Posts by Alive!

29

Anxiety, OCD, Hoarding, and the JWs

by Spiral in

i'm noticing what seems to be a higher incidence of the above among the local jws than in the "general" (read: worldly) population.

i don't say this lightly, my wanderings around the fringes of jw society locally is revealing an alarming trend here.

the poverty doesn't help (there are good jobs, but you need a degree or qualifications to get one).. anyone else see this?

Alive!

I have to say that in my experience the incidence of OCD behaviours and other such issues amongst the JW community is extraordinary high. Really.

I often experienced dry retching attacks prior to a meeting....and I was a full on 'happy' believer.

These were times when I had a whole lot circumstantial emotional stresses on my plate, and the thought of spending the evening in a large gathering of people was NOT upbuilding for me, personally. The chit chat before and after felt excruciating, even though I focused on the person in front of me, and not myself as a sort of self regulation....it was wearying.

There was a period of time, where I was grieving, deeply grieving and I really just needed a kind and non confronting soul to just sit with me, the only company I desired outside of the workplace was in my home setting....and one to one.

Not just for a day, a night....but for a period of time I needed space, some dignity in solitude....and the anxiety of not having endorsed permission to be absent from meetings as a JW made me ill.

It really did.

The religion did a lot of productive things for my life...externally, it all looked good...our house, our social life, our finances and businesses....

But I was one of those who picked my manicured fingers, picked at my head....such anxiety underneath the gloss and the apparently happy life.

My JW friends all drank far too much...elders, pioneers....we all did.

My JW girlfriends were always on edge, or taking medication for anxiety.

Many of us were really all quite spiritually, emotionally and physically sick, when I think about it.

I saw many lives ruined. And that's not sour grapes.

10

Eavesdropping on a home Bible Study

by doubtfull1799 in

my mil held a bible study round to our place today and i was home so was interested to listen in from the next room to see what the quality of the study was like.

and whether the new clam meetings are helping jw’s to be better teachers at all.. .

participants:.

Alive!

I would warn any person who is studying with JWs to be aware and on guard.

There is no doubt that there are kind-hearted, well meaning folk who are groomed as Jehovah's Witnesses....and this can be quite disarming.

JWs are trained to look interested in 'you', and in many ways they are....but 'you' are actually a target, a desirable target....a JW will easily lose sight of 'you' as 'you' become a 'study' ....and please be aware, they will not be truthful in a 100% transparent way. Not in the way you'd expect when examining matters of such extraordinary significance and importance.

I don't say this to be unkind, but witnesses don't even realise they are actually fudging the 'truth' - every nerve in their being is bent towards making 'you' a Jehovahs Witness.

The faithful JW DOES love Jehovah, as they would prefer to call the Father, but the call to be shaped as a JW styled believer and be part of that community trumps all other considerations or realities.

So, just tread carefully, if you are reading.

If you seek God, please be aware, that surely if He exists, He is more then capable of being found without the use of half truths and silly and misleading interpretations of ancient writings.

I'm just writing this for those who want God, but may be walking towards a entrapped situation which they could later find painful and life endangering, emotionally and materially.

76

Hi, all...I'm a faithful JW who is sick of lies about us

by James Donalds in

i was baptized 30 years ago and have been in the faith for over 35 years.. our organization isn't perfect.

but i'm sick to death of seeing stereotypes about us.

we are not mindless automatons.

Alive!

I was a convert.

I moved mountains to conform my life, to become a 'witness'....I faced family opposition....you can imagine.

And your boastful claims repulse me.

So you are a 'faithful witness?'

Really?

You smoke a cigar?

And you brazenly come to a place where perhaps spiritually weakened witnesses gather, lurk and read and you boast about 'people knowing about your little cigar habit and its OK'....and then you claim you are a faithful witness?

Oh and you curse sometimes. How jolly.

And you vote? In your faithfulness you vote? Sweet!

How thoughtful and caring of you as a 'faithful JW' to present yourself as a normal witness....

Don't make me laugh.

You earn a six figure income?

Yeah well, so did I in the hay-days of my career.

You think that makes you an intelligent thinker?

My observation of folk is that it just means you earn a six figure income - not a guarantee that you are an intelligent thinker.

I've hung around enough high earners like my younger self to know it means zilch. It just means you can earn good coin and possibly street smart/savvy.

You go against the direction of men who claim to lead Jehovah's chosen people and you boast about it?

The problem my dear is that the ranks are riddled with two facers like you ( and yes let's face it, your actions are somewhat two faced aren't they? ....and twits like me were taken in by your nice clean facade.....)

Sorry if this is harsh, I'm usually sweetness and light.

