David_Jay - You don't see Witnesses and their children constantly peeing themselves in public places or throwing up in church or school each and everyday because of having been made to follow the rules and miss Christmas. But I would do these things all the time due to the abuse I suffered as a child because I couldn't express emotionally what was happening to me at home when I was in the hands of my father and mother.
Following strict rules in the Witness religion doesn't leave you with bruises, with bloody noses, with concussions or sore genitals and a bleeding bum. Abuse does. Being taught there are evil spirits or Armageddon that can come any day now is not the same as being tied up and gagged and locked in a closet for a day or two, having to live in your own feces and urine.
David, with all due respect, these words set your particular horrific example of abuse up as abuse, and you set apart following rules and missing Christmas or being taught about evil spirits or Armageddon as something that isn't abuse. Of course, the OP isn't just talking about simply those matters, but even those matters may have felt very abusive, and as a former JW you know there is more to what is going on than merely being told not to celebrate Christmas or that Armageddon is coming. I can't read those words and not see you holding your example of abuse up as one to measure others against.
My intent wasn't to shame you for your words, though maybe it came off that way. Intent is hard to read in these highly charged emotional subjects. My apologies if you felt shamed by my response, but my intent was to show that others don't have to feel bad about calling what happened to them abuse because abuse is more about how a person feels than a list of xyz that constitutes "abuse" in an official list. My intent was also to shine light on what I have seen as almost a competition of abuse, where people have a hard time giving weight to what happened to them because someone else had it worse, or where someone that had it worse has a hard time giving weight to what others went through because it wasn't seemingly as bad.
We may disagree on what constitutes abuse, and you have your right to your feelings on it, as I do mine. I've expressed on here how much I value your posts, but this one took me aback because I had to give weight to my own abuse even though there were no physical scars in order to begin to heal. My mom literally wished my dad would hit her so that she could give weight to it and get out. We all speak to these things from our own experiences and lens and this is an opportunity for us all to learn by speaking to these things. I'll bow out now, but I hope this shines some light on what I wrote. My intent was pure, even if I perhaps was taken aback and reacted too harshly to what I perceived as a harsh view. I do sometimes tend to see things differently than others, so if I misread my apologies are in order.