Posts by ToesUp

26

What Things Did You Not Talk About as a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

you have to lead a secret life as a jw.

you're not supposed to over drink, go to night clubs, enjoy worldly concerts, etc.....sex, though is really taboo.

you could never freely talk about your sex life.

ToesUp

I didn't talk to much. I didn't like the feeling of being judged. We always seemed to be the couple who just listened and gave advice. If you ever notice, most JW's are too busy running their mouths, i.e. "I'm pioneering, so and so (usually their kids) are pioneering, serving at Bethel or Need Greaters. Who has time to talk? It seems like everyone (even family) had to one up you all the time. No time for listening.

To this day most don't know why we left. Some are perplexed (nosy) but as usual, we are NOT talking. It's driving them crazy and we are having a great laugh.

45

What bad habits have you picked up since leaving the Borg.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

i went back to smoking and gambling but the good habits out weigh.

the bad ones, like lying to people.

is't fraud against the law, the practice.

ToesUp

I wouldn't call it a bad habit but we are REALLY enjoying life to the full. No more weird feelings in our stomachs that something just isn't right.

I drink less, now that I am out. Funny huh?

Not really bad habits but some positive changes.

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

ToesUp

sloppyjoe2...Yup there is a double standard, it is HYPOCRISY. LOL The do as we say, not as we do standard. This is what got out whole immediate family out, then we learned TTATT. Someone said in an earlier post that once you learn TTATT you have opened a box that you can not shut again. So true!

So happy to be free!!!

48

How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

start the count here with my wife and i.

ToesUp

NVR2L8 "Today we have grand children and I could not imagine a life without my family and I am happy that I didn't obey the WT because every other times I did resulted in hardship down the line."

I agree...we couldn't imagine a life without our children. Hardships and all I wouldn't have done it any other way. It seems the older JW's are finding it hard. They are going through old age with no one to assist them and some are unable to cope financially, because they have been pioneering and in Bethel for so long. I believe a lot have built up resentment over the years. So sad.

48

How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

start the count here with my wife and i.

ToesUp

We were terrible JW's.

Wanted kids...have them.

Bought a house.

Have jobs (we were not allowed a college education though).

Go on vacation.

Have a 401k. Yes...we are planning for the future.

My wife even has 2 piercings in each ear (OH MY!!)

No wonder we are out. We were terrible JW's !!! Yikes!

91

Setback

by EdenOne in

i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

then she decided she would attend the memorial.

ToesUp

Doc...you said it! "You're a JW so you're their friend. Easy. As long as you remain a good JW."

IMHO...who wants friends like that. Conditional friends are not the ones I want. We have made some great evil/worldly friends (lol) who seem to like our company. I like those friends better. There are some nice people out there you just gotta go out and find them.

91

Setback

by EdenOne in

i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

then she decided she would attend the memorial.

ToesUp

I agree with Blondie. It will die off eventually. We continued to associate with the JW's, giving them chance after chance. Different congregations, etc. The lack of love eventually shines through. The JW's will only go so far to help you. If you ask for physical help (anything where they may have to get off their a**) or hit them up for a couple of bucks, they will head for the hills. The only thing they will do is the JW head nod (act like they are listening and care) and tell you to trust/wait on Jehovah.

It may take some time but they WILL eventually let her down again. They just can't help themselves.

If you love her be kind and give it some time. In time...maybe she will see that you truly love her...unconditionally.

We are all here for you EdenOne.

91

Setback

by EdenOne in

i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

then she decided she would attend the memorial.

ToesUp

Wow...so sorry EdenOne.

This cult has a strong social pull. Nothing else. We have seen this before.

Just remember, if these "loving" people have let her down before, they WILL do it again.

Hang in there.

9

A form of healing?

by New day in

it has been mentioned on here by quite a few posters that when they let go of the pressure of living up to the standards set out in the wt publications, they felt relief from a strangulating set of rules and regulations which do not truly reflect the kindness and love displayed by jesus.. as more than a year has gone by since i first read the ray franz books and started reading posts here, i recently stepped back and thought about how i now feel.

having always been a boy who can't say no (theocratically speaking) i have just now realized that, yes, i can refuse talks in the tms if i either can't do them or (gasp) don't want to do them.

just last week a well-meaning but misguided elder put me down to take a fs arrangement without asking me, despite the fact that i resigned as an elder last year and had asked for the pressure to be taken off.

ToesUp

Good for you New Day! Just say NO!

These guys just want to "use" you. When they Brothers told me they wanted to "use" me and I needed to this or that, so they could "use me". When I thought about it, they had a whole other meaning for the word use. In reality they want to use me so they don't have to do it. I think most of the Elders hate the responsibilities and would love some down time. Except for the power hungry brown nosers who have too much time on their hands.

22

Candace Conti - Consequence for Elders

by The Searcher in

bodies of elders around the world will soon (tm) receive a nicely worded letter from the christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses, telling them that local elders are now responsible for ensuring that no perverts are allowed to be alone with any children on any kind of witness business, otherwise, the boe will be accountable to the courts - not the org!.

however, if the elders are aware that bro.

& sister oblivious sometimes ask bro.

ToesUp

I remember, as a kid, waiting for my Dad to come out of an Elders meeting. Sometimes past 11pm. Back in the old days, most families only drove 1 car & Mom stayed home with the kids. Now days...a different story. If you have kids in public school, they pile on the homework and projects. Meeting nights are a whole new story when you have kids in middle/high school. Very stressful on the kids.

I admire Elders who step down to spend more time with the family. You can't go back and do it over. You get 1 shot to raise your kids. Enjoy them!

You can tell the Elders who won't or can't step down. Take a look at their wives faces. They looked pissed.