OneEyedJoe6 hours agoA big part of cult indoctrination is that they force you to integrate the cult into your very identity. That's the point of the constant talk about "make the truth your own" "put on the new personality" "spiritual heritage" etc. Once you're out you will likely become a very different person.
The other effect this constant indoctrination has is that it makes all JWs into very nearly the same person. Certainly when they're in cult mode (i.e. out preaching or when their defenses are up because they've come across a DFed/faded/inactive person - so this covers 90% of the interactions anyone on this forum is going to have with JWs) the variations between them are negligible. This means, too, that when we see a JW in full cult personality, we're essentially looking at our past selves. I think this is the main reason why interactions with JWs affect me so much, I see all the flawed reasoning that I was doing myself that kept me trapped so long and I find myself becoming angry at my former cult self.
A great summary.
As a convert, I wanted to ‘put on the new personality’ of Christ.
That personality was very, very attractive and heartwarming to me.
The Watchtower muddies this ongoing transformation with the cardboard cut out figure of the ideal ‘publisher’.
I remember feeling quite disorientated in the first year of indoctrination.
When I have occasional interactions with ‘in’ JWs, the rigid thinking and ‘JW’ verbal phrasing is a stand out.
And yes, it unnerves me a little.
Such apparent sweetness, yet such strangeness - I don’t feel comfortable with witnesses anymore, how can you when you know they walk in ‘mind’ lockstep even when something is very wrong, and fairly pointed out to them.
It can hurt - and it does affect me.