Posts by humanperson

58

Musical video on JW-TV February monthly program - must see !!

by Viva la Vida in

jw
friends

you must see the musical video at the end of this month program (aprox.

at 1:04:30).... i don't like to use "must" but this is wow... if you think they couldn't get any lower... just be prepared...

humanperson

That. Was. Horrifying.

People have to see this and wake up! Right? Riiiiight?

And what was up with Herd's dead eyes after? Spooky.

26

Campaign to Israel

by humanperson in

i have been wanting to introduce myself but i don't know where to begin.

my husband and i are enjoying our third guilt-free weekend of our lives (both born-in, almost 30).

he has been out mentally for the last year and a half but patiently waited for me to come around.

humanperson

Thank you, sylvlef. I really hope your wife wakes up too!

26

Campaign to Israel

by humanperson in

i have been wanting to introduce myself but i don't know where to begin.

my husband and i are enjoying our third guilt-free weekend of our lives (both born-in, almost 30).

he has been out mentally for the last year and a half but patiently waited for me to come around.

You're right, apognophos. It is a delicate situation. And it was incredibly stressful for my husband. I wasn't happy being a JW - I was depressed and paralyzed by guilt and fear. And STILL it took time for me to come around. You're right that in the end it is absolutely a personal decision. But I know that there was no chance I would have left without my husband's influence. I'm very hopeful that the upcoming insanity (this campaign to Israel, the complete rebranding, the doctrinal changes in the March WT, etc) will shake people up and many will leave. We can't make that decision for them. I think where we come in is showing them that there is safety and happiness and fulfillment outside of the org.

Thank you for your kind words, OneEyedJoe. I'm so sorry about your situation. I don't know how my husband (like you) did it - I can't imagine. The second I fully found out TTATT, I stopped going because it made me sick. People with spouses still in don't have that luxury. Just know that I never, ever, ever thought I would leave. And then I did. So there is hope. Another book that helped me make the decision (which you could read first - it would probably be too much for your wife at this point) is Personal Development for Smart People (worst name ever, but appeals to the ego, haha). It is kind of new agey, but framed in a secular way, if that makes any sense. The part about courage and "the path with heart" hit me really hard. But again, might be too soon for your wife.

As for the other books: My husband didn't openly bring them up. The word "cult" did not sit well with me at all, so he mostly used the term "high control group". But at this point, I was on my way out. He emailed me a link to a BITE model breakdown of mormons. It was a way for me to explore the idea sort of indirectly, even though I knew what he was doing. And I couldn't deny the similarities between mormons and JWs.

I was the one who decided to read Crisis of Conscience, before he did. I was 95% out emotionally at that point, and I just wanted to rip the bandaid off. I felt like that 5% of indecision was killing me. So I read everything I could get my hands on. I felt like I was so starved for real truth.

One factor in my leaving that I can't ignore is that we missed a ton of meetings. Although we were never really consistent, I had an injury that kept me home for a couple weeks, and then we both got really sick with colds. Maybe it was enough time for the indoctrination to wear off a little. I don't know.

26

Campaign to Israel

by humanperson in

i have been wanting to introduce myself but i don't know where to begin.

my husband and i are enjoying our third guilt-free weekend of our lives (both born-in, almost 30).

he has been out mentally for the last year and a half but patiently waited for me to come around.

humanperson

Ah! Thanks for showing me where those threads are, OneEyedJoe (I looked but apparently I am not good at the internet, haha). Reading those, and the responses here helped me to see that we are not crazy! Does anyone know when this campaign is happening?

OneEyedJoe and sylvlef - I am trying to get my thoughts together about how my husband helped me see TTATT (how he touched me, lol!). I have no way of knowing if it will help you with your wives but I really hope so. We are the only ones out. Both of our families, and ALL of our friends are still in. I'm desperate to get our families out, but I am so thankful that my husband and I have eachother. And I wish that for all of you.

He presented some of his early doubts to me (when I pushed him because I knew something was up) in a way that showed to me that he was deeply hurt by the lies. For example, when he told me about the guardian article about the UN link, he said that he had always admired the neutrality position, and he had loved digging into the Revelation book, so he was heartbroken about this. That is not to say that I responded well. I was awful. I denied it, I questioned his motives, and I sank into a deep depression.

At this point I believe he read Combatting Cult Mind Control, about a year ago. He started to bring up smaller issues over time, in a more subtle way. Like wondering out loud why the best JWs seemed to be the worst Christians (very effective because things happened often to reinforce this idea). Or pointing out the statment in the WT about "doing whatever the GB asks even if it seems crazy". Or showing me from the bible that we should really be helping other people in practical ways. I know there are many more, but I was probably too brainwashed to notice.

What REALLY made an impression was the positive things he did in this time. I knew he was intensing doubting JWs, but he didn't fly off the deep end like I was brainwashed to believe would happen. He was still kind and loving and patient. He still read the bible, and shared some nice scriptures with me occasionally (he liked to use biblehub to compare translations and he showed me Matthew 11:28-30 in the message bible where it talked about the "unforced rhythms of grace"). He helped me to see that you can still be Christian, and can still be a good person, without the GB.

At the same time, he showed me what life could be like outside of JWs. We decided that we had wasted enough time and that we were going to do some of the things we have always talked about. And we did. We went on trips, and tried new things. He assured me that he would support me if I decided to go back to school.

Also, I mentioned that I had become quite depressed. I felt like I really needed help, and medication had not helped in the past and I felt going to counselling "would reflect badly on Jehovah". So I searched and came across the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It taught me CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which helped me immensely. Looking back, I think this book also really helped me to improve my critical thinking skills, in an indirect way. There's nothing weird in it. I have been recommending it to JWs who are anxious or depressed.

So my awakening happened in fits in starts. A couple months ago, it really hit me that it wasn't the truth. I sobbed. And then I decided that yes, it had to be. It was too painful to believe otherwise. I tried to double-down and go in service more. But I kept being confronted with all the things I knew. So about a month ago, I really woke up to TTATT. We went away for the weekend and I read crisis of conscience and combatting cult mind control. I felt like I was in shock. I cried a lot.

But life has been getting better and better. It's still hard but my husband said that it used to be "one step forward, and two back" and now it's the opposite. Wow, this is getting long. It feels kind of self-indulgent to write a long post about "My Journey" haha. But I have appreciated reading other peoples, and I hope it can help someone even just a little bit.

26

Campaign to Israel

by humanperson in

i have been wanting to introduce myself but i don't know where to begin.

my husband and i are enjoying our third guilt-free weekend of our lives (both born-in, almost 30).

he has been out mentally for the last year and a half but patiently waited for me to come around.

humanperson

Hi! I'm new here. I have been wanting to introduce myself but I don't know where to begin. My husband and I are enjoying our third guilt-free weekend of our lives (both born-in, almost 30). He has been out mentally for the last year and a half but patiently waited for me to come around. I owe him everything. I am so thankful to this site and the members here who have helped make this transition easier. Thank you So much.

I would love to know what you all think about the huge campaign JWs are planning for Israel. I missed the inital letter being read about it, and have been faking excitement about the whole thing for a few months now. Doesn't this seem like a really, truly terrible idea? Sending inexperienced people to preach in a place that is pretty volatile and openly hostile to Christians? Is it a publicity stunt? Are they hoping something bad will happen? If it's really about reaching the ends of the earth, why not India or something?

Quite a few people I know have applied to go. So far, none of them have been accepted and I have to say I am relieved.

So what do you guys think? (I couldn't find anything in the archives - but maybe I missed a discussion of this?)