i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.
i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.
then she decided she would attend the memorial.
. As I said several times in this forum, beware of the emotional pull from the congregation. It's really powerful,
"That is so true. I have felt it many times , I still feel it sometimes. I could have associates, "friends" to see several times a week... things to do, places to be, a life where people depended on me, respected me - just like it used to be. The trouble is that the genie is out of the bottle. I know now. I know that it is just not true, so how can I teach it?"
So true - so true.
i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.
i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.
then she decided she would attend the memorial.
Hi Eden One
Am new here - just wanted to send heartfelt support and acknowledgement of your painful circumstances.
You have wonderful support here from so many folk who have shared on the forum. May it strengthen you and soften the hurt.
this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.
start the count here with my wife and i.
you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.
i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.
i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.
I agree that justifiable anger is a very natural and healthy response to false religion and spiritual abuse.
I'm not bitter...but am feeling tired and I definitely have hit a deeper level of grieving. It's been a wild journey "out" over 3 years or longer...
Stuckinarut - you take care. Wise words in this thread from many - it helps so so much.
you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.
i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.
i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.
i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .
i was a convert.
i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.
I never heard the "songbook in the mailbox" thing, but I heard plenty calling "dibs" after Armageddon on some of the nicer waterfront homes in our territory.
this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.
start the count here with my wife and i.
I didn't know that GrreatTeacher, re marriage.
this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.
start the count here with my wife and i.
I think I'm okay with not having children - but I must confess, that during the latter years when we were struggling, it hurt to take in the full scope of what would be missing in our future.
What makes me want to hurl something is that when I step back, and think of the sheer control exerted into our lives. I'm shaking my head.
Another issue ( sorry, no derailing intended) was regarding the resurrection of marraige mates. The "teaching" has changed on that too I believe.
The emotions, hopes and expectations of people are played with horribly...
And switched in a five lined paragraph on a Sunday afternoon without a flicker of "could we possibly offer you some counselling to help in your adjustment to our new reality for you?"
Read paragraph, repeat answer. Well done. Time to go home.
The loving bastards.
you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.
i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.
i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.
Bitterness should be seen as a natural, understandable reaction without any need to apologize for it. It shouldn't be allowed to swallow you up but it still serves an emotional purpose.
True!
you know, i always maintained that during this fading process, and while learning ttatt, i would not let myself get "bitter twisted and angry".... but, in all honesty, if i examine myself, i have become quite bitter toward the org, toward the false friends and the gb.. i have become angry as i see the extent of damage i feel being raised in "the truth" has done.... i feel hurt towards the lost opportunities in life etc.... how do i not allow myself to get too swallowed up by such bitterness?.
i have always been a very happy, positive, selfless person.
i can put people at ease, i am someone people feel comfortable chatting to.
Being an XJW is like living life in the ocean with the tide rising and falling around you. One minute you're stuck in a trough of bad memories and sour feelings. But, the next minute you could be catching that Big Wave and surfing through life feeling excellent!
Yes.
