Thanks very much for all the comments and encouragement (ew, did I just use that word?) - I appreciate it!
My daughter tends to get really defensive whenever we talk about this stuff - like she's spoiling for a fight, and wants to convince me to believe. I really struggle to let her have her say - my instinct is just to shut her down and say that I've heard it all before, but I'm making an effort now to acknowledge what her mum has been teaching her as a possibility, but one that has no evidence to back it up.
ABibleStudent: How about teaching your daughter how to do her own research? If she asks about evolution, show her how to do research using the internet. Help her to evaluate information sources and analyze information.
Good reminder, thanks. We usually have these sorts of chat after dinner when her mum is on the computer, so it is the one time that it's difficult to look things up, but you are right, she needs to learn how to evaluate sources and do her own research.
rathernotsay: its only my 4yo thats asking questions. I have found all I can really do at this point is get him interested in dinosaurs and space, hoping that he asks the right questions later.
Yes, it is very hard to have meaningful discussions at that age! I have always tried to foster an interest in science in my daughter, but she's not all that interested. When she was younger I used magic tricks to help her develop critical thinking skills - she learned very quickly that there is always a secret trick involved, and that it's not real magic. She has her own magic sets which she still plays with occasionally. We used to watch magic shows on TV too, and tried to guess how the tricks were done.
sonoftheTrinity: Put the "Thou shalt not commit logical fallacies" poster up in somewhere in the house and tell her for every logical fallacy she finds in the Awake magazine you'll pay her a quarter (or a dollar if you got it like that.) That way she will pay attention which will initially please your wife until she finds out what is going on.