Posts by beebee

13

speaking of jews...

i am pretty sure there are many different (excuse my layman) "denominations" of judaism, but what typically is the hope of a jewish person?

do they believe they are going to heaven?

do they believe in a paradise earth?

beebee

Oops almost forgot - Armaggedon is a Christian thing, there is no basis for it in the OT.

13

speaking of jews...

by in a new york bethel minute in

i am pretty sure there are many different (excuse my layman) "denominations" of judaism, but what typically is the hope of a jewish person?

do they believe they are going to heaven?

do they believe in a paradise earth?

beebee

There are different levels of observance such as:

Reformed - Which is the most liberal. Services are a mixture of English and Hebrew (may vary by congregation) and they usually hold only Sabbath (Friday night and Saturday morning) services, plus holidays. Few members keep Kosher.

Conservative - Middle of the road. May hold daily morning services. Services are predominately in Hebrew with a sprinkling of English for those that don't read Hebrew.

Women have equal power to participate and be ordained Rabbis as men in Reformed and Conservative congregations.

Orthodox - Follows the rules more closely. Most keep kosher and the men engage in daily prayers and wear kipot (the little beanies). They may be Modern Orthodox with short hair but still with the Pais (curlyque sideburns), or they may be more traditional. The Hasidic movement is on the right wing end of Judaism, and within the Hasidic movement there are even more fundamental groups. Women usually sit separately from the men and men do not ever touch a woman that isn't their wife, or their wife if she is unclean (period +7 days), not even a handshake.

There are many segments of each of the above. Like all religious organizations, there's always someone who wants to do things a bit different.

The basics remain the same regardless of level of observancy:

There is 1 G-d and only 1.
Jesus was a mortal and not the son of G-d. The very thought that he might be violates the most basic tenant, there is one and only G-d.
There is no Hell.
There isn't really a Heaven either, at least not in the Christian sense, though G-d lives in Heaven.
You can be forgiven just by asking and being repentent.
If you are born a Jew, you are always a Jew whether you observe or not.
They do not prostelize and discourage gentiles from converting. It's a long process to earn the right to convert. The more fundamental groups may not recognize those that are converted by less observant groups but, to the best of my knowledge, there is no scriptural basis for this discrimination.
Whether or not a baby is Jewish is determined by the mother in a mixed parentage situation.
Baby boys get circumsized at 8 days old in a ceremony, not in the hospital (unless an ill baby)
Boys are recognized as spiritual men at 13 after they have their Bar Mitzvah. The Conservative and Reform movements allow girls the same ceremony but call it a Bat Mitzvah. Those who don't do it at 13 can do it at any point in their life. It allows the participant the right to read from the Torah scrolls on the Sabbath and holidays.

I've never heard the term "paradise earth" used prior to exposure to the Witnesses and I have a pretty extensive Jewish education and was raised in a combination of Conservative and Orthodox traditions.

One of the major differences between Christianity and Judaism (besides the obvious) is that we are taught love and respect for the Lord, not fear. We are encouraged to study, seek out multiple views and DISAGREE if we choose. The culture encourages its members to be well educated and always has. The reason men used to strive to be wealthy was not for the accumulation of things so much as to be able to have more leisure time to study the Torah (first five books of the old testament), the Haftorah, and other scriptual and related texts. The Haftorah, interestingly enough, was created during the Dark Ages and Inquistions when Jews couldn't openly study the Torah. Instead the studied the teaching of the great prophets who relayed the moral teaching via stories. In modern times, a passage from each, the old testament and the haftorah are read each Saturday am, and at the Bar or Bat Mitzvah of a young person.

Hope that helps.

56

to all parents..please please answer...

by gotcha in

hello it's been a long time since i was here just needed some input please from all loving parents...would you rather your daughter be:

1. married to a guy who's not really that great (history of having lotsa women, irresponsible) but seems to love/like your daughter.

2. be gay (with woman who is quite good, responsible and everything but - a woman...).

beebee

Others here have said it but ultimately regardless of what we as mother's want, our children WILL live their own lives and choose their own paths. I, like everyone else here, want my kids to make themselves happy and to be true to themselves. If that means making choices I don't agree with so be it. It is their life, not mine. I'm going through a little bit of that now with my oldest who is graduating high school. I suspect it won't all be peaches and cream for the next few years but I have every confidence she will find her own way. I have raised them to think for themselves.

I guess growing up a Witness discouraged independent thinking. That's a crime, however all any of us can do is look towards changing the future, the past is by definition - history.

Take care and if you need to talk, do consider seeing a real therapist. It is so helpful to talk with a person who is non-judgemental, keeps your discussion in confidence AND is trained to help you find your answers.

