I didn't want to get into the gory details in my OP but my wife has had lots of medical and mental problems and after her pleading with me to just TRY and give Jehovah something to bless I said fine I would go to the meetings with her.
A few years ago, my wife went to this stage, pleading, to me about what my intentions were with respect to ever going to meetings again. Since she asked, I told her point blank that I didn't believe in any of it anymore and that I would never be going back.