Posts by Alive!

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

Hi everyone.

i have been reading and reading - each and everyone of you has left treasures.

I'm a little overwhelmed in being able to respond to so many - every single post has resonated with me.

WingCommander - Im so sorry for your nightmare existence within the religion - I don't know you, but I think of the many who suffer the same neglect in many, many congregations. In every congregation we have stayed in - there have been the impoverished and neglected.... Unless they were pioneering they got ZERO help.

"You must have been wealthy or well-off, or benefited them somehow I imagine to be so well thought of to be invited to everything before?"

I guess you got that one right. I suppose from day one, we were somewhat coveted. Apparently normal and successful youngish people in "the world" - and yes, in a decent financial position after being in the right place at the right time for work opportunities....

As I reflect on this life with the religion, I suspect it tapped into my core weaknesses and needs on one level, my inner childish desire for approval was not too healthy - whilst the hope that our earth has a purpose made my heart soar.

i have a tendency to idealism. LOL.

I wanted to be my brother's keeper. I stretched out for that. But looking back, I'm ashamed. I should have been stronger.

I WANTED a spiritual society of like minded people - I WANTED everyone, no matter what race or background to be brothers and sisters - from the socially and economically neediest to the more privileged. I wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with fellow humans.

Initially - the appearance was of unity, brotherhood. Very quickly we were part of the "cool crowd" - your summary of the social structure and hierarchy rings very true.

The first niggle and shock we got - and this was in the first couple of years of conversion - was the cynical view many elders had of the R and F.

The stories, secrets and scandals that were told at those Elder drinking parties.... We should have run. But the power of the greater concept was so great.

The power of the prophecies, the power of that magical equation for 1914.....the rejection of pagan holidays, the rejection of burning hell - it was intoxicating.

Until one day.........

Sorry, this is brief and scrappy compared to all the fantastic posts here - I'm just tapping, tapping and please may I tell you all - you are ALL making a difference.

I do feel better today.

As Millie said -" I know where to assign craziness now."

I'm not defective. I may be broken, but I'm OK.

18

Endure! Life is hard! Lost? We are Miserable ? Don't think so

by ducatijoe in

its a rainy day and have been reading posts.. i would like to respond to the comments of those still in, post to those who have decided to leave.. what ever you have been told or may think about what will happen without "the truth" , is not true.

my life without the wbts is fantastic.

no stress, live in a beautiful place, great new friends and total peace of mind.

Alive!

Azor,

A tough road for you and yours.

Thank God you are together as a family.

I can't imagine how hard this has been with your boy being so sick.

Good to hear you have access to decent medical care for your son, warm hugs to you and your wife - keep strong.

Yes, here's to a new life and new beginnings.

18

Endure! Life is hard! Lost? We are Miserable ? Don't think so

by ducatijoe in

its a rainy day and have been reading posts.. i would like to respond to the comments of those still in, post to those who have decided to leave.. what ever you have been told or may think about what will happen without "the truth" , is not true.

my life without the wbts is fantastic.

no stress, live in a beautiful place, great new friends and total peace of mind.

Alive!

That's a very heartwarming post.

I remember a Sunday meeting where the speaker was talking about the protection of being in God's organisation..... "It's a jungle out there' he said.

I looked around that KH, at the strained faces, the dysfunctional family relationships, the lives of the lonely - "it's a jungle in here" came to mind - it didn't feel safe at all.

26

Wife wants a Family Study after the special talk...but initially refuses Bible only study.

by garyneal in

my wife asked me to attend the special talk with her because she wants to attend something like this as a family and feels that she "enjoys worshipping together" as a family.

i have not been to church for at least a year and have pretty much abandoned the practicing of my faith but i can remember how i used to want to have a church going family so i obliged.

i feel kind of apprehensive about doing these things because she wants the kids and i to be on our best behavior and has even fussed at me for playing tablet games during other talks.

Alive!

"Perhaps many of you, being or having been witnesses yourselves, can explain to me why a Bible study cannot be a simple reading of the Bible? During our argument I recall stating that if we had been a family that attended another church there is a good chance that we would have been okay with simply reading the Bible and asking for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Not these people, not my wife at least, to her it is impossible to learn anything about God from simply reading the Bible alone. Is it really a common viewpoint amongst witnesses? To a Christian who has been to protestant churches, this notion is absurd."

I'm sorry you are having to negotiate spiritual learning in your home - but, thank you, you've reminded me how Witnesses only trust the bible through the lens of the WBTS.

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48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

From that realization I could slowly start to trace back all the ridiculous pain filled moments and realize that I knew where to assign" the crazy" now.

