Posts by Incognito

36

Is it 16?

by Jrjw in

hi can anyone tell me if it's true the society says parents must take their child to meetings until they're 16 even if they don't want to?

my ex is being a pain about me not forcing my 12 year old to be a witness.

he doesn't know i'm becoming inactive at moment so i have to be careful how i word things to him.

Is it 16?

by Jrjw in

hi can anyone tell me if it's true the society says parents must take their child to meetings until they're 16 even if they don't want to?

my ex is being a pain about me not forcing my 12 year old to be a witness.

he doesn't know i'm becoming inactive at moment so i have to be careful how i word things to him.

Incognito

My ex won't accept that things are over between us completely, it's like he can't hear it no matter how clear I've been.

I bet being served divorce papers would force him to realize differently.

What is his position with custody of the 1 year old? As I think you are moving a considerable distance away, will your 'ex' expect shared custody?

With regard to the rental house, as mentioned, I doubt there is any legal requirement within your lease that requires you must be a practising JW. You agreed to a place to live in exchange for rent payments. If the owners have a problem with you no longer attending meetings, then let them break the lease, freeing you to find another place.

Alternately, you likely could find someone else to sublet the house, thereby freeing you to move elsewhere.

22

Things society interferes with

by Jrjw in

i was just lying here thinking about mind control and thought it'd write a list just to see how much the wts does try to control every aspect of people's lives.

some of the things i've come up with are:.

xmas,.

Incognito

Condensing much of your list into two words - time and happiness.

They want to control and consume your entire life. When you have nothing left to contribute, they will then discard you as trash.

Most members give-up, their dreams of who they could be or wish to achieve in this life. They require postponement of dreams, until the 'new system of things', even as the new system, is not assured to JWs but is only a 'hope'.

Unless popular or in the 'Elder' clique, as a lowly JW, you will likely be required to 'forgive' any other JW, regardless of what wrong they do to you or how often they do it. By not forgiving, you are in the wrong. If the situation is reversed, then forgiveness will probably not be extended to you and your 'crime' may be held against you forever.

36

Is it 16?

by Jrjw in

hi can anyone tell me if it's true the society says parents must take their child to meetings until they're 16 even if they don't want to?

my ex is being a pain about me not forcing my 12 year old to be a witness.

he doesn't know i'm becoming inactive at moment so i have to be careful how i word things to him.

Incognito

Jrjw,

As you have no parents, siblings or other relations who are JWs, there really is little reason to put on a pretence of continuing as a JW.

If you stopped attending immediately, even if you DA or were DF'd, you would suffer few negative consequences other than from the congregation members themselves. Since I recall you plan to relocate some distance away in the new year, any negative treatment received from the congregation, will be short lived.

As you have one child with the man you call your 'ex', whether or not you are awarded custody of the child by a judge, is not conditional on your practicing as a JW.

It appears that your ex is harassing you. Suggest changing your mobile number to stop his texts and calls. The only power he has over you, is the power you allow him to have and continue to accept.

58

Don't you think that some people are just better off within the org?

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

this is my first post, i will introduce myself later.

first of all, i must say that english is not my mother tongue (i'm spanish), so excuse me if i make any mistake.. do you think that some people simply can't cope with being outside the jws?

some of them are too worldlyphobic to be around non-jws, too dependent on a fixed set of rules in order to carry on with their lives, too dependent on the hope of paradise and resurrection, too unable to leave their personal comfort zone within the organization.

Incognito

That depends on the definition of 'Better Off'. Just because a person may find the world to be scary and consider the org to be a protection, does not mean that position is healthy, or that membership in the org is really what is best for them.

If a person is over the age of consent and is mentally capable from a legal perspective, they are free to live their life as they choose. While we may love them and wish to remove them from cult control, it comes down to a choice they make for themselves. If they are attempting to force others including myself, to live our lives in the same manner beyond our will then, that is another situation entirely.

76

Hi, all...I'm a faithful JW who is sick of lies about us

by James Donalds in

i was baptized 30 years ago and have been in the faith for over 35 years.. our organization isn't perfect.

but i'm sick to death of seeing stereotypes about us.

we are not mindless automatons.

Incognito

There are doctors, lawyers, CEOs and other 'professionals' who are JWs. These are an exception, not the common membership of the JW religion.

JWs often tend to point-out these exceptions and famous JWs as a means to give legitimacy and normalcy to the religion.

