Posts by Incognito

31

I need some advice please

by JaMu in

i am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.

most of the relationship has been long distance.

when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.

Incognito

Almost 5 years together, yet his parents and family only learned of you 2 months ago? WOW, there is a relationship with a future.

You state that you really do LOVE him but ... you come here expressing concern on how he treats you. How can you honestly say you love him? When a couple first start dating is typically when they are on their best behavior. If he's already treating you badly, what will he be like if the relationship continues?

I think you love the idea of a guy friend and have been putting-up with unacceptable behavior just to continue the pretense of a guy friend relationship.

As was previously implied, if he really wanted to be with you, he would move mountains to be with you every second possible.

I kinda like the suggestion of confronting (and even dumping) him at his KH.

edited to add: his parents will be looking at you as a potential convert which will be why their reaction was claimed to be not so negative. I suspect in reality, they reacted more strongly than was indicated to you.

31

I need some advice please

by JaMu in

i am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.

most of the relationship has been long distance.

when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.

Incognito

You have received good advice but I suspect you may at first want to make excuses for his unacceptable behavior with lots of 'Yes, but...'. Don't. You deserve to be the primary focus and interest to your guyfriend, not someone constantly begging to be recognized.

Even if he promises to leave the religion for you, don't fall for it. There have been plenty that have done that, only to return later, after being shunned by their JW family or feeling guilty for having left. If he doesn't leave for recognizing the religion (cult) is a sham for himself, he is too likely to return. You can't lead him away.

If a relationship doesn't progress to marriage within ~1.5 years, it is likely not going to. In your case, you are fortunate that it didn't as you now have opportunity to find someone deserving of you, without having to divorce or the complexities children bring.

I suspect that if you're honest with yourself, you came to realize before posting here that the future of the relationship is doomed, but was hoping that someone here would assure you that it isn't.

35

February 13, 2017 BOE Re: Memorial and Special Talk

by wifibandit in

february 13, 2017 to all bodies of elders re: memorial and special talk.

Incognito

Just as entertainers often tell their fans they LOVE them, it's more about loving the adoration, attention and money those fans provide.

35

February 13, 2017 BOE Re: Memorial and Special Talk

by wifibandit in

february 13, 2017 to all bodies of elders re: memorial and special talk.

Incognito

Or wait, the GB just got a check from Jared for $453 million. That'll do.

That won't do. No amount of money is ever enough. Give more! Give more!

90

Day 5 - Fessler vs. Watchtower – Ends: Plaintiff settles in Jehovah’s Witness Child Abuse Trial

by darkspilver in

day 5 in court - and apparently the plaintiff stephanie fessler has decided to settle..... http://www.pennlive.com/news/2017/02/jehovahs_witness_sexual_abuse.html.

jehovah's witness sexual-abuse-coverup lawsuit settled.

february 13, 2017 at 2:37 pm, updated february 13, 2017 at 2:44 pm.

Incognito

While it would be great to be able to proceed with trial on a matter of principle, successful civil actions are won based on a financial award.

Part of the plaintiff's lawyer's job is to advise his/her client on the probability of winning an action and the potential amount of money to be awarded or lost in case of an unfavorable court decision.

If WT made an offer to settle, the plaintiff's lawyer would be required to make the offer known to the plaintiff along with providing advice on accepting the offer and any conditional requirements with that offer. If the offer is substantial and as the plaintiff would incur no further legal expenses for an immediate guaranteed settlement amount, the lawyer would likely recommend accepting the offer with no further court involvement. Proceeding with trial based on principle may end-up further costing the plaintiff financially, even if he/she and their lawyer feel they have a good and provable case. A favorable court decision can never be assured.

21

Is the Mid Week Meeting shorter or longer than before they stopped doing the book study at homes?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

any takers?.

Incognito

Freddo,

Then we were misinformed. Our Elders had striven to finish within 1hr 30 - 1hr 35 on a usual basis. Lucky us, unless the final prayer turned into another talk.

21

Is the Mid Week Meeting shorter or longer than before they stopped doing the book study at homes?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

any takers?.

Incognito

When we were attending prior to bookstudy being tacked on, the Min School/Service meeting was officially to be 1.5 hours.

From comments above, the combined time now appears to be 1:75 - 2 hours.

Growing up in this 'religion', Min School/Service meeting was originally 2 hours duration but due to those that take more than their allotted time and for those giving loooooong closing prayers, by the time Ahmen was said, it was often 2.25 + hours. With a 7:30 start time, it was typically well after 10pm before we departed for home on a school night.

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

Incognito

As ministers of a church, it is their obligation for the greater good of the congregation and public at large, to report incidents of criminal behavior. The offender remains able to re-offend not only that victim, but others as well.

From your opening post, you stated: "But I'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled."

It appears you are really not interested in knowing or understanding other poster's thoughts. Instead of quietly considering feedback provided, you continually disregard, debate and oppose those views. No matter what is stated, you take exception when it doesn't support your viewpoint or the interests of WT.

I think many here, similar to me, are done responding to you.

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

Incognito

The correct answer in this case is no you wouldn't - it is and should be entirely up to the victim.

If the 'victim' didn't want the matter pursued, what would be the purpose of that person now reporting the matter to the elders?

There should be a stated policy to the congregation that any sexual assault or abuse reported to the elders, will be reported to authorities. It is then the 'victim's' decision if he/she wishes to report the matter to elders, knowing in advance the elders will report the incident to authorities.

When there is a crime committed, it is not an option for the victim whether or not the matter is investigated and the purp is prosecuted. The only decision a victim may be able to make is whether or not the crime is reported, to anyone. Once reported to elders, then responsibility is transferred to elders if the victim is not willing to report to authorities themself.

17

The great R.B.C rip off!!!

by karter in

jw
friends

i was on a job last week and the p.o from my old congro was there and told me they had just re modled the k.h.the r.b.c quoted them $240.000 they did it for $120.000 so why the big diffrence in price??

?.

Incognito

"Theocratic direction" now is that the LDC makes ALL decisions about if / when a new Kingdom Hall is needed.

Previous to the LDC was the RBC who it seemed, had similar 'authority'.

I recall one congregation I had been associated with previously. While a high percentage if not a majority of the cong voted to renovate the existing building, everyone was told by the elders that the RBC decided a new building was needed, so that was how it was to proceed. It was that cong's members that were then paying the associated costs even as the payment of regular monthly expenses was often questionable.

Perhaps the old RBC could only offer recommendations or advice while the local elders & CO may have been able to accept or ignore that advice, IDK.

Doesn't matter if they have raised a million dollars; if they try to build a KH without LDC input they will be disciplined for "not following theoratic direction".

If everything over $5K is "donated" to WT (as regularly audited by the CO), they then would not have any local money to do anything major.