But you know what? Your post royally pissed me off.

Think about it. And think about who you are and what you really stand for.

Apologies for the meaness of my words, I'll probably regret it and then angst over it.

But, I don't know - perhaps a wake up call as to how you really appear won't hurt.

People like you were serpents towards folk like myself, ultimately.

Perhaps you are not of that ilk. I hope not.

38

How do I handle this?

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

a little advice please.. it's now 7 months since i stopped going to meetings.

we still get regular calls by elders - at least every 2 weeks.

i can handle them.

Alive!

With respect to TFG....I'd stay well away from saying I'm dealing with private/personal problems - she and her Mother could go to town on that imagination wise and you can bet your bottom dollar your response won't stay private.....it suggests you are problematic or are experiencing problems ( of course! You don't go to meetings!!!!!) and that's not what it's about.

Isn't it horrible having to manoeuvre through all this stuff?

38

How do I handle this?

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

a little advice please.. it's now 7 months since i stopped going to meetings.

we still get regular calls by elders - at least every 2 weeks.

i can handle them.

Alive!

I'll share what I'd do.....just to add to the play of ideas...

I'd send a pretty little card to the girl, a thank you card or one of those cards that expresses appreciation for thoughtfulness.

I'd write some words that do not focus on or mention the content of her note re meetings, being a witness - but on her personal qualities as a caring person.

I'd finish by saying I'd keep her in my prayers to our Heavenly Father, I'd praise his kindness and tenderness toward me and how grateful I am for his kind guidance in my life.

(If you don't feel that way regarding God you could leave that part out of course!

I'd finish off with the following...

..... appreciative of the kindness and caring that I find in so many places in this busy world, ( and thank her for reminding you of that.) Or something along those lines. I'd keep the tone generous, sensitive to her feelings and self esteem, whilst not going anywhere near the 'witness' stuff.

Just my thoughts 💐

4

November broadcast

by inbetween09 in

anybody seen november 2017 broadcast ?

i do not mean the hypocritical talks about accuracy, but the rather short talk at the end.

the brother (sorry, forgot the name) addressed the issue of how apostates wrongly inform the media about the 2 witness rule.

Alive!

Frankly, they are getting downright scarier in their words and actions every advancing day.

Haven't seen broadcast....but their continued hiding, blustering and playing the 'victim'.....

Good point re sexual 'misdemeanours' as being pronounced 'guilty' without two witnesses to view the act....eg, sister and brother stay in same dwelling overnight and alone....can't they work out how.....wrong that is?????

I honestly don't think they have inkling as to how they really sound to the world, and to those who say 'enough' ....

It's horrible. It truly is.

37

My Cognitive Dissonance is Eating Me Alive (Intro Post)

by pometerre21 in

jw
friends

i've been lurking here for a couple of weeks now.

i'm starting to "awaken" and it is all that has been occupying my mind.

i've always, always had doubts, some of which i expressed to family members who always had the same replies:.

Alive!

Just to add.....its been just about 4 years or more since my last meeting (I think)

It seems many JW "doubters" go through hell as they face a complete breakdown in the very thing they trusted, that perhaps has been the glue of their lives....providing community, purpose and more.

Very tough when 'life' can be pretty good as a JW....for some...and I had some very good things to seemed to me.

I was a long term convert.....like a few others here I was in my late 50s when the uncomfortable feelings just kept coming and coming.....

I invested my life really, friends, wonderful memories.....but the dark 'issues' could not be overlooked as in overlooking in a 'loving way'.....summat was up. I knew it.

It was ugly, the pulling away, the early years that followed....and to be honest, my life suddenly seemed to be in the middle of perfect storm coming from all sides...on all sorts of issues....

But....My life has bloomed in the past year or so....in a heartfelt way, in a peace in my heart way.

I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything.

The pain and the dark days were ultimately (although I couldn't see it at the time) just a path to what I now hold to be precious, more precious then anything.

Have courage dear.

37

My Cognitive Dissonance is Eating Me Alive (Intro Post)

by pometerre21 in

jw
friends

i've been lurking here for a couple of weeks now.

i'm starting to "awaken" and it is all that has been occupying my mind.

i've always, always had doubts, some of which i expressed to family members who always had the same replies:.

Alive!

Re the blood doctrine.....

With use of blood in modern medicine as a fluid organ, remember that NO LIFE is taken or sacrificed....I think there is a key issue there ....

God's laws regarding the use of blood was to do with death and blood, and the acknowledgement of the sanctity of life.

The Christian scriptures 'abstain from blood' was in a letter particularly about newly converted 'pagans' who would have been familiar with the corrupt use of blood, drinking it in rituals, sacrificing lives for it....as if it contained magical properties.

