quest81

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Posts by quest81

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  40

  Need advice on a comeback to my wife: when she is in cult mode she says faith without works is dead.

  by goingthruthemotions in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so i have gotten into arguements with my wife in the past about this cult.

  now a days after reading steve hassan books...i just try and avoid anything jdub with her.

  try to keep her in authentic mode..(not sure she really has one).

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  quest81

  Interesting comments here.

  GTTM: Do you have a copy of In Search of Christian Freedom? Raymond Franz's book addresses the JWs on this in Chapters 6 & 7 "Salvation, by Faith, NOT Works" and "From House to House" respectively. 

  The underlying sentiment is how human standards and legalism are the only true forces behind JW field service. What I found of great benefit is how Franz shows why JWs do the door to door even though it goes contrary to what the early Christians likely did. At the end of that chapter one will see how manipulative FS is and how it really is a method for control & burdening (as is JW dogma in general).

  I recommend you get and read this book as a historical reference. It's gives background into a lot of JW practices.
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  53

  Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

  by goingthruthemotions in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  out of the blue my wife started to ask me about my feeling about the borg.

  i told her i didn't want to talk about it...she persisted.

  she already knows how i feel, i told her that my biggest beef is that they use mind control, and yep she went in to how i was an apostate and how she doesn't want to be married to an apostate.

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  quest81

  GTTM: I see. That said, it appears you are both on the extreme ends of the spectrum. She is gung-ho on defending her faith, while you are equally polarized against it. 

  If you are willing to put in the work, you can find common ground. Though it will realistically mean making concessions and compromise especially with children involved. There's a book by Dale McGowan see image below I've been reading that addresses your situation to an extent:

  

  There's a sample on Amazon. You could read it and see if it might be of help?
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  12

  Imagine a Company Sells You a Product...

  by TTATTelder in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  imagine a company sells you a product... you like the product and begin to do more business with them.. then one day this company demands that you never visit any of their competitors for the rest of your life.

  they also add that you are never allowed to read a negative customer review about their company or products for the rest of your life.. actually this company threatens you with a humiliating future death if you engage in either of these activities..... how does that sound to you?

  sound reasonable?

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  quest81

  Brilliant analogy TE. I might use it in a future conversation with my wife.
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  53

  Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

  by goingthruthemotions in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  out of the blue my wife started to ask me about my feeling about the borg.

  i told her i didn't want to talk about it...she persisted.

  she already knows how i feel, i told her that my biggest beef is that they use mind control, and yep she went in to how i was an apostate and how she doesn't want to be married to an apostate.

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  quest81

  GTTM: Am sorry this is happening to you and your family.

  I have been where you are too not long ago (3 months ago actually). What I realized quickly after a lot of independent reading on cults and high control groups was to avoid direct confrontation and arguments. It's important to be able to identify whether your spouse is her authentic self or in the cult driven mode before responding to sensitive subjects. I advise against using words like 'mind control' or 'cult' (hard I know in the heat of an argument) as they trigger thought stopping techniques in your "still in" wife. When opportunity presents itself, remain calm and make your points sincerely.

  If you chose to stop being a JW, do you think you could make things work with your wife and kids if she choose to remain one?
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  20

  My Day's Long and Arduous Journey

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this, my day's long and arduous journey, is winding down as infinite night gracefully descends and takes me into her welcomed embrace.. i have no reason to fear the inevitable, my transition into a higher and more glorious estate than was allowed me upon this beautiful but angst-filled habitation.. what must be borne with calm, with dignity, with rejoicing, has been prepared for me from earliest times.

  its accomplishment requires nothing of me .

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  quest81

  Good to 'see' and 'hear' from you CoCo. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
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  67

  Good Netflix shows to watch

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  in the long winter nights you need some good tv shows to watch while you wait for the eternity between seasons of game of thrones.. we've watched marco polo (pretty good) and have just started watching orange is the new black which is not at all what i imagined (didn't know it was funny!).

  house of cards is on the list too as we've heard good things about that.. anyone have any others that are worth seeing?.

