Posts by Incognito

45

I'm getting disfellowshipped

by Letty in

hi everyone i'm 19 year old and i've been a jehovahs witness for 3 years now.

i've followed the rules and i'm even a pioneer.

but i've hid the secret of a boyfriend i had from india.

You seemed to have jumped to the worst case scenario. You haven't yet discussed the situation with anyone but are already stating you are being disfellowshipped. From what you described, it doesn't sound as though you have actually done anything physical to be DF'd for.

Consider the JW 2 witness rule and use it to your advantage

Explicit photos and text will work as proof (a witness) against you to support any potential action they might consider. Delete the texts, emails and whatever you are keeping to eliminate this witness and therefore weaken any allegations against you. While your parents may have seen the texts, you are an adult and any meeting with Elders will be you alone without your parents. Deny, Deny, Deny. Your word against theirs especially if they have no proof to present.

Your opening post said "But I've hid the secret of a boyfriend I had from india."

You said "I had" which is a past tense statement. Continue using past tense when questioned.

45

Padron Case Settled. What happens to the fine?

by Slidin Fast in

it seems that irwin zalkin has obtained undisclosed settlement in the case.

the $4000 a day fine then seems to be dead.

the downside?

Incognito

As the $4000/day was ordered as a penalty by the court for failure to produce documents, would that penalty be paid to Padron or to the court? If to be paid to the court, I would not expect Padron or lawyer Zalkin to have authority to decide if it will be waved or not.

Even if the penalty and requirement to produce were waved in this instance, I expect the same issues will arise again during another case yet to occur.

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

Incognito

No prob Steve,

This from IC's 2nd post on page 1

I'm a woman too, explaining why this Elder asked me to give the disfellowshipped woman a ride rather than ask a Brother

24

Am I losing my mind or am I being stalked?

by Michigan22 in

jw
friends

hi everyone, this is my first post.

i studied the bible weekly with a wonderful jw.

i suddenly stopped because things just seemed to be getting stranger.

Incognito

Your question is: What do they gain?

They count and report the time knocking on doors and the literature they place or leave at the doors. This is the same with the time spent with you in studying JW religion. The hours reported show how 'spiritual' the JW is.

Unfortunately, there are not many perks for a JW woman so about the most she can qualify as is called a 'Pioneer' which means she will have a quota of hours to spend in preaching each month. Most JWs are not Pioneers but are called Publishers. Publishers do not have a quota but are expected to report at least the national average of hours preaching (usually 10 hours/month).

If a baptised male JW consistently attains the national average, he may then qualify for additional congregation 'privileges' (prestige of position) as a Ministerial Servant and then Elder.

A 'study' (ie: you) who becomes baptised, allows some additional bragging rights for the JW who studied with you and maybe considered to be an indication of God's blessing on them.

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

Incognito

You are an adult female who gets to decide who you will allow or are comfortable in allowing in your vehicle. No excuses are necessary. You don't need to stop to explain to each hitchhiker you see as to why you will not give them a ride, so to in this situation, you don't know this person. Although she may attend your KH, she has been deemed by your elders as an un-acceptable JW which you must accept without question. Throw their rules back on them.

Edit to add: I expect the elders expectation will be that you don't converse even while alone in the vehicle. She would likely be expected to get in and say nothing, as would you for the entire trip, there and back. How uncomfortable would that situation be?

24

Am I losing my mind or am I being stalked?

by Michigan22 in

jw
friends

hi everyone, this is my first post.

i studied the bible weekly with a wonderful jw.

i suddenly stopped because things just seemed to be getting stranger.

Incognito

Welcome.

If you reevaluate the situation, I think you will realize your study was not a 'bible study' but was the reading of JW publications which use the JW bible to support the information being presented.

Most of us on this forum are ex-JWs who have come to realize the JW religion as a cult.

Your 'Wonderful' JW study conductor invested effort and time to convert you, and it is inconceivable that your study conductor could have done anything to cause you to stop your study. JW's refer to the religion as "The Truth". You deciding to stop then means to her/him that the devil is placing pressure on you so that you will not know "The Truth". She/he may be stalking you or asking others to, to identify activities and interests which have caused you to 'turn away' from "The Truth".

Once some activities are recognized, expect your conductor or other JW to call on you with information on how those activities are taking your time away from learning 'The Truth'.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

think maybe I need to slowly back away from the situation. See him less. Text him less

There is no need to go 'slowly' about it. If you have told him to back off, then you need to ensure cutoff of all further contact and do not respond to calls, texts or further meetups.

You can't control if he will or won't comply with your demands. This is not a request but is a demand. If he continues to pursue contact, then I expect you will have grounds for a Restraining or No-Contact order whereas if you continue to give-in to him, then that will show you are not serious that you want no further contact with him.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

I just read through most other posts.

While he is placing conditions on you for your relationship to advance, you must study JW beliefs and eventually become a full-fledged JW yourself. He may not have said that directly, but make no mistake, that is what is intended.

Have you placed similar conditions on him for your relationship to continue or do you accept him as he is?

Why is it he doesn't accept you as you are but you must meet and study with his mother, to become a potential convertee? Have you asked him to attend your church or become a member of your religion? I expect if you made even one request to him, his reaction wouldn't be as accepting as your reaction has been.

You have been provided much useful information here. This includes learning of JW negativity against a JW dating anyone who is not a JW. Also in learning it is a disfellowshipping offence to have premarital sex with anyone, JW or not.

Have you asked him why he wants you to become JW when he doesn't adhere the religion's rules and requirements himself? If he gives an excuse that he isn't actually yet baptised as a JW, that is a BS excuse as a person does not need to be baptised to hold and follow beliefs they genuinely consider to be true.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

Welcome to the forum Sunnybear:

I haven't read through the entire thread to see if anyone had said the same.

You asked: I asked him if I was his girlfriend?

He told you "I love you. You are my best friend. But I don't think a marriage would work between us. I don't want to ruin what we have by making this a relationship."

Didn't this JW 'boyfriend' already answer your question? :if he is not interested in a future and is just having fun with me.

28

Solicitors Visit Update

by pale.emperor in

in case you're not aware of my last two threads:.

the situation that arose in that my mother has been having secret access to my daughter and refusing to tell me how she is: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here.

the build up to my solicitors visit: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/6284953638666240/solicitors-appontment-tomorrow-advice-appreciated.

Incognito

Congratulations on obtaining the advice you need in your legal standing, and for getting your wife to agree that visitation with your mother and sister must now be arranged through you.

As you have control and authority, suggest as conditions for your mother, her husband and your sister to continue visitation, the time:

Shall not involve religious discussion, instruction, or influence
Shall not involve attendance at kingdom hall or other JW functions
Shall not involve discussion regarding your or your exes lack of attendance at meetings, acceptability to God or the organization, or your personal relationships with others
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding holidays, birthdays and other celebrations
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding activities you or your ex have arranged for you daughter to attend or participate in
You are to be consulted before they remove your daughter from their premises
You are to be immediately notified upon any injury or incident