Posts by Incognito

28

I'm getting disfellowshipped

by raven in

hi everyone, a bit of an update here on my continuing disaster of a situation.. (refer to my previous posts for the full story) my mom met with me yesterday for dinner, it was nice.. however, she brought up the fact that because i live with my boyfriend and how everything has gone down, i will be disfellowshipped.. i think the elders basically have enough proof of this.. due to the anonymous tipper (still have no clue who it was, i live in another town 100's of miles away from my old congregation territory), and my mom telling them.

i'm not sure when they will announce it, or if they will contact me prior.. at this point i feel so emotionally dead i don't care- on the other hand, i don't want to be disfellowshipped because i do not want to loose a relationship with my mom.

that is the whole reason i tried fading out.. .

Incognito

I know that JW elders think they are exempt from adhering to people's rights, you are an adult subject to an expectation to privacy.

I suspect your mother made-up the story but if the elder's did divulge that information without an official announcement, they need to be taken to task legally over discussing private and disparaging information with others which includes your mother. They have no cause other than hearsay as they haven't spoken to you on the matter.

In court, they claim clergy privilege over not providing private information to the court even when they discuss private details to other elders, the CO and WT.

The change from announcing to the congregation the specific reason for disfellowshipping, to announcing 'conduct unbecoming a christian' and then changing to 'so-and-so is no longer considered a JW', is not without reason.

Don't be down but become angry and have your say through a lawyer over how your privacy and good name are being trampled-on and disregarded.

Perhaps if you mention to your mother that you plan to take legal action against the elders, she will fess-up that she made-up the story.

18

FYI My JW mom and Alzheimer's

by scary21 in

jw
friends

one year ago today my mom passed away.

she was 91 years old.

it has been really hard on me because i never expected what happened, to.have happened.

Incognito

Alzheimer disease is only one form of dementia but because it is the most common, the various types are often lumped together under the one name, similar to calling all brands of tissue - 'Kleenex'. Each type have similarities but have differing symptoms, behavior patterns and speed of progression.

A PET scan can give some indication to the dementia type but may not be definitive and the procedure maybe upsetting to the patient. As there is no treatment procedure for any type of dementia, a scan is not often bothered with.

Elderly people are also susceptible to urinary tract infections which can cause extreme changes in behavior, which include often severe confusion and forgetfulness and so may appear to be a dementia condition. Behavior change can be brought on as suddenly as turning on a light switch.

Having been a caregiver to a close relative with dementia, I can relate to Rebelfighter's and your experience and offer my respect, sympathy and condolences to you and all those dealing with these illnesses.

51

Help needed: transgender people and other unclear topics

by TeaBiscuit in

first of all, i am not quite sure whether this is the right place to ask my questions.

if this is not really appropriate, please tell me in advance, but i really did not know who to turn to, so i thought why not ask the internet... now, i know many of you are apostates and i'm not really looking for "leave it all behind you" answers, but really for experiences, thoughts and ideas... as well as maybe some verses if you can think of any.. anyway, first things first.

since this is very anonymous and i'd like to keep it that way, i will not give you my name, but still, i think some background info might be helpful.

Incognito

I did not want to upset or even hurt any of you.

This group is highly diversified and resilient so I doubt anyone would be offended if your questions are sincere and respectful. Although most of this group are ex-JWs, there is nothing for anyone here to win or loose in answering your questions honestly.

While you may expect your questions to receive truthful answers from JWs, if the true answer doesn't reflect positively on the organization, then the answer may be vague, not completely truthful or there maybe a change of subject so your question may not receive an answer.

Now is the proper time to ask questions. After baptism is too late as you are then considered to have forever committed your life to the organization. If you think JW baptism is a dedication to God, review the 2 vows every candidate must verbally confirm just before changing clothes to enter the baptism pool.

Your answer on Bible study confirms that you did not actually study the Bible but only books giving WT interpretations including their opinion on what the bible is saying.

You previously mentioned that you started preparing the questions to ready yourself for baptism. Where in the bible does it even suggest that answering questions is a requirement for baptism? If that was God's requirement, wouldn't the bible clearly state that?

I'm not telling you what to believe but I am attempting to help you realize to not blindly accept everything you're shown because it sounds nice or is what you want to hear. You are responsible for yourself and you need to do your own independent research before committing to anything, not just a religion.

51

Help needed: transgender people and other unclear topics

by TeaBiscuit in

first of all, i am not quite sure whether this is the right place to ask my questions.

if this is not really appropriate, please tell me in advance, but i really did not know who to turn to, so i thought why not ask the internet... now, i know many of you are apostates and i'm not really looking for "leave it all behind you" answers, but really for experiences, thoughts and ideas... as well as maybe some verses if you can think of any.. anyway, first things first.

since this is very anonymous and i'd like to keep it that way, i will not give you my name, but still, i think some background info might be helpful.

Incognito

Gender change is not something that is typically discussed within the organization.

Any type of alteration to a person such as tattoos and piercings including ears, is not generally accepted as WT had years ago considered those things as a form of unnatural mutilation. I do not recall WT ever officially changing its position on that matter although I could be mistaken. Little maybe said if the person already had those things before becoming a JW but depending on the congregation elders, if a JW congregant obtained a tattoo or had their child's ears pierced, they could be taken aside to be counseled.

Homosexuality is routinely degraded and is considered within the JW religion as an illness so acceptance as to a person's sexual orientation if not heterosexual, is not accepted.

Females are not permitted to wear pants to the KH (and to some, not truly acceptable anywhere). Likewise, males are not to dress in female clothing, even if for a costume party or a part in a play.

Although I haven't directly answered your question, I think you may appreciate that a gender modification would not be acceptable.

