dubstepped

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Posts by dubstepped

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  49

  JW Wife not listening

  by rathernotsay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys, looking for some advice with what to do with my jw wife that is simply ignoring my wishes/demands.

  first a little back story, we have been married for 6 years and have 3 children together.

  she is a jw, and i am not (nor do i have any religious beliefs).

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  dubstepped

  I went back and read your thread about her cheating. To me you either need to get marriage counseling or it's time to part ways. She has no respect for you, and I think that you have little for her, and she's definitely given you reasons for that. I'm sorry man. If one of us says no to something then no is the answer. We don't go behind each other's backs. That's messed up and says a lot.
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  4

  The Surprise Of Many Over Shunning From Family And Friends

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think there's a level of cognitive dissonance that is present within many that leave over the shunning thing.

  i hear so many tales of people that leave and think that their family will talk to them.

  sure, that does happen, but it's by far the minority.

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  dubstepped

  I think there's a level of cognitive dissonance that is present within many that leave over the shunning thing. I hear so many tales of people that leave and think that their family will talk to them. Sure, that does happen, but it's by far the minority. My wife was surprised at her family's reaction to us going to visit my disfellowshipped brother. I told her that it would have consequences, and she didn't think so. It did, immediate and swift consequences of shunning for one visit to my brother at that time.

  If you leave, expect to be shunned forever. That's it. If you get anything more than that you're doing good. Yes, their shunning is stupid. Yes, these supposedly loving people are prepared to psychologically torture you to try to manipulate you, and maybe more importantly, to prove to themselves that they can take this ultimate stand for their "truth". It isn't so much about you really, but more about them and their relationship with the cult, but you need to start from the baseline of knowing that you're going to be shunned and it will be for the rest of your life. Honestly, it may be for the best, as those individuals have the stank of the cult all over them, and you can't interact with them without it. They are toxic people, often with tremendously dysfunctional boundaries and beliefs. It is sad. It is often heartbreaking. It is real though, and needs to be accepted when you leave as what will happen.

  That doesn't mean that you can't hope for something to happen, maybe someone to awaken and come out with you at some point in the future, but so long as you are on those opposite sides of the fence, expect not to see them. If you're expectations are that these cult members are going to be reasonable, you're often setting yourself up for tremendous disappointment.
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  14

  We do sound like a cult

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "we do sound like a cult..." so in the last few conversations i have had with my still deeply in friend she has mentioned this a couple times when lamenting things that don't seem right.

  she has a relative that left and is telling everyone jw's are a cult.

  she is very defensive and deeply disturbed by this accusation.

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  dubstepped

  That is encouraging and mirrors some of my own path to awakening. Give her time and keep playing that long game. I think it just might pay off with this one. It's a painful process and very stressful, but there's such a beautiful freedom that lies just beyond that.
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  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

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  dubstepped

  You are one strong young man. Good for you, it will bode well for your life going forward. I know this hurts, especially the words from your sister and mom, but read what Pete Zahut said above. He nailed it. They are hurting for themselves. My sister talked all kinds of smack about me on social media accounts before we even disassociated. My dad called me and yelled and made no sense, talking himself in circles about "the gays" because apparently years ago I defended them as not making a choice to be gay anymore than I made a choice to be straight, something that apparently stuck with my dad. It was a very abusive interaction that reminded me of my past growing up with him as a father, and elder. They are venting their confusion and stress on you.
  
  Guilt is "I did a bad thing" and shame is "I am a bad person". You are neither. You did something that any normal family member would be proud of, taking a stand against something so huge. You showed tremendous courage and strength, and we are proud of you. Now you have freedom, but as you know, freedom is never free. It comes with a cost. You've started paying that off.
  
  If you need advice going forward feel free to reach out to me or post on here. We are here to help. You clearly have a great handle on some things, but you're young and have lots of life skills that you've not yet put to the test. Ask questions and get guidance as needed.

  You, my friend, are in the first day of a new life. A new day has dawned, and everything is possible. It is exciting, but likely scary on some levels. You aren't alone though. Even if your parents and siblings leave you, you are never alone.
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  12

  'They're preying on my grief' - Widow slams Jehovah's Witnesses

  by daveysmithy30 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4568152/widow-says-christian-group-preying-grief.html.

  just published today on a grieving widow who was sent publications after her husband passed away.. unbelievable!

  no respect or honor at all.. your comments and views are welcomed.. d.

