I'm with LisaRose, why do you feel obliged to let them come over and give in to them. You asked "How can I make them go away?". Well, how do you avoid doing anything else you don't want to do? A simple no will do. No is a complete sentence. They say they want to come over, and you say no. They say why, and you don't have to explain yourself. No, I don't want you to. I so hate the JW entitlement to cross boundaries and push themselves into your life. I like the good old, "don't call me, I'll call you". Or just DA like I did and don't have to ever worry about them intruding again.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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46
The Elders are Coming Help!
by LaurenM inso the elders keep bugging me and pestering me about having a meeting with them to "introduce me to my new congregation" for some reason (do any ex elders know what that even means??).
i keep postponing and making excuses and they are getting more and more aggressive.
i finally agreed for them to come over today, but really don't want to..should i hide from them again?
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17
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ERRRRRRRRRR BODY.!!!
by brandnew injust wanna say.....im thankfull for y'all....n stuff
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dubstepped
We just got back from our first Thanksgiving and it was fantastic. A nice worldly family that we clean for invited us to their family's celebration. Good food, good people, and lots of fun. Well, we did rob a gas station, bow to Satan's altar, kill a homeless person, and by the end of the night it turned into an orgy at the house because we all know that's what "worldly" people do all the time as the Borg told us, but it was a good time. -
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Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses
by dubstepped in"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".
those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.
what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?
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dubstepped
@Diogenesister - Feel free to share my story with anyone that you think it might help or that might help you by reading it. I have put it up on Facebook in one of the groups as well. I hate to think that all that I went through was for nothing, so I'm thrilled that it might help others. And I do know that it wasn't for nothing. I wouldn't be who I am today without some of it, but still it helps to put it out there and know that others appreciate it in some way.
@2+2=5 - Is that a reference to Orwell's 1984? Methinks it is, and I love that. I just bought the audiobook and listened to it at work and wow, it mirrored so much of the JW religion. I just felt like I needed a shower after finishing that book. So reminiscent of life as a dub.
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I just found out that my youngest brother committed suicide
by SnakesInTheTower inmy middle brother called me a couple of hours ago.
our youngest brother, josh, who was 38, was found by his friends in his apartment.
he hung himself.
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dubstepped
I wish I had something of great impact to say, but all I can offer is my deepest condolences and to let you know not to judge your feelings. Let them be what they'll be. Don't try to control them. I'm so sorry. -
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Recent announcement on literature placements
by dbq407 ini find it interesting that the other night they announced that literature is not to be left indiscriminately.
they said to only leave literature if the householder engages you in conversation.
it used to be that they would try to get any literature into every hand of every person.
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dubstepped
If they're going to track videos shown I guess that goes to show that they weren't tracking placements all of those years for inventory control as some claimed. That was for people control. So are the proposed changes above. -
35
Saddest thing about being DFd
by kairos ini always enjoyed being kind.
when someone genuinely needed a hand or what not, it felt good to help family or friends.. i don't really miss them anymore.
i faded over two years ago, so they long ago shunned me.i think about them less and less and have even forgotten some names.i did enjoy some of the friendships and the association.
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dubstepped
I feel ya Kairos, as I was one to reach out and help others myself. However, unlike you, I never really got any association back. Sure, if someone wanted something done for them that was in my wheelhouse they could find my number, but the reality is that nobody really ever invited us to do anything. We tried and tried to fit in for years and never really made it. People liked us, and they would chat us up at the hall, but nobody ever really wanted to do anything with us outside of it.
I've literally asked for shepherding calls in the past and was told no. I never knew why. I've bought pizza thinking that people were coming to my house and sat there with pizza and not one soul to eat it with. My wife got involved in this bizarre hit and run charge (completely and almost laughably unfounded if it wasn't such a stressful event) and some at the hall knew what we were up against and that my wife was facing jail and a huge fine for something completely out of nowhere and not one person ever reached out to us, especially none of the supposed "shepherds". We would go to restaurants after meetings to find groups of people from the hall there. We were alone, and yes we would ask people to eat with us but it rarely happened.
At a point you know you aren't really wanted. Wanted when they need something? Sure. Wanted for just the awesome people we are? Nope. Almost never. All the while we turned down chance after chance to socialize with really nice "worldly" people that we worked for that went out of their way to invite us to things. JW's were total assholes to us, always quick to throw a "we need to get together" out there to our face, only to find the promises as hollow as the many previous end of the world predictions of the religion.