And as you've already worked out.....fractions and approved blood sourced products require donation, storage.....go figure that against the reasons for prohibiting blood transfusions, donating blood etc!

It's the manipulation of scripture that gets me, and the ultimate denial of anything wrong with the clearly nonsensical prohibition ....

i actually found it 'scary' to ultimately realise there is no two/way conversation between the leadership and the general flock, no respecting that if indeed we are brothers and sisters in fellowship, then EVERYONE is accountable, and no-one can dictate the growing of your own God-given personal spiritual maturity and your conscience. Free exchange of discernment and understanding without fear of being 'exiled' is true love, true unity amongst those who surely wish to call themselves humble followers of Christ?

I'm writing this entirely from a faith-based view, as that is how I see things....but I don't mean it in a 'preachy' context if that makes sense??

The scriptures give a clear picture that teachers would arise that could fool even the "chosen ones" - preaching exclusivity, divisions and sects.

All I'm wanting to say, is that if you have a bad gut feeling, then you have an absolutely right, actually an obligation (as a Christian) to carefully test out why that is.......

You'll feel bad about it, it will be a roller coaster - but however you work it out, wherever your questioning takes you, be it within your your religion or something else... at least you can stand and say, I'm trying, I'm trying to learn and do my best.

And there is NO HURRY 👍😎

26

...and so the shunning begins

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report.

the congregation i belonged to never had much time for me anyway, i said once i could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice.

so i never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that i wasn't there and they aren't.

Alive!

Dear Phoebe,

Ii was agony for me, realising that I was being pushed away, distanced ......but of course - as we know, this was not about me, but about the religion.

Like you, I also had several close friends who I spoke to daily, sharing everything....being true sisters...l'll never find that kind of bond again in what's left of my 60 year old life!

Good women, our love for eachother meant we'd drop everything to be at eachothers side....

But, the closest to me feel they can no longer speak with me....whilst a couple of others catch up with me when in town, affectionate, but more guarded as we've lost our 'freedom' to love in the way we used to.

I miss them. I know they must miss me.

You know, I met up with an old school friend recently, we shared our teens together. She came from a strict but very loving Jewish family.

Her Mother was a beautiful woman, adored her children, was a courageous woman who took up 'causes', spoke out against what she perceived to be injustices in the community.

When my friend left university, she informed her family she'd be marrying a 'gentile' - her Parents and family didn't attend the wedding - and her Mother agonisingly let her daughter know, that from this day forward, she'd not be able to see her ever again.

I want you to get an understanding of how much of an amazing, loved and immensely compassionate woman this Mother was.....

Three years later, the rabbis wife discreetly paid the grieving Mother a visit....and said, it's OK, don't miss out on your daughters life.....

That visit turned around the life of that family....and they reunited, the Mother, a warm, witty and generous woman was a much loved grandmother and fiercely protective of her chicks.....🙂

My friend was angry about my treatment from my JW friends and said, like everyone else says 'but, they were not real friends' ...

I suddenly realised, that they were real friends, like her Mother was a real Mother...but false religion can twist any heart and relationship, as can any ideology or politics or whatever....

Sorry this is long winded....it was just something that came up recently and it helped me to put things into perspective.

My JW friends WERE real friends, and I mourn and grieve their absence....but they are marching to the drum of their beliefs, as many 'good' and worthwhile people do....

It gives me comfort to still love them and not feel screwed up with hurt and emptiness....just recognising they can't help themselves......

I don't know if this will help....

I've found love and human warmth shows up everywhere when you stop and just let it happen.......there IS life beyond our JW experience.....keep steady dear 💕

11

You are a Jehovah’s Witness or you are nothing at all…

by silentbuddha in

this morning i got a call from a friend of mine who i was actually roommates with at bethel in the 1990’s.

he left that organization about 3 years ago.

he was crushed because it was the 10 year anniversary (for lack of a better term) of the day that his brother took his life after being disfellowshipped many moons ago and not being reinstated.

Alive!

I am now 60 years old and first truly faced the truth about my religion some 4 - 5 years ago.

Haven't been to a meeting since 2012 I guess, after over two decades of true dedication.

It's been a journey I can tell you...losing your community and your closest friendships at a late stage in life.

You don't build such "bonds" overnight of long term history, trust ....but particularly history and memories that bring friendships especial joy in later life.

But, it's OK.

Well, no...it's not OK.....but really, life keeps opening up new growth and emotional richness.

The former JW life that was compromising my conscience and making me feel slightly insane was simply not an option.

Keep your eyes wide open and see the divine illuminating through the darker spaces of this world.

Have hope.

👍