So I'm loving the fact that my little one gets to be a "normal" child and take part in everything at school. However I still have that stupid niggling in the back of my head that she shouldn't be doing it and it's wrong etc.
At the moment she is rehearsing for the nativity play and keeps singing the songs at home (she is going to be an angel!) I was really pleased to start off with but for some reason it made me feel weird and sick this morning. It's not because I still believe JW teachings or anything, in fact I hate all things JW!
What's strange is I was never a super dub either and always had issues so I really don't understand why this is. She keeps singing about baby Jesus and "don't you know we love you, please don't cry" so maybe I have a stupid fear of her becoming religious or something.
I don't know....... I just wish I could get it all out of my head, I obviously haven't moved on as much as I would like. Plus I still come on this site to read pretty much every single day. I would love to not care enough and to be totally free but I guess that never really happens when your not d/a, d/f'd and you have family still in. I'm too nervous to put any crimbo decorations up for fear of what will happen and I absolutely HATE feeling like this.
I know it's all the mind and in reality I can do whatever I like but these barriers are getting me down.
Stupid f#*#ing cult.