Posts by Incognito

33

New, but needed to vent- thank you :-)

by Danni Jackson in

i discovered your website this morning as i was trying to find some information about 'marking'.

you see a very close friend of mine was 'marked' earlier this week and as i know the ins and outs of the situation (as we are close friends) i disregarded the talk immediately as i know my friend is obviously having issues but is no way a 'danger' to anybody else's spiritual health.

basically they are dating a non-believer- hence the talk.

Incognito

Hi Danni,

Another welcome to you!

It's telling that you come here to vent and express your personal opinions, having recognized and accepted you can't have a similar discussion with your brothers & sisters from the kingdom hall. I see Steve2 posted similar.

Her reasoning being that one of her friends was not baptised at the time of the marriage and the others fiancé was studying at the time.

So exceptions are made not due to love or other christian principles, but are rationalized when desired because of a 'technicality'. Obviously, these rationalizations don't sit well with you otherwise, you would not have mentioned the prior matters and would not be experiencing distress about the marking of your friend.

so this is my first experience of hypocrisy in the truth. And I am really struggling with it. Now I am not really here to change my religion as I did do a lot of research into the 'watchtower' earlier on in my study

Did your prior research reveal 'marking', 'disfellowshipping', 'theocratic warfare', 'WT child abuse procedures' or what happens to any JW who disagrees with any of these matters or does not adhere to behavior dictated? If you were not aware of of these matters, what else did your research fail to identify? Did your research include information beyond the literature published by WT?

I believe you are a good person who wants to do what is right. Jesus examples regard personal beliefs and behavior, not those dictated by men as being acceptable. The bible indicates Jesus was opposed to the scribes and pharisees yet the Watchtower's Governing Body have set themselves as the modern day equivalent.

26

Utah Jehovah’s Witnesses church forced woman to listen to audio of her rape, lawsuit says

by AndersonsInfo in

http://www.sltrib.com/news/4465861-155/woman-sues-utah-jehovahs-witnesses-church.

utah jehovah’s witnesses church forced woman to listen to audio of her rape, lawsuit says.

a woman is suing a jehovah's witnesses church in weber county after, she says, one of its instructors repeatedly raped her when she was a minor and the organization's leadership forced her to listen to an audio recording of one of the assaults.. the woman filed the lawsuit wednesday in 2nd district court, accusing the kingdom hall of jehovah's witnesses church in roy — as well as naming the alleged perpetrator, several church leaders and the watchtower bible and tract society (the religion's headquarters located in new york) — of knowingly allowing the "unfit" instructor to rise to a position of authority without warning members of his "dangerous propensities" and past sexual transgressions.. read more: http://www.sltrib.com/news/4465861-155/woman-sues-utah-jehovahs-witnesses-church.

Incognito

Too bad she is only suing for $300,000. That is not enough of a punishment and surely is not enough compensation. - rebel8

I expect she would need to base her lawsuit on estimated damages or losses incurred. If she is successful in her original legal action, punitive damages can likely be awarded by the jury or Judge even though not specified within the original action.

28

Another "good" elder might be getting the axe....

by humblepotato in

jw
friends

so our congregation is full of hardliner elders, 3 of them, who are not gentle, kind or loving.. people have either moved away or quit trying because one elder inparticular was going to drive them crazy with all his rules and nit picking and being righteous over much.

(and he is pissed that he hasn't been accepted to the school.

hmmm, i wonder why!).

Incognito

Being removed as an elder maybe the best thing that could happen for him.

If he is as reasonable as you claim, he may awaken to the lack of love and compassion shown to his daughter, himself and other members of the cong. His removal may also cause some dissension within that congregation. Let's hope.

I think some reasonable people (elders & regular JWs) believe they can influence positive change from within. Ray Franz was a prime example of opposition displayed against someone attempting to change viewpoint and policy from within. As a member of the GB and with a highly influential Uncle also a GB member, Ray likely had the highest potential to influence positive changes yet consider how he was treated. How much less success would a lowly elder or regular R&F witness have in influencing change?

22

Feeling very lonely

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

the past few months i've been feeling really depressed and kind of hopeless.

the few people that actually were a little bit friendly to me at the hall recently moved away, and i'm feeling like more of an outcast than i already was.

every meeting i just stand by myself by the wall and nobody cares, i feel really lonely and unloved.

Incognito

I don't even ride horses anymore because the trainer at the barn I went to was really mean and bitchy towards me.

This may not have anything at all to do with you but this person may have had an earlier incident or a personal matter that was bothering them. If you have the ability and opportunity to do what you enjoy, don't stop that because of an isolated incident.

If the trainer's behavior continues as you experienced, ask what her/his issue is. If there is an issue, it can't be resolved unless you are also aware.

18

What if Jesus Christ was not put to death by the Romans but instead died a natural death?

by deegee in

according to christianity, the death of jesus was a miscarriage of justice.

so then, what if there was no so-called miscarriage of justice so that jesus was not put to death by the romans but he instead died a natural death?

would christians still receive the forgiveness of their sins and their hoped for salvation?.

Incognito

selling wooden tables, chairs, pipe racks ...

I read that strangely and must be experiencing dyslexia - I thought it said "Crack Pipes" -

40

Question about an elder and if I am crazy

by life is to short in

ok so i have a question.

i was a very, very true believer until i saw the child molesters in my hall and how that whole thing was handled.. my husband is older than i am and had been an elder for 12 when we married.

so fast forward to 06, we are in a hall where i thought all the elders were ok at the worst and great at the best.

Incognito

LITS,

Yes, this situation and religion is crazy - NOT YOU!

