Hello everyone,
Been watching all of the carnage on here, and several other threads, and decided to take a deep breath and offer my view on this topic. The following quote inspired me to throw my hat into the ring.
Yes, we are all equals here as human beings. We are NOT equals in the amount of work we have put forth among the exJW community. Some have done more than others. Like men digging a ditch, while some work hard and others stand around and talk, although they are all equal as humans, they are not all equal in getting credit for digging the ditch.
Interesting analogy. I suppose it is what an individual values as useful information. By this comparison, I am most definitely a “talker”. I accept this description based what I post on this board most of the time, especially when my posts are held up to those that have carried the torch and illuminated much of the dirty underbelly of the WTS. I have been a ditch digger in other areas of my life and I know it can bring great personal satisfaction and meaning to ones life. It can also be a very thankless and dirty job. So many reap the benefits without so much as expressing any appreciation for the hard work done. Of course, am not privy to the reasons many of the more “scholarly” posters do what they do. I am only speaking from my own personal experiences.
So, I offer my random thoughts on this topic.
”But he’s (she’s) really a nice guy (gal) in person.”
Fact is, yes, most of us base our opinions and get our impressions of other posters based on what is written on this board. Whether someone is kind and personable face to face, or in a social setting, is, in my opinion, irrelevant. Most of us will never meet each other or even talk on the phone, for that matter. In this medium, our POSTS do speak for who we are and that, my friends, is just how we are judged. Granted, many individuals go many years back. There are many personal bonds and old battles that I do not have knowledge of. Most of the time, I think it’s better that way.
The Queen Mother of dirty words
I wrote previously of being “judged”. From what I have read, that is one of the worse things to be accused of in the EX-JW world. It is human nature to judge. We all judge people, situations, and, on here, POSTS and POSTERS. That is not necessarily a bad thing. I will admit, I do it all the time. Being “judgemental” is viewed as a particulary negative trait to have here. Well, folks, I plead guilty to it. After observing some of the attacks on here, I have JUDGED some posters not worthy of my respect. That is my right and privilege. It is also everyone elses. Do I express that opinion to that individual? Not usually. It’s just not worth my energy. It’s like turning the TV channel when a program offends me. Their posts are just not read by me, anymore. Others have the same right to feel the same about me and to act in the same manner.
To be equal or not equal?
I suppose whether one is equal, or not, is how we view ourselves, especially in relation to others. This applies to “real” life and in this little cyber community of ours. This seems to be an extremely sensitive subject for many EX-JWs. I have read so many accounts of people on here that express their frustration is feeling not worthy and never “doing enough”. There is always more that can be done. Jehovah loves you and all, but if you could just do a bit, or a lot, more. I think the matter of being “equal”, or not, to another individual is how one defines the word itself. I, myself, have always had a problem with how the word “successful” is used. Society defines that as having material status. Well, by that definition, I am not successful. I also happen to reject that definition. My life is full of meaning and purpose, and to me, THAT is success. I’m I equal to others here? In my opinion? Yes. In the eyes of others? Know what? I don’t give a damn!
Hardcore WTS research VS. a kind word(s) and a hug.
Both of these actions have equal value in my opinion. I, personally, have benefited greatly from, what I can imagine to be, extremely exhaustive and time consuming research. I have expressed my appreciation and admiration when something written has particularly touched me. Generally, I do this privately by email. I have also reaped the benefits of a loving gesture. Be it a kind word or a cyber hug. They give me the warm fuzzies, and know what? I like that! Yes, the research is important, but so are the individuals that help hold people together once the other shoe has dropped.
The low blows, the high blows, and everything else in between
Being here on this forum the last 5 months has shown me the best of human nature and , unfortunately, some of the worse. Acts of kindness and generosity that are better than any Hollywood movie ending. Hilarity so original that I nearly fall out of my chair, laughing. Personal revelations that touch me in such a way, that I am never the same again. I have also witnessed behavior that makes me question the sanity of the poster. Vicious verbal insults and attacks that make me sick to my stomach. Personal information expressed in confidence, revealed to deliberately humiliate and embarrass.
So, now what?
Guess what? I don’t have a definitive answer. Simon amazes me with his patience. For the most part, I like this place. Some outstanding individuals hang out here. The serious posters and the fluff posters are just going to have to find a way to co-exist. How do we do that? I’ll make one suggestion. As the words here have tremendous power to heal, they also have the devastating power to crush. Try and remember that, huh? In the meantime, I will do what I have learned to do so far; take the best and leave the rest.
Andee