Peace Kairos. I wish you well and hope you enjoy people that truly do enjoy your company without the conditions that JW's put on everything, though in my opinion most all relationships are somewhat conditional. The dubs take that up several notches though. You have to be exactly like them to keep friends.
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35
No Kingdom Halls would definitely work!
by John Aquila inlast night we were invited to a get-together with quite a few heavies attendingelders and regular pioneers.
there was beer and later some music.
everyone got relaxed and let down their guard and starting talking all kinds of non-theocratic stuff that you only discuss after a few beers.
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dubstepped
Man, I so want to believe you and used to tell my wife about many of your stories, but this plus the secret large group of ex-elders and pioneers and such that hold their own meetings on occasion just make me wonder. Either you are totally full of it or you are from an area with much more liberal dubs than I've ever seen. I know that not all dubs are wound as tightly as the ones I've been around in the Midwest (USA), which tends to be a very conservative region of the country whether dub or not. You've got to admit though, your latest stories have been pretty hard to believe for many of us because they're not reflective of anything most of us have ever seen. -
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Too Funny Prank
by berrygerry infrom a redditor - would have died to have been there.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/3sukbu/our_congregation_happens_to_have_a_networked/.
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dubstepped
That was epic! I have to say though, that if it were me, I would probably just insert my voice saying something to the effect of "look to your left, and look to your right. Someone in here is an apostate and is letting you know in this song." I figure that would make them all paranoid. Then again, since 9 out of 10 JW's can barely figure out how to turn on a computer in any congregation that I attended, it would really narrow the field as to who it was that infiltrated their system. -
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Long Story of my Life/Experience
by GrownMidget inalso, my wife has come to her limits of understanding me about the witnesses related grief i have been having.
she has told me many times to stop reading the ex-witness sites because i get depressed and become angry, which sadly is true.
it's not very productive to be sad throughout the entire day and then shout at your wife for the reason she has no first hand experience about, therefore how could she possibly know and help?
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dubstepped
Hello! Thanks for posting your story. That was a heavy read, and you've been through a lot. It's beautiful to see that you've made it through though, and that shows a lot about the type of person that you are. Very inspiring! I recently posted my story too and I hope that sharing was cathartic for you like it was for me. I will likely soon stop visiting here myself. Like you, I too find myself negatively impacted by many of the things that I read on here and elsewhere. Be well, and take care of yourself first. I wish you all the health and happiness in the world. We all deserve it after what we've been through. -
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Retirement Planning for ex-JW's
by Simon inthis is something i think about a lot, possibly because i'm just getting older.
it seems that not only should i finally one day decide what i want to do with my life, but i should also be planning for retirement.. hands up everyone who feels their future has been royally screwed by the wts experience?.
if you were a good jw and followed the wts advice you could well be finding yourself facing middle or even old age without much or anything put aside in retirement savings.
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dubstepped
Giordano: Dubstepped: I'm looking at a Roth IRA invested in good index funds from here to retirement.
"in his recently released letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders, Buffett gives us a glimpse into how he views long-term investing. As arguably the greatest stock picker of our time, his perspectives may surprise you.
Buffett describes advice he has left in his will as to how the trustee should invest money Buffett is leaving for his wife. Here’s Buffett’s advice:
“My advice to the trustee could not be more simple: Put 10 percent of the cash in short-term government bonds and 90 percent in a very low-cost S&P 500 index fund. (I suggest Vanguard’s.)”Thanks for the share. I went through most of Tony Robbin's book on money (it was long winded and full of fluff but I got the main points) and that's where I was introduced to index funds. I've already picked out my funds on Vanguard, actually. I'll take care of it myself instead of giving a percentage to other people to manage it for me.For us, by retirement our house will have been paid off for some time. If we save as we hope to we can retire semi-comfortably. The reality though is that anything can happen. A weird physical ailment could be devastating even with insurance if it cuts one or both of us off from working. We clean houses so we aren't exactly making a huge salary each, though together we do fine and we're willing to hustle and work as much as we need to, always taking on extra work here and there. It is a physical job, and who knows how long we can physically keep up the pace. All we can do is the best we can with what we've got and see where the chips fall. Life is unpredictable.
I watched my dad "retire" when his kidneys failed and he went on disability and such. He was near 60 years of age. My parents didn't have any preparation for retirement. No money at all. No real assets to speak of. They'll survive for sure, and with a low income his entire working life my guess is that his benefits and such probably aren't high. I just want to be sure that we are taken care of, and especially my wife should something ever happen to me.