Alive!

Joined

• started 7 topics
• posted 650 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Alive!

• 
  91

  Setback

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

  i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

  then she decided she would attend the memorial.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Hi Eden One

  Am new here - just wanted to send heartfelt support and acknowledgement of your painful circumstances.

  You have wonderful support here from so many folk who have shared on the forum. May it strengthen you and soften the hurt.
• 
  48

  How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

  start the count here with my wife and i.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Lois, a gentle hug from me to you X
• 
  36

  How do stop myself getting too Bitter?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.

  i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.

  i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  I agree that justifiable anger is a very natural and healthy response to false religion and spiritual abuse.

  I'm not bitter...but am feeling tired and I definitely have hit a deeper level of grieving. It's been a wild journey "out" over 3 years or longer...

  Stuckinarut - you take care. Wise words in this thread from many - it helps so so much.
• 
  36

  How do stop myself getting too Bitter?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.

  i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.

  i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Voodoo Lady - Yes, I can definitely say I feel like someone I didn't think I could be....that in itself is a big hurt and obstacle.
• 
  48

  Struggling

  by Alive! in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

  i was a convert.

  i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Pete Zahut7 minutes ago

  I never heard the "songbook in the mailbox" thing, but I heard plenty calling "dibs" after Armageddon on some of the nicer waterfront homes in our territory.

  
  

  Un-believable! I wonder what our householders would have thought - knowing that their homes were being eyed up for occupation after they'd been slaughtered.
  Over the past 48 hours I can sense that I'm letting "stuff" that was really upsetting me over the years take on real meaning. My cognitive dissonance was so extreme to manage all this. I wrote the previous post about the "dibs" thing - and on reading your reply I have a sense of "sounding this down".
  It was such crap. What "spirit" truly operates in this organisation.Imagine explaining the "joke" to a quiet, going about his business, Christian - hey, our friend over there fancies your house, he was just sizing it up.... I'll explain why!.... And then giving them one of our horrible hate tracts on false religion.
  Awful. I need a new brain. My old one must have been diseased.
  
• 
  48

  How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

  start the count here with my wife and i.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  I didn't know that GrreatTeacher, re marriage.
• 
  48

  How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

  start the count here with my wife and i.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  I think I'm okay with not having children - but I must confess, that during the latter years when we were struggling, it hurt to take in the full scope of what would be missing in our future.

  What makes me want to hurl something is that when I step back, and think of the sheer control exerted into our lives. I'm shaking my head.

  Another issue ( sorry, no derailing intended) was regarding the resurrection of marraige mates. The "teaching" has changed on that too I believe.

  The emotions, hopes and expectations of people are played with horribly...

  And switched in a five lined paragraph on a Sunday afternoon without a flicker of "could we possibly offer you some counselling to help in your adjustment to our new reality for you?"

  Read paragraph, repeat answer. Well done. Time to go home.

  The loving bastards.
• 
  36

  How do stop myself getting too Bitter?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.

  i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.

  i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Bitterness should be seen as a natural, understandable reaction without any need to apologize for it. It shouldn't be allowed to swallow you up but it still serves an emotional purpose.

  True!
• 
  36

  How do stop myself getting too Bitter?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.

  i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.

  i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Being an XJW is like living life in the ocean with the tide rising and falling around you. One minute you're stuck in a trough of bad memories and sour feelings. But, the next minute you could be catching that Big Wave and surfing through life feeling excellent!

  Yes.
  
  
• 
  48

  How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

  start the count here with my wife and i.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alive!

  Sparrowdown,

  I remember many stories of those who "gave up family" for the religion. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

  And the attraction of "family" that was promised, a global brotherhood .....using exactly that scripture.

  I remember getting into the new habit of calling my Mother and Father and my non- witness friends "worldly".

  My parents believed in God, lived exemplary lives - but just were not religious.

  Worldly - yeah right.