You sound distressed beyond words with so much toxic stuff happening in your family.
Hope letting it all out here is helping you in someway.
Alive!
JoinedPosts by Alive!
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JW Elder Lawsuit Update: AAWA Fliers are Illegal and Uncle claims he is "Going to Kill us in Court"!
by ReligionOfHatred inhi, my uncle made the first move by taking my mom, dad, grandma and grandpa(all in good jws in standing and non have put out anti-jw fliers or speech), that's who he is taking to court.
i have left the organization but than again, i was only a unbaptized publisher.
my grandma (whom i love so dearly was shocked to learn "i am not going to marry a pioneer and i don't want anything to do with any pro-jw females, i feel this religion is one of the most hateful religions mankind has seen).
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Humanism and Witnisam.
by The Rebel inwell it seems for many on this board the time came to leave the w.t and cross the bridge in to a real world.
speaking for myself l feel i did not enter the cold and lonely world i was lead to believe i was entering.
rather i have discovered it was no great loss leaving a world that had protected me with false, dreams, fantazy and false promises.. but what have i really achieved by my leaving that i value?.
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Alive!
By the way - I'm not claiming I had special spiritual insight re the sheep and goats thing - a close friend who like me was a newly converted witness argued the same thing with me - the elders shut us down.
But it just didn't make sense!!!
I remember us both looking at eachother somewhat shocked - so much for being truth seekers - we should have ran!
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Humanism and Witnisam.
by The Rebel inwell it seems for many on this board the time came to leave the w.t and cross the bridge in to a real world.
speaking for myself l feel i did not enter the cold and lonely world i was lead to believe i was entering.
rather i have discovered it was no great loss leaving a world that had protected me with false, dreams, fantazy and false promises.. but what have i really achieved by my leaving that i value?.
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Alive!
After 25 odd years following the ever changing interpretations of men, I'm making myself accountable.
I remember my feisty self during my initial bible studies saying 'well the bible can be interpreted whatever way you choose'
I was of course assured by the JWs that the bible interprets itself - remember that phrase? It just so happened to interpret itself only for the JWs.
Hmmm. One of the first 'obstacles' I had to get my mind around was after baptism - the adjustment in the 'interpretation' re separation of sheep and goats.
Current 'truth' at my baptism was that giving a witness was in itself a moment of 'judgement' for the hearer - remember that everyone? If the hearer declined or rejected our message or visit or worse still, our magazines which contained supernatural power with their hidden nuggets of scripture - even if heavily disguised by a front page asking if insurance is for Christians ;-) .....if declined the individual was surely rejecting God himself.
I remember quizzing some elders on this very thing - I dared to say it felt like giving 'a witness' was like handing the majority of the population a death sentence - at the time there was much debate over how those who hasn't had a witness would be resurrected and those who had 'heard the word' from witnesses would have had their chance - and were judged accordingly.
That belief changed - I remember excitedly reading the watchtower that explained that this is not a season of judgement after all - my relief was also disturbed by this sense of 'how come I understood it made no sense, but the FDS didn't get it straight away??'
So, firstly, sorry about the long winded stuff in previous paragraphs - but you see, today, I no longer labour under such insane making disturbances caused by men who claim they alone hold the keys to understanding Gods word.
With that, comes tremendous peace.
And.... I've regained my sense of reality, to the best of my ability! ;-)
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Conditioned to fail
by Jordandemm injust want to say hi and a big thank you to all that post in this site.
it has been extremely tough waking up as a born.
but in slowly removing any doubts about leaving this man made religion.
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Alive!
By the way, volunteer work is a brilliant way to meet people who are likely to have a caring mindset.
There is a world of wonderful people out there :-)
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Conditioned to fail
by Jordandemm injust want to say hi and a big thank you to all that post in this site.
it has been extremely tough waking up as a born.
but in slowly removing any doubts about leaving this man made religion.
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Alive!
For a while, after stopping all meeting attendance and all JW activities it seemed like our lives (husband and self) were fragmenting and falling apart.
We simply were not coping with the trauma of not knowing who the hell we are anymore, what our lives mean outside of the Org, and reflecting on so much bad air about our lives as witnesses. The pressure we had put on eachother - or rather the pressure I had put on my husband as a WT wife, who was anxious to be perfect in the WT fashion. It all blew up. Years of repressed discomfort, dissonance and so much more.
Difficult to jolly along with other humans in a social way when you are confused and hurting internally.
The isolation was so painful, as was the realisation that we had partnered with a worldwide org that enforced Intellectual and spiritual subjection to the leaders who slipped and scuffled about 'truth' - whilst demonising those who dared to throw out honest questions, reasonable questions.
What a journey. For us, especially me - it was a battle to come to terms with myself. And it has clearly emerged that the radical shift caused a series of breakdowns for me.
Good folk here and in my daily life kindly strengthened me when I thought I was losing the plot - through PMs and forum posts - and together, my man and me - we're finding our balance.