JWs with means, who contribute financially to the org, often 'get away' with behaviour that other, less able JWs could never do. There are however, numerous JWs who lead double lives, doing as they please in secret. This begs the question, if they really believe it is the true religion chosen by God, since God can see all things, who do they think they are fooling by keeping their behaviour hidden from men?

With regard to JWs walking away to become ex-JWs, those who try to lead separate lives, are often harassed by Elders. If an ex-JW does anything not approved by the organization even years after leaving, they will typically be summoned to a judicial committee and will likely be DFd.

32

Confused

by Kas12 in

i am 12 years old and im confused because my mam is leaving the truth after 12 years and i want to celebrate xmas but she still doesnt believe that should do it coz even though shes realised society has lied about things she still believes in god.

im unsure whether i believe in god or not but i havent really looked into it much ..

Incognito

Since you are 12 and you say your mom has been a JW for the same amount of time, she probably started studying when she was pregnant. When there is a major change in a person's life such as a baby, people often start to question the meaning of life and if there is a God. That is a great time for JWs to convert that person since JWs will have answers to all of the person's questions. With a baby coming, your mom will more easily want to do what they tell her God requires to 'save' her baby.

Watchtower claims the world as a dangerous and scarry place under rule of Satan the Devil. As such, all the world is against JWs and so will persecute and kill them. For many JWs, the thought the organization being wrong will not even be considered.

Congratulations to your mom for taking the initial step, progressing to actual investigate using information other than provided by WT.

Is your mom also posting on this discussion board?

23

1st month of fading

by Jrjw in

i'm nearly at the end of my first month of becoming inactive.

only my daughter knows.

i've had a cold half of the month so no questions or pressure has been put on me yet.

Incognito

In support to DOC's suggestion, you could attend a Cong some distance away from the territory where you actually moved to. Attend a few meetings on an irregular basis but request to have your publisher card moved there.

Claim a job transfer requires some evening and weekend training which may result in irregular attendance initially. If asked for your address, claim you currently reside in a temporary apt/house until you find something more suitable and permanent.

Since you mentioned moving yet again, it won't be too odd initially when you don't further attend. They will then probably expect to receive a request to further forward your publisher card. If you attend that cong only a few times, they probably will soon forget what you even look like.

By doing this, you shouldn't need to actually move 2X. Because no one in your actual location Cong knows you, you should likely be able to disappear without looking over your shoulder.

32

Confused

by Kas12 in

i am 12 years old and im confused because my mam is leaving the truth after 12 years and i want to celebrate xmas but she still doesnt believe that should do it coz even though shes realised society has lied about things she still believes in god.

im unsure whether i believe in god or not but i havent really looked into it much ..

Incognito

But, she can't be researching everything all at once, only the things that are most important to her. Even if she finds information that contradicts JW teachings, that doesn't mean she will right away accept the new information. After being a JW for sometime and in being required to fight against opposition, contradictory info is often confusing and is usually first rejected. The process of becoming an ex-JW often can take years, sometimes decades.

Although it may be frustrating for you now, please remember, your mom by leaving the religion, has opened the door a little to you being potentially able to celebrate Christmas. If she hadn't allowed herself to consider leaving that religion, you would have no hope of celebrating, at least until you are old enough to move out and start making your own decisions, with the potential of being shunned by your own mother.

32

Confused

by Kas12 in

i am 12 years old and im confused because my mam is leaving the truth after 12 years and i want to celebrate xmas but she still doesnt believe that should do it coz even though shes realised society has lied about things she still believes in god.

im unsure whether i believe in god or not but i havent really looked into it much ..

Incognito

Religion is separate from beliefs.

While your mom maybe leaving the religion, that doesn't mean she right away stops believing at least some of the teachings are true.

I have difficulty understanding when some new members first start posting here, say they just left the JW religion so they can now celebrate Xmas and birthdays. That seems to signify they didn't celebrate those things, not because they believed them to be wrong, but only be accepted in the JW religion.

I can however understand a person leaving the religion, doing their own research, and then deciding it is their choice whether to celebrate those things or not.

Your mom started being taught over 12 years ago that those celebrations we're considered by God to be wrong and unacceptable, meaning God will kill her if she does them. Those fears and programing are not going to change overnight but will take some time IF she allows that to happen. Perhaps she will eventually do her own research, and then feel comfortable to reconsider her beliefs including what she now believes about those celebrations.