TeaBiscuit said:

that was also the time I started studying the bible with them.

Did you actually study the bible or only WT books that referred to various bible scriptures that were chosen to appear to support the point the book was attempting to make? Perhaps you may wish to go back to re-read those scriptures including the chapter before and after the chosen scripture, to verify what was referred to, is in context.

30

Do you play the lottery?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

for me, i have only purchased just one powerball ticket in my life, that was few years ago and i am thinking about buying some more in the near future.

maybe i should push my luck even more this time.

i am going to buy 10 tickets.

Incognito

Even as a JW, I always considered that if the person can afford to play, I considered it as a personal decision but not something that should be discussed.

While I didn't play as a JW, I have since leaving although initially, was paranoid that any JWs were around that would see.

NVR2L8 said on page 1: but more recent WT articles said that the money was dirty because it is raised through a practice that displeases God.

So, does this mean that if a person (JW or not) won money in the lottery and decided to donate some to WT, WT would then decline the donation as the money was 'dirty'? Don't think so!

70

Someone anonymously tipped the elders?

by raven in

so here an update on my current situation, in a nutshell i've been trying to quietly fade for the past 5 months.. well, my mom somehow found out that i am currently fading and that i live with my boyfriend (for more info on this check my previous posts) i told her yes i live with him and yes i no longer want to be a jw.

anyways, yesterday she met my boyfriend.. awkward.

and after lunch she pulled me aside to tell me that the po came up to her (he was part of my jc when i was reproved) he said to her "someone came to me and said - i cannot say who so they will remain anonymous- but that your daughter is living with someone" my mom confirmed and apparently he told her that i have one week to confess this, and if i don't my parents are obligated to tell them everything.. what kind of nonsense is that?

Incognito

Every action has consequences, sometimes not the ones you are expecting.

I too suspect your mother is the anonymous tipster but doesn't want to admit it.

By attending a JC or even answering their questions, you are then demonstrating that you are accountable to them. Even if you did attend and answer their questions, they would likely still decide to DF you, even if you cry and claim repentance, agreeing to change your entire life to conform to their demands.

If you end-up being disfellowshipped, start to realize it is their club, so membership is entirely by their rules which may change as they see fit.

If your relationship with your mother is your main concern, also realize that it is entirely her choice if she disregards her relationship with her adult daughter, placing the WT cult above her own flesh and blood. If you were to give-in to conditions to be accepted, that will likely result in more conditions being added as time goes-on.

With regard to involving a lawyer, often the threat will be adequate, particularly if the threat is directed at the Elders personally, not at the Cong or the WT.

A legal threat will require the Elders to seek direction from WT but as the threat is not directed at WT or its assets (cong), then WT will often advise the Elders that they are on their own so they may not wish to proceed with the matter especial if you are not identified as a JW in your new area.

Since you no longer live within those elder's congregation territory, why would they wish to stick their necks-out as legal action would require a legal defense. If WT is not backing them, legal costs would be entirely at each individual elder family's personal expense.

52

What's your favourite feel good movie ?

by jhine in

maybe it's time for a less serious thread .

i have just finished watching dirty dancing ( again ) .

what is your feel good movie , the one that makes you smile and cry happy tears ?

Incognito

A few already mentioned including:

French Kiss

Spanglish

Love Actually

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Moonstruck

Not to cry over but good for a laugh:

Young Frankenstien

Princess Bride

38

Be careful what you wish for (in case you want to wake up your spouse)

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i want to spare you a long post about my background.

because this topic is about something else.a small information is that i knew ttatt before i got married.

but then i somehow pushed it back for quite some time because i didnt want to change my life and it was convenient to instantly meet new people when you move into a new city.couple of years into my marriage and seeing all the changes in the jw my thirst for ttatt resurfaced.

Incognito

Suggest consulting a marriage counselor if you both wish to attempt to save the marriage. If she doesn't wish to continue, then you have your answer so any attempt to force the marriage to continue, will probably result in two unhappy people and an eventual separation/divorce.

Even if she refuses to talk to a marriage counselor, perhaps a few sessions would be beneficial for you even if you go alone.

21

I`m on Windows 10 and my mouse keeps dying , any suggestions ? what to do ?

by smiddy in

hi friends.. as the op states lately my mouse keeps dying on me while i`m in the middle of typing a post or whatever and so i lose all that i have laboured to type.. i keep resurrecting the mouse but now it`s dying more frequently .. any suggestions on how to get around this problem , or am i flogging a dead mouse ?.

i await your suggestions.. smiddy.

Incognito

Windows 8.0, 8.1 didn't have a Start button. The Start button was 'reinstated' in Win 10.

150

I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i know i've started similar topics before but this time i'm serious.

my parents have been constantly pressuring me and after yesterday's watchtower study they asked me if i was going to be baptized this summer... and i said yes.

i probably should have thought about it more before making a final decision, but they're pretty much forcing me to do it anyway.

Incognito

I know that getting baptized is a bad decision but I had an incident last year that I really, really don't want to repeat.

While I won't speculate what the incident was, what makes you think it won't be repeated after you are baptized? If it was repeated after baptism, if caught, it would likely result in more extreme 'punishment' by not only your parents but also by every JW on the planet.

I would suggest discussing with your parents that as Jehovah only wants followers that do so willingly out of love and desire to please him, would it be acceptable to Jehovah if you were forced into baptism due to their constant pressure and threats of punishment?

As baptism is a lifelong promise and commitment to God, how is it that you are mature enough to make that commitment when you aren't legally old enough to commit to another person, or to drink alcohol?

Your parents likely don't even permit you to decide how late to stay out or what clothes or hair style you can wear.