I was talking to an athiest relative and explained to her, that for me, I cannot ignore my inner sense that there is 'something' driving this world, universe - I really believe we are all 'made in the image of God' but we are broken versions. That Christ, truly lived on this earth and truly come from 'above' - from another world, place, dimension.
And all creation will one day be reconciled.
I'm not meaning to preach - just I can't explain my position without explaining my current spiritual position... If that makes sense. Even if that position appears to be a delusion :-)
Our lives are taking shape. The fear of failure (whatever that is) has evaporated. The anxiety and depression has left.
Gradually our lives are filling up again.
I have made several new friends, over the past two to three years in real life who are proving to be 'stickers' - it takes time.
We are not beset by 'bad things' - or at least, not overcome by them - and there have been some tricky things to manage in the past couple of years.
Lose the superstitious fear that the WT culture encourages. It's all a lie.
There is hope. As folk said to me - one day at at a time.
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Reflecting on my Disfellowshipping
by kairos intoday is the day.. i was baptized as one of jehovah's witnesses on march 25th 1989.disfellowshipped for admitted apostasy today, september 10th 2015.. what an amazing story we all share.
how did we get involved with this group and think this was the best way of life?.
i asked my wife to stay home from the meeting tonight and spend the evening with me.she is.... we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary this past monday.. i must admit, i never saw any of this coming, but it couldn't have come sooner.i'm free of all the fake friendships.
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Alive!
Keep your head up.
Your conscience was hurt by the lies - you couldn't continue in that way.
Your sensibilities were offended by the 'spiritual cage' that is the corporate structure of the JW.org brand.
The people in that sad congregation who listened to the announcement are trapped - they put their trust in a religion which at one point was led by a man who declared that the patriarchs would be resurrected in 1925, to live in an American purpose built mansion. They put their trust in a faith led on earth by men who in very recent times lie to courts and get caught out.
Jesus promised he would put the right words in the mouths of his 'followers' when they were forced to make judicial appearances in secular courts.
These leaders of JW.org are not the 'sort' Jesus asked us to trust in.....
This isn't a preaching post - but whether one 'believes' in Christ or not - it is clear, the JW.org is NOT the one and only true religion and it has no right to make that claim.
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New light from GB member David Splane!
by Island Man inin the latest jw broadcast splane is quoted as saying:.
"suppose there was a man who died 10 minutes before joseph was born.
would he be part of joseph's generation?
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Alive!
Just watched the broadcast - the explanation of the chart... The 'for arguments sake' comment re the dates of the birth and death of Franz - why make that comment unless you want to plant that thought in the mind? This is a broadcast which reaches JWs globally - many hang on every word.
Dates, dates and more dates.
Truly, a searching Christian would have every right to question whether these men speak for God....I know my conclusion.
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New light from GB member David Splane!
by Island Man inin the latest jw broadcast splane is quoted as saying:.
"suppose there was a man who died 10 minutes before joseph was born.
would he be part of joseph's generation?
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Alive!
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Do you find it hard to be around active JW's now?
by EdenOne ini do - actually, it's become close to unbearable.. and herein lies the paradox: i tried to fade in the illusion that i might keep contact with family and friends still "in".
was it worth it?
because not only most of them shun me anyways, but i find it almost unbearable to be around them, especially when the cult chit chat kicks in: every cute animal video clip triggers endless comments about glimpses of the future paradise and how "god did it"; those greasy praises to the organization and the governing body; the dumb awe about every jw broadcast and those cheesy music videos; the endless drivel against other religions when one knows perfectly well that we're no better than them; the endless flow of "experiences" of field service or spectacular conversions into "the truth"; the relentless congregation gossip; and so on .... i ask myself: is this why i am fading for ...?
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Alive!
Just over three years ago I would not have believed that we (husband and self) would find ourselves in this place.
Like others here, I find the company and talk of some JWs torturous.
Why?
For us, It's the clear discernment of the lack of genuiness. The fake and Cult- like language. I never once believed with any shade of pleasure that the 'worldlies' were going to be destroyed - instead I believed that somehow they would all turn to God - and our 'seed planting' was crucial.
I hate that cult members cannot see themselves as the 'world' views them.
I'd challenge any to stop and ask a random dozen or so people in the street to explain Jehovahs kingdom and its purpose ...... Who would know? so much for 'warning' people.
I pointed out to a JW friend that at the helm of the FDS, people had been delivered false prophecy and manipulative literature which employed misquoting to support 'truths'
And we wonder why genuine people don't put their trust in the JW religion?
I want the company of genuine people who care.
Recent experiences have taught us that the inmates of JW are all about self protection.
We are starting to grow again - as a couple. As people. It's been harder than hard :-)
But, we believe it's going to be worth it.
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A passing thought when driving past an inactive JWs place today.
by joe134cd ini'm going to tell you of a family i knew of when growing up as a jw.
she was a solo mother who had 2 daughters and these 2 daughters were absolutely stunning both physically and personailty wise.
i remember thinking at the time how commendable it was that such beautiful looking women would choose to stay in the organisation.
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Alive!
Thank you to Pete for writing with such thought and care.
Much to ponder on.