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  dubstepped

  I love that she called them out. Good for her! I'm just sorry they messed with her grieving process. Such a horrible cult.

  Oh, but there's no policy encouraging this type of exploitation, says one elder. F $#! that guy. They certainly encourage such tactics, and there's definitely no policy discouraging such assholery in a cult that has policy discouraging just about anything one can think of.

  Disgusting, inhuman trash is what they are, only thinking of themselves like the narcissists they've been taught to be.
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  42

  Told My Parents Yesterday That I Don't Want to Be a JW

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wasn't entirely sure what to expect when i made the decision to tell my parents how i really feel, but i was prepared for the worst, fortunately, it didn't come to that.

  after i told them i didn't want to go to the meetings anymore it led to a long talk with them.

  they made a number of irksome and woefully uninformed statements but at least they were not aggressive and have said that they won't force me to move out over this, though, i can tell they are hoping they can convince me to "accept the truth," as long as i still live with them.

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  dubstepped

  Life has the purpose you give it. If that means believing in a fairy tale because you can't give it meaning shadow, I pity you. A kid, this kid, the OP, is more mature than you.
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  4

  Hi all (again)

  by TheLittleGuy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone,.

  just wanted to reintroduce myself.

  i was minnow on jwr and when it got shut down i took the opportunity to go quiet as things were starting to get uncomfortable as far as trying to maintain 100% anonymity.. now i'm back and hoping to reconnect with my old friends, like helen travers, tony brock and others.. hope you are all well..

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  dubstepped

  You might even want to make new friends and get to know some of us.
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  44

  Lot's Wife - Connect the dots - JW.org

  by Funchback in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  yay!

  now kids can help draw lot's wife getting destroyed.. .

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  dubstepped

  Please tell me this isn't real. They really hit new lows.

  I think it's time for a DIY art project, a collage of photos of family members that will be slaughtered at Armageddon. Let the kids gather 'round, cut out pics of their unbelieving dad, maybe that sibling that left da troof, that class picture of all of those worldly kids at school, and then they can burn the pics in fire, symbolizing the second death. Maybe make some little dolls out of bird seed and sit them in the yard to see how it will be when the birds eat all of the carcasses left after the day of Jehovah's vengeance. Such a warm and fuzzy cult.
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  47

  Has the Bible been redacted so that YAHWEH can be promoted to EL's position as Almighty God?

  by I_love_Jeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  for background, read: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/yahweh, the section, "iron age i: el, yahweh, and the origins of israel.

  " "el and his sons made up the assembly of the gods, each member of which had a human nation under his care, and a textual variant of deuteronomy 32:8–9 describes the sons of el, including yahweh, each receiving his own people.

  "el, the kind, the compassionate,' 'the creator of creatures,' was the chief of the canaanite gods, and he, not yahweh, was the original 'god of israel'—the word 'israel' is based on the name el rather than yahweh.

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  dubstepped

  Wow, this is enlightening David_Jay. The following may be stupid questions, but they're sincere.

  1. So god is this Cause and is unknowable. What do Jews do at a temple worship session, for lack of a better term? All I know is going to a KH and trying to know everything there was to know about what you deem unknowable.

  2. Do Orthodox Jews see "The Cause" the same way that other variations do (I plead ignorance on the various types so I won't throw around the terms I know)? Or is that kind of the beauty of it, that "The Cause" just is and each group reads into it their own way.

  3. Were sacrifices and other forms of worship given to this abstract Cause, or was there a time when there was Jewish belief in something more personable and finite? I mean, there are recorded instances on the Bible of Jews speaking directly to God. It seems like they didn't find their God to be so abstract.

  4. Did Judaism take their God(s) from other people that existed before them, like the Sumerians? Do you see evidence of them borrowing from those pre-existing belief systems?

  I find the history of this fascinating, though admittedly I struggle to keep dates and periods straight. If I butchered anything above, my apologies, and feel free to set the record straight. My grandfather was of Jewish cultural descent, though his parents were in the Christian Science movement. I have had an interest because of him. I wish I could have picked his brain about so much, but I was a kid when he died.
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  12

  Suffering And The Meaning Of Life

  by Brokeback Watchtower in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  what is the meaning of life?

  we all die, so what is the meaning.

  religion tries to bridge the gap with absolutist answers to this problem of existence by giving immortality to it's members in good standing(so join us or parish).helps to pay the bills using fear of annihilation to keep members as a source of material $$uport.

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  dubstepped

  Why does death equal meaningless? Why does there have to be some bigger meaning?