56

to all parents..please please answer...

by gotcha in

hello it's been a long time since i was here just needed some input please from all loving parents...would you rather your daughter be:

1. married to a guy who's not really that great (history of having lotsa women, irresponsible) but seems to love/like your daughter.

2. be gay (with woman who is quite good, responsible and everything but - a woman...).

beebee

I want them (I have two teens) to have partners who treat them well, who respect them and offer them the support they need to achieve their dreams. Clearly I'd prefer they be straight, as I think the gay life comes with extra trials and tribulations, however I'd rather they be happy and gay, then miserable and straight. One daughter is definitely straight; one daughter is wondering if she has bisexual desires but so far hasn't had sex at all (she's 16) so she's not sure. She definitely likes boys, how close she wants her relationships with women is the question. We've talked about it.

So I guess my answer would be "gay" if the choices above are the only options.

22

Sometimes ya just need a giggle

by beebee in

too many trolls here lately, y'all need a giggle.

i got an email today with a bunch of funny bumper stickers but this one seemed so appropriate for this board.

seemed like it could apply to door knocking and trolling apostate websites.. okay, i thought i could post the image but i can't because i can't remember my password for ftp to my website (don't ask...lol) and i guess only pictures that can be plugged in have to be links to pics (makes sense now that i know it has to be on some web server).

beebee

Bethel minute you reminded me of a bumper sticker that unfortunately dates me. Back in the mid-70's, when I still lived in Northern California, as the born-again movement really gained momentum someone coined the phrase "I found it" implying they found Jesus, I think (I'm Jewish so I am not wholly clear on which movement is what). That bumper sticker inspired a number of replies including:

I found it and now my finger stink!

I found it under the bed with the dustbunnies.

22

Sometimes ya just need a giggle

by beebee in

too many trolls here lately, y'all need a giggle.

i got an email today with a bunch of funny bumper stickers but this one seemed so appropriate for this board.

seemed like it could apply to door knocking and trolling apostate websites.. okay, i thought i could post the image but i can't because i can't remember my password for ftp to my website (don't ask...lol) and i guess only pictures that can be plugged in have to be links to pics (makes sense now that i know it has to be on some web server).

beebee

Too many trolls here lately, y'all need a giggle. I got an email today with a bunch of funny bumper stickers but this one seemed so appropriate for this board. Seemed like it could apply to door knocking and trolling apostate websites.

Okay, I thought I could post the image but I can't because I can't remember my password for ftp to my website (don't ask...lol) and I guess only pictures that can be plugged in have to be links to pics (makes sense now that I know it has to be on some web server). Anyway..technical issues aside, here's what it says:

Jesus is Coming...... Look Busy

12

Dating Sites

by ballistic in

jw
friends

has anyone tried dating web sites?

i am a member of a famous one, but i am finding it takes so long to get to know someone and the person you finally meet can turn out nothing like you expected.

currently i've been chatting to someone for 6 months - "speed dating" in slow motion!

beebee

There are other options for finding interesting people, however for some time is an issue. As I mentioned above, Tyydyy and I hooked up after he contacted me on Matchmaker, however that isn't where we first met. I am a member of a social and outdoor activity club here in Austin. Basically they put up a calendar of stuff to do ranging from happy hours to hikes, to camping trips, to just about anything you can think of (theater, dinners, biking, etc.). I didn't join to meet a mate as much as to get out and do stuff I like to do. I was new in town at the time and the few friends I had did nothing but drink. I'm not against that, but bar hopping isn't my favorite thing to do and certainly not something I would want to consume my social life.

I joined to meet people and make friends. That is pretty much while people join this sort of club and that I did accomplish there. Interesting professional people, and of course, one special ex-dub. It provided a great environment for meeting possible dating partners because it completely lacks the pressure of having to "feel a connection" that meeting someone in a dating environment creates. You can also spend some time getting to know someone before ever deciding to ask them out. This rules out a lot of candidates with no hurt feelings.

I have found that these types of clubs exist all over the US, in the UK and possibly in major cities in other countries. Some are single interest, like biking; some are outdoors primarily, like Sierra Club (which has chapters throughout the US); and some are for singles only. Some are free to join, some charge a modest fee and some are outrageous. It seems that major cities and clubs with a singles only slant are usually the priciest, however I cannot comment on whether or not they are worth the difference in price as I have no experience there. Some of the pricey clubs do have some pretty cool offerings. I'd just warn to look carefully.

I didn't look to see where you are, but a number of Eastern seaboard cities have chapters of the Appalachian Mountain Club and that one I have heard good things about, and it's cheap - $10 a year I think.

If this sounds like something you would be interested, and you need help finding one near you, PM me and I will let you know if we came across one. We've been doing some research on the industry so we might have a useful link.

Best of luck.

