Posts by Angharad

9

Court Reporter & Dumb Lawyers

by Angharad in

not sure if this has been posted before, but it made me laugh .

these are from a book called disorder in the american courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.. .

q: what is your date of birth?.

Angharad

Not sure if this has been posted before, but it made me laugh

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
_____________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

42

Would Your "Spirit-Directed Conscience"Have Made You Walk Out Of A Movie?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

this was a fairly frequent occurence amongst the brothers and sisters in my young dubby days.

i was heaved out of the cinema on more than one occasion, generally by my mother who reckoned some things were just too much for my innocent young eyes and ears.

i only half saw:.

Angharad

I've never walked out of a movie, but I seem to remember Dirty Dancing causing a bit of a stir in our hall and some saying they walked out of that. All that sexy dancing, terribly immoral and all

We used to watch Dr Who every week in our house, I remember my uncle coming to stay once and he made us turn it off

We had the book study in our house when I was little, I had the mumps one time and remember being in the back room watching Dr Who (times must have changed) while the group was on in the next room I hid behind the couch a couple of times (hey I was only about 6)

108

my transformation, I am showing off here...

by jwbot in

jw
friends

hey all, i just took some "after" pictures today and need to share with my friends.

as some of you know, i lost a bit of weight recently.

(by eating less, eating better and exersizing - it actually works sometimes!)..

Angharad

Congratulations Jwbot ! You look great

38

Please welcome my wife, Gina AKA FreedomFrog

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

hey all,.

gina's got her own account now, she's freedomfrog.

hopefully she'll tear herself away from u.n., blood, birthday, and whatever else research long enough to say 'hi' back!.

Angharad

Hi Freedom Frog !!

Welcome to the forum, cute avatar

14

Big Brother UK - I'm not nornally a prude ... but ...

by Faolan in

jw
friends

apparently, on the next uk big brother, the first contestants to have sex with each other have been offered 50,000 .

i'd be interested to know what other people think!.

claire, x

Angharad

Very tacky

Doesn't suprise me - reality shows have been overdone and overkilled to the point people are sick of them - so they are obviously going for the shock factor to try and keep the audience.

I've never watched BB, seemed so boring to watch 12 people sitting around in a house for 2 weeks, with lots of staged arguements

128

My daughter has a brain tumor :(

by outnfree in

i am so terrified!.

#2 daughter came home from college on 12/18 with a violent headache, nausea, neck pain and great fatigue.

we took her to the dr. on the 20 and again on the 21st as she had kept nothing down for 3 days.

Angharad

(((((Brenda & daughter)))))

Sorry to hear this. Wishing all the best for you both.

Let us know how things go tomorrow

16

Non internet infor on UN scandal..please!

by Gill in

jw
friends

i am a fortunate 'apostate'.

my parents are still speaking to me, regularly, and we also have been discussing jw doctrine.

however, they do not believe anything i tell them about the un scandal and that the wtbts was a member of the un for ten years before being removed by the un.