... it’s been about 4 months since I woke up.
Sometimes fear gets the best of me. I guess because everything is up in the air and I don’t know where it will all end, it honestly terrifies me.
As a JW, you likely put your full trust and beliefs in everything they claimed. They appeared to have all the answers which on some levels, can be very comforting.
Unfortunately, their indoctrination is so insidious that attendees do not recognize their thinking process and reasoning is being conditioned and modified with every magazine and book that is read and every study and meeting that is attended. If you were a JW for any amount of time, you can't realistically expect to undo progressive and longstanding indoctrination within a matter of months.
Even as she suffered from advanced dementia and couldn't remember what happened 20 seconds before or do anything for herself, my aunt never forgot what she was programmed to believe as a JW.
While my SO and I have broken away from JWs for more than 15 years, even after all that time, old JW thinking and ideas will sometimes reemerge.
if the worst case scenario happens and my husband remains a JW for the rest of his life,
Just as WT claims that as a JW, a non-beliving spouse may be won over without a word, it can also be true that a non-believing spouse can win over their JW spouse, although this will be crazy difficult due to the cult indoctrination.
As a JW, unless something within the religion negatively affects him personally, he will usually defend and rationalize anything you may say that is critical or proves the religion is not 'The Truth'. Think back about something that doesn't sit well with him in which to further investigate and discuss.