Although everything you said to the Elders and others at the hall is all true, they don't want to hear it and will NEVER want to hear it as it is upsetting to their concept of their True paradise religion.

They will never give you praise for pointing out their shortcomings or errors, so stop expecting a positive reaction. You will never receive it from them.

You can't control or change how others will react to a matter. The only change you can effect is your own.

You appear to feel guilty and responsible for your husband's deletion as an Elder which is likely affecting your ability to speak frankly with him. You also appear to be looking for others, anyone, to validate your ideas, actions and value as a person. These are self worth issues which are understandable given your background but these and trust issues need to be addressed by your therapist.

Regardless of how others react, your thoughts and ideas are equally as valid as anyone's.

You are a valued member of society and a good person! Stop thinking of yourself as less.

If your current therapist is not helping YOU, then find an alternate therapist who you feel comfortable with and can trust, that you evaluate is helping you and effecting positive change.

You mention looking at the dictionary for the definition of harassment. Since the elder's actions are affecting you, regardless of the dictionary definition, do YOU consider his actions to be harassment? How you feel is most relevant.

If his actions persist, you may wish to pursue pressing harassment charges or obtaining a Restraining Order against him. He is not your friend as a true friend would not treat you in the manner he has.

While you refer to being trapped in a prison, the door has been unlocked for some time. It's time to leave, both mentally and physically.

27

DEATH: How have you prepared? Funeral, cremation, donate body to Science?

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

well, hell!.

i had dizzy spells and near-fainting and nausea for a few days, so why wouldn't i start thinking about death, ya know?.

am i just very lax in my responsibilities in having no plans at all?isn't that irresponsible?

Incognito

Some people often think that because they don't own or have much, they don't need a will. Everyone needs a will if only to appoint an Executor and to state what you want to happen with your body after you're gone.

Without an Executor, who will arrange your funeral or burial/cremation or arrange for the donation to science? Your will would clarify what you define as science as an Executor would need that direction.

Likewise, someone needs to file your final tax return and notify the government of your death. If you don't arrange an Executor while you are alive, it creates a big mess after you're gone as that responsibility does not necessarily automatically fall to your next of kin.

Many rely on their spouse to carry-out their wishes. Consider that spouses are often together and if involved in a serious car wreck, a surviving spouse maybe incapacitated and not able to act as Executor for their deceased partner.

30

I need to know more on why its a problem for me dating a JW girl.

by seekinghelpp in

ok not to throw no shade or no disrespect to the jw religion.

which i truly do respect because my girlfriend is part of but i just don't understand, i have researched so much about it.

so much about how its discouraged for her to be with me just cause of different religion.

Incognito

Cult members are in a constant state of conflict as the beliefs taught mess with their heads. Most on this board are ex-JWs and have first hand experience which is why it would be smart for you to pay attention to the advice provided even as it is not what you want to hear.

This girl maybe able to give in to her desire to have you as a boyfriend now, but the religion's teachings will at some point overwhelm her and will create much confusion, family conflict and guilt and so will create drama in your relationship. Major life events (marriage, birth of a child, loss of a loved one) and world disasters will often be a trigger to more closely follow the teachings, often in an obsessive manner. She will push for you to become a JW in an attempt to make things right with Jehovah.

While you may think you can eventually get her to leave the religion, unless leaving is fully her idea, there is high likelihood that the teachings will always remain with her and she will return to it, with or without you.

30

I need to know more on why its a problem for me dating a JW girl.

by seekinghelpp in

ok not to throw no shade or no disrespect to the jw religion.

which i truly do respect because my girlfriend is part of but i just don't understand, i have researched so much about it.

so much about how its discouraged for her to be with me just cause of different religion.

Incognito

First you claim to respect the JW faith, but then state you hate the religion she is a part of.

Not to discourage you from participating on this forum but ask yourself: Why is it that you can't ask your questions and express yourself to this "girlfriend" directly but find it necessary to discuss the religion with anonymous strangers?

If you can't be yourself around her or speak honestly with her, do you really have much hope you will have anything in common and that an honest and respectful relationship will develop?

16

I've been in love with a Jehovah Witness without knowing it for a long time, he hid it from everyone.

by sakurafeathers in

hello :) so i know this guy for almost 6 years, i met him when i was 15 and i felt in love.

now i’m 21 and he is 22. we were in the same class and got along very well and he seemed to like me too.

when i confessed, face to face he haven't admitted and he haven't denied it and he acted like he liked me too but couldn't be with me because reasons bigger than him, but i was too young to understand and he was young to handle the pressure he had.

Incognito

While you have been seemingly more than casual friends for upwards of 6 years, your reluctance to be even seen by his parents and brother seems to imply they don't even know you exist and you realize that your presence would cause a huge problem.

Isn't it extremely strange that someone who is supposedly so important to him, is not known to his immediate family? You are being treated as a non-person yet, you continue to accept that treatment.

While you infer you want to move-on to find someone else, your statement: 'But he was supposed to let me free to move on and find a future for myself ...' implies he is in full control and you are helpless.

Regardless of whether or not this relationship has any hope to continue, take control of yourself... for your own self worth, health and happiness.

Are these self-worth issues a result of treatment by him?

While he implies wanting to delay until older, you are both over 21 so, how old is old enough? You are now adults and don't need anyone else to give permission to establish a relationship, or to at least talk in-person.

He appears to be postponing any commitment to either move forward or to end the relationship, giving you a false hope of a potential future with him.

Find someone who is worthy of your love and is proud to be in a relationship with you.