Dear Phoebe,
Ii was agony for me, realising that I was being pushed away, distanced ......but of course - as we know, this was not about me, but about the religion.
Like you, I also had several close friends who I spoke to daily, sharing everything....being true sisters...l'll never find that kind of bond again in what's left of my 60 year old life!
Good women, our love for eachother meant we'd drop everything to be at eachothers side....
But, the closest to me feel they can no longer speak with me....whilst a couple of others catch up with me when in town, affectionate, but more guarded as we've lost our 'freedom' to love in the way we used to.
I miss them. I know they must miss me.
You know, I met up with an old school friend recently, we shared our teens together. She came from a strict but very loving Jewish family.
Her Mother was a beautiful woman, adored her children, was a courageous woman who took up 'causes', spoke out against what she perceived to be injustices in the community.
When my friend left university, she informed her family she'd be marrying a 'gentile' - her Parents and family didn't attend the wedding - and her Mother agonisingly let her daughter know, that from this day forward, she'd not be able to see her ever again.
I want you to get an understanding of how much of an amazing, loved and immensely compassionate woman this Mother was.....
Three years later, the rabbis wife discreetly paid the grieving Mother a visit....and said, it's OK, don't miss out on your daughters life.....
That visit turned around the life of that family....and they reunited, the Mother, a warm, witty and generous woman was a much loved grandmother and fiercely protective of her chicks.....🙂
My friend was angry about my treatment from my JW friends and said, like everyone else says 'but, they were not real friends' ...
I suddenly realised, that they were real friends, like her Mother was a real Mother...but false religion can twist any heart and relationship, as can any ideology or politics or whatever....
Sorry this is long winded....it was just something that came up recently and it helped me to put things into perspective.
My JW friends WERE real friends, and I mourn and grieve their absence....but they are marching to the drum of their beliefs, as many 'good' and worthwhile people do....
It gives me comfort to still love them and not feel screwed up with hurt and emptiness....just recognising they can't help themselves......
I don't know if this will help....
I've found love and human warmth shows up everywhere when you stop and just let it happen.......there IS life beyond our JW experience.....keep steady dear 💕
