if I wanted to get rid of my acud reflux how would I take it and how often?

28

is it possible to raise good kids with out religious morals?

by Princess Ashe in

making up my mind on how to teach my son values in life seems to be an on going struggle of what is right and wrong.

being raised in a sheltered jw life until after leaving high school seems like going from one extreme to another of being over restrictive or under.

trying to find that balance.

FeelingFree

My little sister was about 11 when my parents actively stopped being witnessess. She had very limited knowledge of anything JW related as they had been sporadic for several years.

I have to say her friends all through secondary school would of put a lot witnessess to shame. They were good students, didn't under age drink, do drugs or have sex and very rarely sweared. They were/are a lovely bunch of girls even now they are in their early 20's. I think there are plenty of parents out there that manage to instill great moral's and produce well behaved, great kids.

I think you just have to go with your gut feelings about things and as long as you remain consitant in what you feel is right or wrong you can't possibly do a bad job.

I understand where you are coming from as a mother myself, all we can do is what we think is best for our children. You know at the end of the day they will always find fault in their upbringing no matter what you do! lol x

35

JW's and depression

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

i was wondering how many of you suffered badly with depression when you were in "the truth" and if you feel your depression was related to being part of the organisation?

are you better now you have left or still have issue's?

whatever your experience's i would be very intrested to know (if you feel you can talk about it.).

FeelingFree

Thank you so much for all your comments. Im so glad you are all doing a lot better now!

The thing with being a born in is that your will never know what could of been and what your life might of been like without the influence of the org or the people in it. The aspect of not knowing I find can be frustrating but I'm trying very hard to not dwell on what could of been or blame my family for their decisions as that is not healthy. Also I have to learn to take responsibility for my decision to stay in all these years when several times I could have broken free but for some reason felt I couldn't.

love2Bwordly I think I do agree that mental health problems can be hereditary. My brother and my cousin both have very similar problems and that sure cant be put down to learned behaviour or circumstances as they didn't grow up together.

Think letting go of all negativity and realising you are good enough is key to aiding recovery.

35

JW's and depression

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

i was wondering how many of you suffered badly with depression when you were in "the truth" and if you feel your depression was related to being part of the organisation?

are you better now you have left or still have issue's?

whatever your experience's i would be very intrested to know (if you feel you can talk about it.).

FeelingFree

I do think the whole doom and gloom dieing at armageddon, not ever being able to do enough and what you are doing isn't good enough blah blah is extremely negative and can't be good for anyones mental well being!

35

JW's and depression

by FeelingFree in

jw
friends

i was wondering how many of you suffered badly with depression when you were in "the truth" and if you feel your depression was related to being part of the organisation?

are you better now you have left or still have issue's?

whatever your experience's i would be very intrested to know (if you feel you can talk about it.).

FeelingFree

a watcher - Im really pleased for you, living with depression is horrible and I'm glad you have managed to break that cycle. I guess it can swing both ways can't it and I understand how being a witness can help that. I wish you all the best :)

Sometimes though I think it's different for born in's than one who has actively decided to study and they learning all about it for the first time. I can't speak for all born in's but I think the sense of wonder that a new study/baptised person has is not there for someone who has known about it their whole life.