The other thing was in the last talk given by a CO; he read the scripture in Matthew about the two gates and made the statement that "ALL" jws are on that narrow road and everyone else in the world is on the broad one. What was funny, is that just prior to this, he had been reading scriptures about not judging and provided one of those famous lists that queues everyone to grab a pen about not judging ourselves, the "friends", and those in our ministry. Isn't that exactly what he did with that statement?
First let me say, Welcome to the board.
Second, don't be afraid of expressing yourself and participating. There will be no lightening bolt coming from the sky to smite thee and who cares if that sock puppet that real estate holding and publishing company calls jehovah is sad. He's just a figment of their imagination planted deep within your consciousness to trigger fear, remorse, and guilt anytime you think any differently from what is the "truth de jeuer".
Just be careful of the personal information you share. This is a public foum.
I had this same reaction you had when I accompanied my wife to her regional. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing, particularly when, in one segment, the speaker paraphrased a letter from the governing body wherein they questioned every males devotion to jehovah and potential as a marriage mate if they didn't have a position in the congregation right after they'd just talked about not using personal yardsticks to question anyone's spirituality.
They are now attempting to plant the seed in the sisters mind that if the person you're interested in marrying doesn't have a position in the congregation, then why not?
Sitting next to my well taken care of JW wife for 30 years who haven't had to work at all for the last 20, I was supremely insulted.
I couldn't help but to think, Oh, so now they are going to pimp out the sisters to complete their objectives????
Trying to get from under the clutches of this cult while being a born-in elders baptised as a child son.......
Whew, I don't envy the task you have ahead of you particularly if you want to have some connection to your JW family. Not a whole lot of people get away unscathed under those circumstances.
However, tread carefully, deliberately, and at your own pace. It can be done.
Good Luck!!!!