I love this.
I never, ever dreamt one day.... This would be me. Reading this.

I'm heading bobbing in true JW style!

All of you have been so kind. I'm going to go back and read all your responses again...they are so full of value. Thank you with all my heart.

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

Aren't you all lovely? Just lovely.

i want to reply to each and everyone of you - it's so good to be heard. To be understood.

You know, a couple of points that stand out - "survival of the fittest" and "eating up their own"

A close non-JW relative of ours observed EXACTLY that point.

She also said something on the lines that "the religion seems to spit out those who get weak and are in need".

She saw neglect in action when I took her with me to visit a needy sister.

Together we put together a box of food, tried to clean her house and went back with more supplies. The sister kept curtains drawn and was deeply depressed....but managed to get to the meetings.

No-one - I mean NO-ONE in her congregation helped. I lived 45 minutes from her and my relative and I were the only ones that kept tabs on her and her little family.

Just brothers would turn up in suits seeing if they could start a study with her youngest. And leave without any offer to put in a few hours of much needed practical help.

The relative in question was absolutely disgusted that this woman's "church" - ie her KH - they did nothing to support her in a practical way, like clearing the yard, or small jobs.

i noticed that my local church has a telephone number for those in the community who may need an odd job done by a handy man.... Free of charge.

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

Well, it's a few hours since I logged on.

Thank you so much for the helpful responses.

I have just spent two days in bed. Feeling depressed. Just feeling everything but good things.

My life is not one big sad story and neither is my future.

I guess I'm just processing this transition.

I do have much to look forward to - but as you all know, it's no small thing to have your beliefs die on you...and to lose your "life" as you knew it in the process.

I felt suicidal this morning - just felt it, had no plans to action it.

It's these feelings of unreality that get me. I know you'll all understand.

Having this place to write in has helped me through the past hours.

Just glad I'm not passing on this nightmare to another soul by preaching the spurious good news of the WTBS.

14

Thinking of Becoming One of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by The Searcher in

if you become one of jehovah's witnesses, here are five points which will not be driven home to you until after you have been baptized as "one of jw's":.

1) you will be required to commit as much of your time and financial resources as you are able - to further the aims & acquisitions of the billion dollar corporation known as the wtbts/ccojw - namely, to recruit new members and to increase their worldwide real estate empire.. 2) you will be required to terminate "worldly" association with former friends.. 3) you will be "expected" to attend each and every meeting, assembly, convention, and kh televised broadcasts which are arranged by the self-proclaimed "governing body" (g.b.

) in brooklyn, n.y.. 4) you will be required to blindly accept any decisions/directions issuing forth from the g.b., even if you disagree with it.

Alive!

This is a double standard for them as when they are studying with you they will tell you it is OK to questions everything and examine your beliefs but they don't tell you that is not allowed once your in.

So true. I was declared to be a fantastic study who asked loads of good questions and really checked everything.

When I look back - I just didn't ask the right questions.

I remember challenging the beard issue - somehow it got lost in the powerful 1914 equation which was embedded in famous quotes from historians about the new era following the breakout of WW1... So I let it go.... Somehow my instinct got submerged.

Working in the corporate world, I kind of got that beards were perhaps suspect.

How stupid. So dressing up like one of the mafia in a smart suit, tie and shirt or a money making business man is more Christlike than wearing a soft beard and a polar fleece?

I like suits. But really, how does a suit or beardless face reflect a more obedient Christlike manner?

Crooks wear suits. Clean shaven politicians where suits. Nice ordinary people where suits.

I remember how new "studies" would be observed.... How pleased everyone was when a new guy would come to the meeting in a suit and tie after wearing casual clothes.

The first step on the ladder.

I confess to loving the congregational approval as I "grasped" deeper spiritual truths.

Truths that are now old hat. Discarded. And I prayed in gratitude for being given 'insight'.

In the end, after 20 odd years, my conscience and dignity were being trodden down by men who couldn't care less about me or mine.

I'll never forget the day an elder gave the prayer after our Sunday meeting.

"Thank you Jehovah for all the new truths you have given us over the years".

It made no sense. And I couldn't imagine teaching others this.

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

Thank you for your suggestions Rebel - and others who responded.

i love the suggestion to find a seniors group - LOL.

i hadn't thought of myself as being that bracket!

Anyway, I know the only way forward is to build a new life.

We are still repairing from a lot of grief - and probably best at making new friends once we feel stronger.

Still too much JW air around us.

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Alive!

Yes, Magnum's pizza and blood illustration is brilliant! LOL.