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  quest81

  coalize: I watch the US version of Shameless (Showtime). It's outrageously entertaining. The UK version is available on Netflix just queued it thanks to you :)
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  67

  Good Netflix shows to watch

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  in the long winter nights you need some good tv shows to watch while you wait for the eternity between seasons of game of thrones.. we've watched marco polo (pretty good) and have just started watching orange is the new black which is not at all what i imagined (didn't know it was funny!).

  house of cards is on the list too as we've heard good things about that.. anyone have any others that are worth seeing?.

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  quest81

  House of Cards is brilliant, I watched all of it in one go when it was released lol

  Hell on Wheels is pretty good I think.

  Orange is the New Black is good with a dark sort of humor, watched it last winter.

  Marco Polo, just started 2 episodes in so far - slow start for me, we'll see how it goes.

  Luther, 2 episodes in, liking it so far.

  Arrow, like it all caught up.

  Sons of Anarchy, pretty good, dark poetry in there, Keith Sutter's storytelling is captivating.

  Mad Men, the 50s and 60s must have been great! I enjoy this show.

  Boss, in the fashion of House of Cards, good stuff, Kelsy Grammer makes one 'good' bad guy.

  About a Boy & The Office (UK & US), when you need a laugh or two.

  
  

  
  
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  35

  Where is Everyone????

  by truthlover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  missing a lot of the oldies and goodies -- is this site so new, no one has signed on yet?

  i am confused... but then, i will have to wait and see what happens.. somehow - change is not the best option but we adjust..have most of the users gone to other locations?.

  tl.

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  quest81

  Hello guys, was getting the hang of the new site for the last couple of days (many thanks to Simon), while concurrently enjoying the season's offerings :)

  Afrikanman: nice picture I love South Africa, great country, great people (most of the time lol).

  
  

   
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  45

  Many Member Just Want to Believe

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if you are/were an active jw, you are now here on jwn so, for whatever your reasons, you woke up to some degree- hopefully a great degree.

  so what i am saying may not apply to you.. i know that if i had not already left, i would have stormed out on the day they studied "overlapping generation.

  " i am quite confident i couldn't have stayed for such an obvious switcharoo just to make the end seem imminent and try to explain how wts was wrong, but not entirely wrong in the past.. but i had to wonder how that change (or others) didn't cause most jw's to walk out.

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  quest81

  OnTheWayOut: I can relate to your frustration in trying to get TTATT through to your spouse. I am in similar situation as yourself and Nickolas though I have always been an UBM. The hardest part for me is watching the love of my life get guilted, manipulated and give away her ability to think for herself to some delusional men with a God complex. Like you I have a fermenting need to show my spouse that she has been deceived for so long, after reading the requisite material (Hassan et al) I realize now that love, patience and opportunity (to ask questions) are the keywords.

  One other thing I am learning to do is to listen, cognitive dissonance is quite the interesting phenomenon, people let out a lot of their subconscious thoughts in things they say when their guard is down - listen to her.
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  5

  DirecTV -- why also Roku, Chromecast, etc.?

  by FatFreek 2005 in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  we already have directv as one of its earliest subscribers (1994).

  we have always had their latest dvrs(where we can skip commercials, pause, slo mo, resume, etc), have their premier insurance for all our hardware, and have their basic entertainment package, including movies, sports, family and music channels -- some over 150 channels that include local channels.

  no premium channels.. i hear folks talking how they love those set top boxes (sticks, dongles, etc) that don't cost an arm and a leg -- a one time charge -- and can forever stream movies and programs.

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  quest81

  FatFreek2005: If you are looking to cut down on your sat TV bill or simply increase the hub of your entertainment sources, streaming devices are a must have. Not only will they improve content available to you, they also offer flexibility of where to watch desired content. For instance, you can simply plug in a Chromecast dongle into the HDMI port of an older non-smart TV (with no apps) and be ready to watch stuff from Netflix cast from your phone or tablet in your kitchen while you cook. This is definitely cheaper than getting another DirecTV client which you'd have to pay monthly subscriptions for.

  That said though, the best content will require subscriptions so I guess you will have to do the math on what you really need. Most TVs and blu-ray players these days come pre-loaded with the most popular apps to stream content (Netflix, Amazon Instant, Hulu, YouTube etc).