12

Dating Sites

by ballistic in

jw
friends

has anyone tried dating web sites?

i am a member of a famous one, but i am finding it takes so long to get to know someone and the person you finally meet can turn out nothing like you expected.

currently i've been chatting to someone for 6 months - "speed dating" in slow motion!

beebee

The fatties and uglies is bs. Maybe in your realm, but I've done several of the major sites in 3 different cities over more than 5 years and never met up with an ugly man, and only once was the guy a loser who poorly represented himself in his profile (meaning he lied). The only major site I saw with creeps was Yahoo and that was because it was free. Seemed most of the guys on that one were married. Most were quite normal, many were attractive. Of course if you're looking for models or a bunch of really young women you might not find them because most young people have an active social life. The audience is primarily 30+ because that age is busier with jobs and such, many of their friends are married and there are fewer social opportunities to meet singles. Bars usually suck.

Anyway...I am sure others can attest to the overall "normalness" of most people. BTW..I am neither a fatty nor an ugly, of course I have kids which some men consider a strike out. Oh well. No skin off my back.

12

Dating Sites

by ballistic in

jw
friends

has anyone tried dating web sites?

i am a member of a famous one, but i am finding it takes so long to get to know someone and the person you finally meet can turn out nothing like you expected.

currently i've been chatting to someone for 6 months - "speed dating" in slow motion!

beebee

Adultfriendfinder.com is well...not exactly for those seeking friendships. Sexual partners, yes. Meaninful partners..not likely.

I've had pretty good success in the past (currently I am in a relationship, didn't meet him on Matchmaker, however we didn't connect until he found me via that site so it's sort of a result of the website). A few things I found made a big difference.

Post a GOOD head shot. Find one that you look friendly in. I don't know the exact numbers but a picture makes a very significant difference in the numbers of people that contact you or who will respond to your contacts. Don't use one that is too old or a poor representation of yourself. Post a body shot if it's really an asset. (women are less judgemental and honesty is important but why disclose more info than you have to)
Put some effort into your answers. I only responded to people who clearly showed some thought went into what they wanted me to know. The empty profiles told me that either someone was so lacking in confidence they couldn't speak well of themselves, or they didn't care to make the effort. Neither was likely to be a guy I'd find interesting.
Humor is a plus but don't go overboard. A profile that looks like a joke makes me think he has something to hide.
Write to someone, don't use the wink or some other "no effort" first attempt. Brief but either thoughtful or something that gets my attention. Sometimes a silly comment worked, or best results came from those that acknowledged that they actually read my profile (I hated guys that didn't...like the one that hates kids who didn't bother to read I have 3).
I used to make the guys write for ages, then phone calls before agreeing to meet them. This turned out to be a bad way to go for a number of reasons. The first one you already stated, sometimes you build up too high an expectation and then the bubble bursts. Other reasons include the possibility that they'll meet someone else interesting.
I found that if there seemed to be some click in the first few mails it was best to meet and not hold too high an expectation. The pressure of assuming their must be "chemistry" also sets you up for more failures than not. I just wanted to get out and see how well the conversation went. For me, while it is true there are many instances where you know it has absolutely no chance right away, I was always willing to meet someone in the "gray area" for a few times to see if he got more interesting, or gave me reason to stop seeing him.
I tried advertising for friends but that comment seemed to go ignored.

When I lowered my expectations, I ended up with mostly decent meetings with nice guys. Made a few good friends, and had a couple of romances (some do much better but I'm picky).

Also keep your first meeting casual, coffee or another casual, public place. Don't bring anyone home you haven't taken time to meet. Yes, there are psychos out there; give yourself enough time to get a feel for them first.

The one I'm curious about is eharmony. I signed up for the free profile but really only got three names from them in six months, all definitely not what I was looking for and not guys I wanted to meet. I'm curious if anyone has been successful on that one?

Good luck.

87

OK, So I'm thinking about becoming a witness.

by MarkAnthony in

jw
friends

i was raised roman catholic but stopped going about 25 years ago.

i was talking with someone i work with who is a jw and suggested i might look into it.

so here i am.............

beebee

Apparently! you cant really masturbate while thinking of good and wholesome things! (So im told!)

I guess that all depends on how you view sex in general. If you believe that G-d gave us the ability to enjoy procreation (which supposedly few other animals enjoy) and the ability to have sex all the time (versus most mammals that must be in estrus), then you can view sex as a healthy and beautiful gift, even if your religious or other moral boundaries limit sex to marriage. So fantasizing about sex while masturbating needn't be viewed as a dirty thing.

Christianity didn't start out with such restrictive views about sex, all that came in several hundred years later thanks to an obsessive Ceasar (Constantine I think...I'm not Christian so I am by no means an expert on Christianity). Our culture (American) has a strangly obsessive love/hate relationship with sex anyway. Once I got to the point where I excepted it as one of the pleasantries of life and got over the guilt, it sure got a lot more fun.