Hello!
I doubt anyone remembers me, but I used to be around these boards I bit. I think my last post was in the summer of 2004. As a refresher, my husband is an inactive JW. We've been married for two and a half years now, and we're living hundreds of miles from where he grew up and attended meetings. His, so far, is a successful story of fading: we've been left alone by dubs, he still has a good relationship with his family, and we're both in graduate programs and enjoying life as we see fit. :)
I guess I wandered back here because I got an e-mail a couple of days ago from an old acquaintance of mine who is also a Witness ... wanting to catch up with me and, truly, dig for dirt. Find out what horrible worldly things we've been doing. But there's not really much dirt to give. Contrary to the Witnesses' belief that everyone who leaves becomes a miserable drug user or something, we've actually been quite happy and successful. Imagine that. The "worldly wife" has not ruined my hubby's life. Anyway, I sent a nice e-mail in reply telling this person about what we've been doing, the traveling we've done, our scholarships to good grad programs, and generally how things have been going. I also mentioned the volunteer work we do (at a local AIDS organization). Yeah, I knew how that would be received. It's something we feel strongly about and it's very rewarding work. Well. I got a very critical e-mail back about how we should go volunteer for a "worthy" group, not one that caters to those who are, basically, getting what they deserve.
WELL. She got a scathing, but politely worded, reply to that, explaining that we think everyone has dignity and deserves care, and that we don't think it's our place to judge people or cast them out because of one mistake. We've all made mistakes, I said, and we all take risks every day -- but we think life is not about thinking we're better than anyone, but helping those who need a hand or an ear to listen. I even cited some Bible verses ... because even though I'm not religious, I think that if Jesus were here, he wouldn't be at an Assembly with the Witnesses; he'd be out there actually doing something good for the world. Not ignoring the world.
The lack of love for people outside their faith is what has always irritated me about JWs. But I guess when you believe everyone else is evil/ignorant/selfish ... there's not much motivation to do something good for the sake of doing something good (not preaching).
Hmm .. I got way off topic there. But I'll leave it. That's basically the only interaction we've had with Witnesses outside of my husband's very wonderful family (I adore them; they have always embraced me and respected our lives. If all Witnesses were like them ... things would just be better all around). We're keeping our fingers crossed that things will stay as they are ... that his family can have their faith, and we can have our life outside of that faith, and we can all coexist amicably without the organization butting its ugly head in and disfellowshipping him.
Knock on wood.
So, I'm enjoying reading all the posts ... seeing familiar "faces" ... and I hope everyone's been doing well.
Smiles,
SLM